I think this is a way of him trying to control what I do. I make my own money and I never spend money that we dont have.
2007-12-20 09:43:15 · 23 answers · asked by lishia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well I don't know your husband but I do know this even though you say its your own money really if your married its considered to be both of your monies. now i would not ask to buy something but I do show my husband respect in the fact that i do discuss with him the things that i am thinking about buying as does he. sometimes Its a good thing since he may have a reason why he may not want you to get something. Now if you feel that he is controlling for other reasons also than he just might be.
2007-12-20 10:06:22 · answer #1 · answered by mariarh79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I dont think he is being controlling. I think he is just trying to communicate openly with you. I know when I want to buy something that I dont need I always let my husband know. Sometimes I need him to bring me back to reality. Theres better things to spend money on than shoes & clothes. Why not use that money for savings?
2007-12-20 18:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by Chargers baby! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if he doesn't offer you the same courtesy, asking you before he buys something, that it is very controlling. Does he tell you what to do otherwise?
You're not a child, and no matter what some people may say, he's not the boss of you! You're partners in this and as such both of you must respect the other one. I think you should both agree that if you're going to spend over $XXX, the other one will be consulted first. Doesn't matter what the amount is, just that you agree on it, and BOTH stick to it.
2007-12-20 18:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by Debdeb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes , it is very controlling,. Does he have to ask you before he buys anything. If you make you own money, I think you should be free to buy anything you so choose. Tell him to back off. He is not your account, nor your father, and just because the two of you are married, doesn't mean he gets to tell you what to do.
2007-12-20 19:04:35 · answer #4 · answered by lucylocket7258 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya think?? Does he ask you permission to buy something?? If the answer is no, than he is totally trying to control you!! If you are making your own money, than you should be able to spend your money on whatever you want as long as all the bills are paid. If he doesn't like it, then tell him to go pound sand!!
2007-12-20 17:59:37 · answer #5 · answered by redsox41004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if it is a big purchase definetley, but if it is like a soda no way, does he tell you everything or ask you if he can purchase something?? if it doesnt go both ways then it is def controlling, me and my husband talk to each other about what is being purchased, i wil lask him if its okay to go out and get fast food or something, but he is the one that knows what bills we have to pay and if we have enough money to do so, so it really depends on the if it goes both ways or not, if he wants you to ask him for little purchases then id say controlling
2007-12-20 18:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by Tiffany R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe something happened in the past that you are not telling us here. But there is nothing wrong with asking him before buying anything. He proabably says that because he doesn't want you to spend money unwisely. Or, wants to be sure before you spend - make sure there is enough money for whatever you want to buy it on.
2007-12-21 23:13:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband likes for me to call and ask him if it's okay, if i want to buy clothes or stuff that i don't NEED, but if it's household stuff, or things we agreed on beforehand, its fine. if you are spending your own money, then yes, it's a bit controlling. talk to him about it. if you are spending the JOINT money (for rent/mortgage, bills, etc), then you NEED to talk about how the money is spent. my husband knows that he can't stop me from buying things, but i know what our budget is, and what we are saving for. you have to compromise. do you have a joint account, and a separate account for both of you, for gifts and personal items (purse, shoes, clothing)? if not, it might be a good thing to do.
2007-12-20 17:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A better compromise would be if you two sat down and set a limit of how much each person can spend without having to consult the other.
Maybe he's not trying to be controlling, just cautious.
2007-12-20 18:47:56 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Sweet♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it is okay if he asks you when he buys beer, car/truck items or whatever he likes to spend his money on. What is good for you should also be reciprocated by him. Some nerve! Remember whatever you start in the relationships will go on and on and on. So make sure whatever you do you are comfortable with it.
2007-12-20 18:00:05 · answer #10 · answered by Titus12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋