I am 23 and single. I've never had a relationship, or any close female friends who like to show affection.
Yet I crave affection, especially from members of the opposite sex. I'd love nothing more than to have someone to cuddle and watch movies with.
I've been feeling very lonely, and wonder why it is I seem to have this need for affection.
You'd think it would be easy to find a female friend to cuddle with, or a girlfriend to go out with. But I'm not the best looking guy, lacking confidence and experience.
I was born prematurely, so I was wondering if that has something to do with it. But no other guy I've ever known craves affection as much as I do. Maybe it has something to do with never having any affection?
2007-12-20 07:01:55 · 14 answers · asked by IrishFan2011 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Physical touch is what I am referring to. Just the physical touch of a woman. Not just sex.
2007-12-20 07:03:11 · update #1
You are not odd at all. All guys like affection but dont show it because they have been brought up to think it is weakness. So they pretend to be strong and have no emotions which cant be farther from the truth. Society doesnt help either: playa kind of things. Goodluck finding an affectionate woman.
2007-12-20 07:19:46 · answer #1 · answered by cat-octavius 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That's not abnormal, and I'd be willing to bet that plenty of other guys your age crave affection as much as you do. Maybe not the specific guys you hang out with (or maybe they just don't admit it), but most people crave affection. If that weren't a natural instinct, you wouldn't see so many people dating. Dating and relationships are both hard work, and statistically speaking are likely to end in heart-break - so no one would engage in those activities if they didn't have a very strong urge to do so.
It's hard to get girls to like you without confidence - confidence is extremely important. You need to take some time to find out exactly who you are, what you want to do etc. You need to find something that you can excel in and enjoy so that you have passions and interests in your life other than finding a girlfriend. That should bolster your confidence and help you find a meaningful relationship. However, it will never be easy - dating and finding someone to have a GOOD relationship with is never easy, no matter who you are.
2007-12-20 07:24:11 · answer #2 · answered by rude unfeeling b*tch 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just want to add. You mention that no other guys seem to crave affection as much as you do. This is not true. A think a lot of other guys hide the fact that they crave affection. But they want/need it just as much. I'm sure there are some guys that don't, but the majority need someone next to them too and just don't admit it.
Don't feel odd that you crave affection. I think you should feel more concerned if you didn't.
It will happen. :)
2007-12-20 07:14:39 · answer #3 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
That's not uncommon at all. Granted that's not MOST guys.. but that doesn't mean it's not uncommon. And even still.. most men crave that type of stuff from time to time. Now... have you looked at some of the people who date super models? They are ugly as dirt a lot of the time!! why? because they have something else to offer! Looks are nice.. but not everyone is looking for looks! you just have to find someone who is looking for what you have to offer. And heck! Even if you are the ugliest guy on Earth and you can't find a single woman who isn't all about the looks.. there still has to be an ugliest girl in the same boat! What I'm saying is.. if you don't have a girlfriend.. it's probably because you aren't allowing yourself to have one on a subconscious level. Just go out and have fun for you and the rest will work itself out.
2007-12-20 07:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by pip 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO, men need physical contact just as much as women, they need to know that someone cares about them. They need to know that they matter to someone and not just for sex. The human need for touch is not gender specific, it's human specific!!! Don't worry about it the need it's a human trait that we all share!!! Yes if you've never really had the physical contact that you needed when you were young it does not go away. I know as I was also premature and born with a rare blood disorder and a dislocation of my hip which meant a lot of time in hospitals and surgeries. 50+ years ago they weren't as determine to make sure that babies got all of the cuddling that they needed while in the hospital in fact they would do surgery on babies with out anesthetic because they didn't think babies felt pain the way that we adults do. So I know what it's like not to have your emotional needs met, I wonder some times if that's why I've had to deal with depression since the age of 9. Get help for your depression and when you begin to feel better the other issues will start to take care of themselves.
2007-12-20 07:22:56 · answer #5 · answered by Kathryn R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most if not all human beings crave affection. If you didn't receive much that would probably make it more so for you. Just because you're male has nothing to do with it, I have guy friends, one in particular, that enjoy affection as much, if not more, than my female friends (and I don't mean sexually either lol).
2007-12-20 07:06:42 · answer #6 · answered by me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your need for affection is not at all unusual. It is a socially created notion that males do not need as much affection as females. We are all human and in need of the same things: food, water, shelter, love. Of course everyone has varying degrees of need, but this is not necessarily related to gender.
Good luck. I am sure you will find someone sooner or later. I know it is hard to remain patient until she comes along, but that's all you can do. It certainly never works to force love.
2007-12-20 07:19:36 · answer #7 · answered by Ignatius J. Reilly 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you are not the only one out there...if you lacked that attention as a child you now have a strong need for it as an adult
it is not odd at all that you crave this attention as a guy the only reason that people might see it as odd is that most guys seem to lack those emotions because of the way they were raised that real men dont show emotion
2007-12-20 07:07:57 · answer #8 · answered by little78lucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi friend,
Just keep looking and you will find a woman who is looking for the same thing. You are perfectly normal, (maybe even better than normal). Don't let yourself get down, you seem like a good guy. Best of luck!!
2007-12-20 07:14:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see it odd at all. Everyone wants affection from someone that cares for them. Being born prematurely shouldn't have anything to do with it, you're just lonely Hun. Everyone gets that way. My 27 y/o brother is "not dating" this psycho that our cousin fixed him up with and right now he just wants to screw around, and have someone to be with. 4 years ago his fiance cheated on him 4 months before the wedding and it just screwed with his head. He is like you, he just wants someone to be with.
2007-12-20 07:09:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋