Me and my fiance constantly fight it seems. She says its because she must repeat herself and remind me constantly of things I forget to do. So basically I cant remember things or I have to be reminded. She says she cant live the rest of her life repeating everything. Well a we have been together for 3 years and things didnt get bad till maybe a year and a half ago. She said it just all added up. Says she doesn't know if she can spend her whole life repeating things. She has a short fuse and gets frustrated pretty easy. Because I am pretty laid back she insists that i can find someone better that would treat me better, but i beg to differ. Other than that we have a pretty good relationship i think. I have suggested counseling and everything but she said it would do no good. What can I do? I try to listen better but sometimes i just zone out and cant remember what she says. I see it all as very little problems in the grand scheme of things...but i guess it really bothers her. Help?!
2007-12-20 07:16:47 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We women love to know that you are listening to us. It is a sign that you really care. So although it may not seem like a big deal to you, trust me it is to her. Try doing what she asks before she repeats herself as often as you can. It will improve the relationship dramatically. Good luck!
2007-12-20 07:29:47 · answer #1 · answered by kim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to fight as long as you fight fairly, that is, no "crazy-making" and intentional hurting of each other's feelings, no emotional abuse ("you're ugly", etc) and by all means, no physical abuse.
In fact, in at least one study, couples who didn't argue at all were more likely to get divorced or breakup. It seems "fighting" is normal in healthy relationships - it indicates the two parties CARE.
It's unfortunate that she wants to throw in the towel, but that would certainly be a valid issue to "fight" with her about.
Also, the fact that you're willing to get some counseling or "mediation", is a positive - if she's smart, she'll eventually come around. She may be surprised at the results. Good luck!
2007-12-20 07:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by HyperDog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make an effort to listen to her and pitch in to help out. Being unavailable like that is maddening.
Try treating it more like a business and take notes.
Put up a dry-wipe board and have her write whatever it is she wants so you can look at it, do it and then wipe it off.
2007-12-20 08:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for sure don't get married until this is all fixed.....she is like i was and you are like my husband of 33 years...in order for thi ngs to work you two need to fix this...after 33 years you just learn that he's the way he is and i am not going to change him..also you need to decide wether you can live with this....i am a perfectionist married to a slob....we have come to many guidelines...he keeps his mess in the basement and i don't go down there and get frustrated with it and upstairs stays clean so I am happy...compromise
2007-12-20 08:23:23 · answer #4 · answered by lanek 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋