I go out with my friends ex. The thing is they went out in middle school and now were in high school. I didn't meet her until this year and i just started going out with him. about a month after we started going out my friend wasnt speaking to me. when i asked what was wrong she told me that im a backstabber because that is her ex and i didnt know it was her ex until she told me that day... what should i do?
2007-12-20 09:15:58 · 8 answers · asked by Jasmine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a very sticky situation which can only be made right by complete honesty and openness.You say that you started dating this guy about a month ago, that you did not know he had dated your friend, and did not find out until the day that your friend told you. While I believe you, you have to convince your girlfriend. Point out to her that 1)you did not know her until this year and so did not know whom she dated in middle school2)That she did not tell you about her former boyfriends so you had no way to know that he was her ex3)That you only started dating him only a month ago , not long enough to discover their past connection.4)that you did not know until she told you, also that you were the one that asked her after she stopped talking to you,that she said nothing to you when she found out(something a friend will have done), that if you were a backstabber, you would not have asked her what was wrong when she stopped speaking to you.Tell her that you regret that the guy you started to date was her ex but that does not make you a bad friend or a traitor. However you have to start thinking about who is more important to you -----him or her---because it looks like you might have to choose. I suspect that she will ask you to stop dating him in order to remain her friend and you may have to decide whom you want to be with the most.I realize it may not look fair to you, but that is part of life.
2007-12-20 10:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a bad friend you didn't know maybe ur friend has a hard time controling her emotions but don't be hard on her! Now Middle to high school could still mean different things 8th the 9th is only a year maybe not even that or even 7th to 10th is a greater interval of time so u see it varies. I'd say two years is enough time to heal! but decide ur proirities u just met her so do u want a friend that will give u up over silly boy problems is it gonna be worth the friendship! As for the boy hey If that's your man and he's ready to move on! go ahead just don't rub it in her face b/c obviously she still hurting a bit, but friendship is give and take try not to rub it her face but she has to be accepting or it's not worth it!
2007-12-20 09:26:19 · answer #2 · answered by Crazynoumoi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a good friend and don't mess with her ex. Because u don't wont this situation with this guy get any deeper than it already is. You should leave him alone. Another thing is u don't wont your friend to backstabber u because its KARMA and since u know this is her ex before your emotions come more deep I would just leave him alone. Good friends are hard 2 find.
Good Luck
2007-12-20 09:23:28 · answer #3 · answered by Queen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should continue to go out with whomever you please. The reason your friend is upset is actually because they are afraid their ex might tell you all kinds of things about them. You must not let this happen. The chances of you keeping your friend are very small. This relationship will probably drive you apart so you are going to have to make a choice..one or the other....but...for the right reasons...not because your friend is upset at you.
You're not a back stabber or a bad person..you are someone who met someone and have strong feelings for them. Go for it. Forget all the crap coming from your friend.
I had the same problem and chose to forget the friend because they, in the end, weren't my friend. They didn't accept me going out with their ex. Screw that...i was in love. End of story.
2007-12-20 09:40:41 · answer #4 · answered by Yner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to decide who is more important in your life, the girl or the guy? It shouldn't be a big deal but it obviously is to her and some people are just more sensitive to that. If you really want to be her friend you'll ditch him, but if you really see yourself with him and she's not so important in your life then ditch her. In a perfect world you shouldn't have to choose, but in reality sometimes you do. Good luck!
2007-12-20 09:20:13 · answer #5 · answered by JungleJane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get over herself. You shouldn't ditch a friend for a guy, but your friend shouldn't act like this over a guy she was with several years ago for what? A couple of months? I mean, it was middle school.
2007-12-20 09:21:09 · answer #6 · answered by Velo Princesse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she obvisously still has feelings for her, you should talk to her about it and explain that you didn't know he was her ex. No one but you can decied if your friend or boyfriend is more important, Good Luck
2007-12-20 09:28:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its not like you knew or did it on purpose but i can still see why your friends hurt. If you really like him then dont let her tear you guys apart but also be sensitive to her feelings, she is obviously crushed. Talk to her and let you know how you feel and listen to how she feels before you make any decisions
2007-12-20 09:20:19 · answer #8 · answered by glitznglitter69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋