Leaving my wife and kids?

Question

I want to leave my wife becasue she is verbally abuse sometimes like callign me stupid and talking to me is like talking to a person who is metally disabled. Since then step son has calle dme stupid when i made him breakfast and he didnt like it. I stay at home with the 3 kids all day. When she gets home she sits down on the computer usually for a while and then starts complaining that this isnt done and that isnt done. In the past 6 months i think she has gotten off her but to bath the kids once. I have to put them to bed everynight as one of our boys needs someone to lay down with him for a while. I make dinner about half of the time. When it comes to the weekend she sleeps till noon jsut in time to get up before kids go to nap time. Two of our boys are in diapers and she has changed one diaper in liek the past 2 months. I have talked to her and nothing changes. I am lost and i really want to mov closer to my dad who is getting older and sicker. I dont know what to do?

Answer 1

If you want to leave, go ahead. It's not like YOU are the one working. I'm sure if YOU worked and your wife did not, you would do the same to her. If you want to be treated like a man, act like one. What kind of example are you setting for your boys?

Edit: When did WOMEN become so stupid? Dare I say it, maybe some of you should be banned from the damn internet. Did you not notice this "man" saying HE DOES NOT WORK. Yet it's the woman's fault he's treated like the sissy (not a gay reference) he is?

Answer 2

WOW....
My suggestion would not be to leave, but to ask her what is bothering her??? Sounds to me like she is purposely doing these things because she thinks you owe her since she is working "outside" the home. Sounds like she comes home and expects to relax after working all day.....but when do you get a break from your 24/7 job!?!? Perhaps there is more going one here than what is obvious. Maybe she is depressed??
The easy answer would be to bail out and I understand how that must feel, but unfortunately, the right answer is to confront the problem and work through it with her. I say call your insurance and find a marriage counselor the two of you can go to. Set up the appointment and then bring everything up to her. Let her know how much you still love her and that instead of letting the situation get out of control where you would start making bad choices for the marriage, you love her and want to work past this.
Just remember that these types of issues arise in EVERY marriage at some point or another. Somewhere deep down is the love both of you had once upon a time though. Communication is your best tool but at this point it would be best to have a third party involved.
As far as your Dad goes, I don't have a solution to that but perhaps you could work something out to where you could visit him more often?? Just remember that your marriage is your future and your children's future and you really need to focus on that first. Maybe until things are worked out, just make sure to have plenty of phone contact with your father for now.
Blessings to you and your family......

Answer 3

Get a job and put the kids in daycare, otherwise I think she has a right to mention when things around the house are not done. However, I do think you should tell her how you feel first, and see if she wont start helping you out more. You have to also look into the fact that you have kids and they may be hurt by your actions. Unless of course they are not biologically yours. Talk to her about moving as well, or moving your dad closer to you. Good luck in your decision. Dont be a door matt, make her understand where you are coming from, and then make a decision about getting a job or something to put you two on a more equal level. Then she cant ***** as much.

Answer 4

You say your home life with your wife is terrible and you are both always constantly arguing.....Are you adding to this problem because you want out and it appears easier to leave if you are arguing all the time....just think about that. I also believe that before you decide to end your marriage you should try to repair it first...give your wife and family a chance. Take your wife away for the weekend and try to reconnect both emotionally and physically Also think about this....you say sex is a big part of this new relationship with this other woman.Well im sure you are well aware that the excitement of this sex will fade in the future and is it really worth breaking up your family just for sex. Even though you plan to move around the courner and you can still see your children, think out all the daily stuff you are going to miss out on .....that's a sad thought. And this other woman doesn't sound like a good person, she is taking a father and a husband away from his family by opening her legs. Shame on her. PLEASE GIVE YOUR FAMILY A CHANCE.

Answer 5

Wow from reading everything it appears that what you have is truly a mess. I would ask myself this question Are things going to change or get better? The only way to find this out is to sit down and have a civilized conversation with your wife. Then ask her if she and you both would welcome the idea of marriage counseling? If the answer to both of these questions is no, then you should consult an attorney to give you professional advice. Then after that if you see no end in sight you must make a hard decision for yourself. You can either stay or you can take the high road out and just leave. One thing you must remember is that someone is going to have to show responsibility for the children. If you decide to leave, do it in when she least expects it, just take the clothes you have on your back and leave and move closer to your father.

Answer 6

Now you know why women complain that they are unappreciated. Get your **** together. You are the stay at home parent, so do the stay at home work. If you grow a little backbone, you will also help your cause. Sit down with your wife to discuss your concerns about her behavior after work. Remember, you are at home, so most of the home work will fall to you. If you don't like it, hire a nanny/housekeeper, and get yourself a job and bring home half the bacon. Your kids sound like brats. No child should need someone to lie with them to fall asleep. And lip from any child is unacceptable always. This behavior is going on because you and your wife are not disciplining as a unit, so the kids know it is divide and conquer. Your major problem is your marital situation, and once you get that together, your child rearing should fall into place. As for your father, he can come closer to you, or go into a home. You can't look after your kids, I don't think you will be able to deal with a dying person who will only need more help, not less. ( I know, my mom lives with us, but I don't have small children) Don't desert your kids, get your act together! Your kids need you. Stop running away from your problems and responsibilities

Answer 7

She sounds mentally ill. Addicted to the internet and not taking care of her kids. Verbally abusive and teaching children to do the same. Not good man.

I think you should at least seperate, go spend time with your dad and see how it goes.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if that time on the internet is spent having an emotional affair with some guy who seems 'perfect' in emails and Instant Messages, and then compares you to this ideal and abuses you when you don't measure up.

She needs a dose of reality and/or some counseling. You might want to get some counseling too to deal with the transition and why you put up with the abuse and ended up with someone like her in the first place. I'm not judging your or putting you down, it happens to lots of people, but counseling might help you through this and help you not make the same mistake later.

Good luck to you and those kids :(

Answer 8

Look, you need to tell all of this to a good lawyer. All the details. If you have friends who can back you up, use them too. She sounds like a very bitter and lazy person but remember that it is always the kids who really suffer at these times. Do not ignore your role in their lives and what it will be like for them without you there for them. As for the son who called you stupid, he is getting that from the mother..... do not tolerate her saying things and put her in her place....verbally ! You do have rights. Good luck!

Answer 9

I agree with casapull.... but probably not for the same reasons!

Let me get this straight, ok? You have no job, right?

You have nothing to do but stay at home with the kids, right?

Friend you need to suck it up, shut the *** up and count your blessings! Your wife is willing to go out into the word and work, which seems to be more than you are willing to do.

You are in the role of a stay at home dad! That's what they do! Take care of the house and the kids, and cook and clean! If you don't like it then you need to get your sorry azz out and look for a job!

Answer 10

This is exactly how millions of wives feel about their husbands. "He goes out to work, does little in the house and leaves all childcare responsibilities to me". Welcome to the world of stay at home wives and mothers.
I will give you the same advice I would give a woman....First let the kids know who is BOSS. zero tolerance when it comes to discipline. If one of mine had spoken to me like that they would have had a mouthfull of soap!
Tell your wife exactly how you feel, that changes have to be made or you will consider leaving. Ask for at least 2 evenings a week where she cooks, tidies up and sees to the children. At weekend she has a lie in one day you have the next. When it is your free time get out of the house, do something just for you. Join some "toddlers" clubs where you will meet others in your situation. Hope this helps, Good luck x

Answer 11

Well, if you get custody of children then the children may not suffer as much through a divorce, but are you sure you will get the children? You don't want ot leave them with her, she has no clue what to do. Going through a divorce is very painful for everyone especially kids so it is worth dealing with your wife's beahvior but at the same time constantly telling her to change her attitude than to go through a divorce.

It sounds tough but have you talked to her about it. Give her an ultimatum.

You should also punish your child for disrespecting you. No matter who says what to you your child needs to learn self control and not call people names. My son gets punished and he was only three and started getting punished for verbal insults.

The funny thing is you now know how many women feel, many men act just like she does.

Good Luck and I commend you for being such a great Daddy.


PS Could it be that she has resentment towards you for falling in love with another woman?