I know someone who is cancelling their Christmas celebrations because a relative (but not an immediate family member) is dying from cancer. Personally, I feel very badly for this person and family members, but I am wondering if it is not a little extreme to decide you're not doing ANYTHING for Christmas. I'm thinking they should still celebrate Christmas, and just realize it's okay to be sad. Please weigh in with your opinion...still figuring this one out for myself.
2007-12-20 07:04:35 · 19 answers · asked by trust_n_obey 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
People react differently to impending death. They may feel guilty for "being happy" while they know that someone is about to lose a family member that was loved. Its hard to realize that life goes on and you will laugh and celebrate while perhaps someone else is crying and mourning. This may be the first time that someone they know closely is dying and this is the reaction. I do not think one should "cancel" Christmas but I understand the mixed feelings they are experiencing.
2007-12-20 07:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by Beatrice C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Years ago we were in that same situation: my mother's sister was dying. However, she WANTED to have a last Christmas, though she was weak and couldn't join in as usual. It was a quieter, more subdued Christmas than other years and, though sad, we all tried to cheer her and show her how much we loved her. She died at the end of that January, but she had been able to enjoy a final Christmas.
Unless the person, himself/herself, doesn't want to celebrate one more Christmas, I'd think it would be the best thing possible for he/she. In that way, loved ones will be all around and beauty will fill the eyes and ears of the one who is dying.
However, if this isn't an immediate family member, perhaps your friend has more reasons than this for canceling his/her Christmas. It could be that your friend is suffering a severe depression and doesn't want any signs of merriment around or doesn't want the bother of preparation.
If you're a praying person, I'd suggest that you pray for your friend and give support and encouragement in any way that you can.
2007-12-20 16:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by ck1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd probably try spending the holiday with the person who is dying and having that party with the dying relative. Even if it's in the hospital, at least the person dying will be with the people he/she loves. It's really sad but why should the celebration be cancelled. Spend the time with that family member who needs it most to be around loving relatives and friends.
2007-12-20 15:12:54 · answer #3 · answered by Teegan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does seem a little extreme to cancel Christmas. It is sad, and especially being the holidays, but they should continue on with the celebration for the dying family member. Make it a special Christmas for him/her. My mother died 10 days before Christmas several years ago, and we decorated her hospital room with a tree and had presents for her. It was very sad that year, but we celebrated because it was what she wanted for us.
2007-12-20 15:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by trcyddy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that seems a bit extreme to me. I mean -- just because someone is dying that doesn't mean you should not have any happiness at all. People die every day. We're all going to die. Should the world stop just because one of us dies? I mean - I could see an immediate family perhaps toning it down or not celebrating in order to concentrate on the ill family member. But a relative? I mean - I guess if they were super close. I just know that if I were dying I would NEVER expect or want others to set aside their own happiness and celebrations to be somber and watch my sorry *** die. How depressing is that? I love my family too much to do that to them. And I'd be upset if they did it.
2007-12-20 15:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by swordarkeereon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally would not cancel my Christmas plans at all. Instead, I would make sure that the dying relative was the center of the celebration. It may be their last Christmas with the family, so make it special.
2007-12-20 15:17:00 · answer #6 · answered by magix151 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is so true, on your part. My grandmother died last month, & my mom keeps saying that she doesn't want to have Christmas... At this, my brother & and I get very upset, because I'm still 13 & he's always loved Christmas, & he's 18. I honestly don't think it's fair... But if that family has children, then they definitely need to have Christmas for them. Anyway, good luck with that! Maybe the night before Christmas, you could bring them a mini-tree if they don't have a big one... And you could make them a meal and sing carols to them with the neighborhood. Best wishes, and Happy Holidays!
2007-12-20 17:52:45 · answer #7 · answered by LeightonR 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's their own personal choice to cancel Christmas due to a death in their family. I send my condolences to them. I have lost lots of family members and friends to cancer. So I understand them not wanting to celebrate this year. Christmas is about giving and spending time with loved ones, so aren't they really doing what we're all supposed to do this Christmas anyways?
2007-12-20 15:13:52 · answer #8 · answered by danielle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really sad but celebrating Christmas might help them with there grief and I'm sure the person with cancer would still want them to celebrate Christmas.
2007-12-20 15:34:46 · answer #9 · answered by ME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have instead made xmas about family surrounding their ill family member. You can always redefine the holiday to make it more about a circle of family love and support and the meals, etc. about celebrating their life while they are still alive and able to appreciate it.... instead of tossing out the baby (no Xmas pun intended) with the bathwater.Personally, I would have re- focused the holiday into something that celebrated both the birth of their prophet and the life of their loved one, but to each their own way of handling their grief and dealing with issues surrounding death.
2007-12-20 15:14:08 · answer #10 · answered by dedum 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋