help! my 9 month old baby will not go to sleep without being held and cries when put down...is nightmare!!!?

Answer 1

The problem isn't your baby, your baby is acting like a perfectly normal human baby who knows what he/she needs to survive and thrive. Babies need human contact for brain development, also babies don't know they are in a nice climate-controlled house with no wolves to eat them.

So the problem is your expectations. Sadly we have become convinced in this culture that baby humans should act more like baby rabbits. See baby rabbits are left in a den all day and only nurse 2-3 times per day, momma rabbit spends less than 30 minutes a day at the den so that she doesn't attract predators. Of course baby bunnies are designed for this.

Many studies have shown solitary sleep and forcing a baby to sleep through the night before they (as an individual) are developmentally ready increases stress hormones, increases the risks of SIDS and increases the risks of mental illness for a lifetime. Few studies if any show a benefit to solitary sleep for a baby, sure its convenient for mom but frankly you have to make certain sacrifices when you become a parent.

Sleeping through the Night
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html

The Science of Mother Love: Is Science Catching Up to Mother's Wisdom?
http://www.mother-2-mother.com/wisdom.html

Co-sleeping
http://asklenore.com/parenting/sleep/cosleeping.html

The Benefits of Co-Sleeping
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/co_slepping.html

Stay Close to your Baby
http://mothernurture.co.nz/co-sleeping.htm

Co-Sleeping
Another Way to Promote Infant Health
http://www.parentingweb.com/ap/sleep_health.htm



http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html

Answer 2

I feel your pain. My 5 week old baby wakes up sometimes within 30 minutes of me laying her down. Some days are better than others. I am just wondering how I am going to be able to go to work full time and come home to get next to none sleep. I have read a lot of articles in hope to find an answer. I know to sleep when the baby sleeps and that every baby is different. My baby loves to fall asleep on me, and if I could sleep with her on me I would (but I fear of accidental hurting her while I sleep).

If you have some you trust to watch the baby one day a week, this will help you get some sleep and get the things you need done. I wish my mom lived her because that is what I would do.

Answer 3

My son is 8 months old today actually! Anyhow, there are nights when he will do this and I found if I lay him down and give him is binky and rub his back or tummy for a little bit (with mobile on + we have a thing that projects images onto the roof and plays music he loves it sometimes just staring at that puts him to sleep) anyhow I just stand there and rub him until he calms down then once he does he's out for the night. He might also be cutting a tooth or something like that, that might be causing him pain if this is something he has just started to do. Either way I hope this helps. Good Luck!

Answer 4

You could try rocking her until right before she falls asleep, and then put her down not awake but not tired. That way she doesnt realize whats going on and will hopefully get past this phase. You could also try this with a swing. You may just have to let her cry it out. Pacifiers can also alter her sleeping too so you might have to only let her use them during the day.

Have you tried music?
Everytime I cant get my daughter to sleep we try a CD of soothing music and as long as we change the CD routinely it usually works.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Let you child cry it out. you will drive yourself crazy if you always have to hold your baby.
first try feeding him and maybe is going through a growth spurt and is hungry, has to burp, or has gas.

When you know everything is ok put your baby in the crib turn on the music and leave him in there. It is hard but trust me it works. Every day will get better....

Answer 6

Put your child down in her crib with the baby monitor on. Let her cry it out. It won't hurt her, she'll eventually wear herself out. Check on her every 15 minutes, but during this time, make yourself busy so the time doesn't drag by for you. You are the parent and if you do not start taking decisive actions on how you want the relationship to be between you and your child then this is only going to carry on to other aspects of your life.

Children learn habits from day one. This is one you are going to have to break and at this age they really don't have any other form of expressing their discontent over it than screaming. Just stay strong and in no time you will be able to lay her down and she'll go right off to sleep with out giving you any problems.

Answer 7

YOU TOOO! Mine has started throwing tantrums too. I read that it a 10 month old thing though she isn't 10 months. She started doing the same thing about 5 months just before she started scooting around. I think its a frustration thing for them.

Answer 8

i used to think it was os mean to let them cry it out but with my son i started having some back problems so i couldnt hold him for long periods of time tho at first i tried so i laid him down let him cry it out after the second night he started going to sleep on his own

Answer 9

Put her down and let her cry until she falls asleep. If its bed time, she's tired and she's changed and not in pain she'll learn to put herself to sleep.

Either let her learn, or accept the fact that its your job to put her to sleep for the rest of her life until she "out grows" it.

Every parent has to make that choice. My son cried for 3 hours, and then got over it and now falls asleep like a champ.

Answer 10

Babies need to be comforted to sleep. Hold or rock her until she is sleeping deeply enough to be laid down, or just tuck her into bed next to you.

http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp