My soon to be ex husband left me 3 1/2 months pregnant, cheated on me three times during our marriage and then tried to get back together with me and I almost gave in, but then I realized that he did it 3 times of course if I gave in He'd do it to me over and over again without caring about my feelings. I quit talking to him after I started our divorce and he agreed to talk to my mother for my son's info. Because every time I talk to him he just keeps asking me to come back and I keep telling him no, but he doesn't seem to get the picture. Am I a jerk for not putting up with his ****?
2007-12-20 07:36:56 · 69 answers · asked by Angel_Eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had the baby 10 Months ago.. Sorry I didn't explain that. And to clear something else up I took him back after his first cheat not the other two, in which one was a guy.
2007-12-20 07:50:12 · update #1
I've allowed him visitation of course I am not completely evil, but when he says he's coming some times he just never shows up. I'll wait all day and he never came, never called to tell me he wasn't coming, and acts like it was absolutely no big deal. I would like him to be a dad, he just rarely acts like one.
2007-12-20 08:11:39 · update #2
No. You hit the nail on the head with this one. You're on the right track and you just stay on it, steadfastly. So sorry you had to go through this, but congrats to you for seeing the truth of the situation.
Cheaters have really big ego's so they can't STAND losing. When they do, they get desperate and will say ANYTHING to try to get you back. They're relentless, so they can keep it up for years. It's not because they mean anything they say, it's because all women are a conquest. If they CAN get you back, then they just proved to their self, again, they're all that. As soon as he's confident he's got you back where he want's you, he'll get back out on the cheating and lying circuit. Their appetite for conquering women is insatiable. Nothing is ever enough for these guys.
As much as it can hurt to be cheated on, it's very important for you to not take this one personal. He's lied to you and he's lying to EVERY woman he talks to, and trust me, he's talking to every woman he can when you're not looking. Check the details on his cell phone bill, you'll see what I'm talking about. They are expert liars because they spend a lifetime practicing on every unwitting victim in their path. They play the victim extremely well, can even use tears on command, because they know that us women are suckers for a hurt man and it's our nature to make it all better. They have a sickness and deep inside they're very insecure. There just aren't enough women in the world to fill the hole they feel inside.
You can be the best wife in the world, the most beautiful, the greatest cook, the greatest lover, the most faithful woman ever, AND YOU WILL NOT CHANGE WHAT HE IS.
2007-12-20 08:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by Horserider75 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay I am starting off with knowing I mayge t a few thumbs down on this but here goes....
You are not a jerk for doing what you feel is right & that takes a lot of strength to go through what you are going through right now. Now I am not saying you should take the guy back but some (I mean few) people deserve a second chance. You should weigh things out...scratch that You did what you needed to do & I applaud you for it. I dont think you should keep him out of your sons life though if he is wanting to be a dad. Now if he starts being a dad then decides to run off when he is supposed be seeing his son tell him to just not bother.
I had an on again off again dad & wish I wouldve just never have known him instead of never knowing if he was coming to see me or not.
2007-12-20 08:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by Chantilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, being a "jerk" is a good thing. See, there are some people, and your ex sounds like one, who don't take no for an answer. You can't be nice to them because they don't get it. You HAVE to be a "jerk" just to protect your own feelings. You are completely justified for handling the situation the way you are handling it.
2007-12-20 07:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you give a man a get out of jail free card, you give them the right to do it again and again, and again! My husband cheated one time that I am aware of in our relationship and I didn't make cheating on me easy! I left him for a while and threw him straight to the dogs with the relationship! After seeing that the grass isn't greener on the other side he gave up and came clean and we healed! You have to let them fall on there face but your doing the right thing! Because in this case he's had it all to easy! Let him disrupt someone else's life and move on with yours..... Because he'll never stop as you can see.....
2007-12-20 07:55:43 · answer #4 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Do what you r doing. He knows u love him and will tell u and b everything u always wanted him too... til he gets u back. I did that w/ my ex and the stress on me killed the baby. After the baby died he stayed by my side out of guilt then screwed around 5 days later. They don't change. It's been 6 months since i left him and it does get better no matter how much u loved him u have allready been through enough! Believe me, no matter what he says he only cares about himself!!!
2007-12-20 07:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by la 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is the JERK and I could call him a lot more than that, but I would get kicked off yahoo for it. In a year, you will see you are soooo much better off without him. You dont need someone to treat you like that. Show your child that you are a strong positive person. You can do this! We're on YOUR SIDE! Stay strong and positive.
2007-12-20 07:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by lill2441 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also agree, once a cheater, always a cheater. Plus he left you while you were pregnant! This guy is selfish and only thinking of himself. That is unforgivable in my book! He probably wants what he can't have now, but if you got back with him, he would try to go after something else. Move on with your life and find someone who will respect you and adore you. Don't settle for this loser.
2007-12-20 07:43:52 · answer #7 · answered by iceprincess34_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are you a Midwife and you can't spell Fiancé, pregnant and miscarriage or form a coherent sentence? I would love to help you out but I am not really sure what the problem is.... from what I can tell the most obvious problem would be failure to use the spell check feature on your computer.
2016-04-10 10:00:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a very sacrificing and forgiving person.I respect you for that.But you shouldn't let people walk all over you(i am bein a hyocrite here.).If i were you i would either pour acid over him in his sleep,or get a court order,OR go to Doctor Phil. or Oprah.And you are not a jerk sweetie.You husband is not a jerk,he is a lowlife,asshole,scum of the earth,*****,and deserves to be alone the rest of his life(and i am restraining myself here).
2007-12-20 07:43:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just lay down and write "doormat" on yourself? You are far from being a jerk. Continue with the divorce and move on with your life. Do you really want to teach your son the ways of his father?
2007-12-20 07:54:44 · answer #10 · answered by queenbee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋