and both parties then marry another it will last more yrs. It is strange in some kind of way. The 1st time around it seams if they make it more than 10 yrs it is remarkable let alone 30 or even lord be with them 40yrs. Young couples just don't stay hitched more than say 10 yrs the 1st time out yet they remarry and it last for the most part a life time why is that. They still have kids and all, they have to deal with the X's , Why if the 2nd time can work couldn't the 1st time around?
2007-12-20 06:57:46 · 25 answers · asked by Yogi 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've said it before...
...because they don't marry the right person, wait for the right time or marry for the right reasons.
2007-12-20 06:59:57 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 7 · 9⤊ 1⤋
it's a proven fact with regard to statistics that the second marriage is shorter than the first, and the third marriage is even shorter than the second marriage. The reason people can't stay together these days is there is "equality" of the sexes or hopes for equality, there are more children born with physical problems (things couples never expected), both parents were spoiled before they went into the marriage and don't know how to do teamwork or how to scrimp and save for something they want together, they don't have the tolerance those couples who stayed together over 50 years had, people today pick at flaws in each other instead of accepting that each is a human being, couples today choose strangers as their mate rather than knowing them for a few years or having grown up with the other person as their neighbor and knowing them well, people make the mistake of living together and even having children before there is any commitment, people get married and have children even before they have their education in and have a career and income, etc.
2007-12-20 15:04:49 · answer #2 · answered by sophieb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually i recently read an article that said the opposite.
(of course any study usually ends up proving whatever the person doing it set out to prove..but i digress..lol)
It would be interesting to see some good solid statistics on that.
My grandparents (both sets) married young and never divorced. Then again they were both Catholic...so...I don't know.
There are a lot of factors to consider I think. Culture, generational things, etc.
I think we learn a lot as we get older. Plus I imagine that first divorce was very painful and/or very expensive! lol so maybe the 2nd time around they just don't have the energy to get divorced so they just cheat instead, lol.
I have no idea what my point was...
2007-12-20 15:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by Peace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of times, in the first marriage, people burn too many bridges with their spouse to be able to work it out in the end. They kill it with mistakes. The second time around, they have learned from their mistakes hopefully, and will be a little kinder and more compassionate toward one another. They also, hopefully, have grown and matured enough that they understand themselves a bit better and therefore pick someone more compatible with who they are.
Too many people go running full-force toward "Forever" and then, once they are standing there in their tux and gown, they have no clue what's next.
2007-12-20 15:04:18 · answer #4 · answered by Melanie T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually people get married too young. They end up taking more than they give. Usually the second time through they learn to give a little more than take. However, the divorce rate is usually higher for 2nd and 3rd marriages.
2007-12-20 15:02:32 · answer #5 · answered by Tough Guy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that people are in too big of a rush to just get married, for all of the wrong reasons and it just doesn't work. Also, I would imagine by the 2nd marriage people are much more mature, have lived life lessons, more settled, and know what they are truly looking for.
2007-12-20 15:04:38 · answer #6 · answered by lhubbs80 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People get married for all the wrong reasons, girl got pregnant, I don't want to be alone..whatever the reason. I think people learn what they did wrong the 1st time and what they really want for the 2nd marriage.
2007-12-20 16:34:11 · answer #7 · answered by PurplePeace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually statics are that the second time around is more doomed to fail than the first. But when it does work, as in my and my husbands case, I think you look for different more meaningful things in a relationship. I think the first time you are usually young and overlook major differences and dis-functions in a person. The second time you are usually older and look for more meaningful characteristics in a person.
2007-12-20 15:06:51 · answer #8 · answered by curlysue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my case? Because I sought conseling for old issues before entering into a new relationship, then marriage. My second husband did the same thing. You have made a generalization in you premise - I see many more "serial marriers" because people always blame the past partner and keep searching for someone to make it right..BIG mistake!
2007-12-20 15:02:27 · answer #9 · answered by that judi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband got married young and it turned out the girl was cheating on him like crazy. they split and thank god they don't have kids!! after they had bin divorced we got together and got married. he said he learned a lot from the last one and knows he made mistakes but he said he won't repeat them twice. I think they see the mistakes from the first one and don't make them the second time around. But I couldn't be happier
2007-12-20 15:05:17 · answer #10 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely screwed up my first marriage..I was 19 yrs old. When I say screw it up, I mean it....Got divorced and at age 30 remarried,,,,Sometimes my wife talks to my ex and she always get "I don't even recognize who he is!"..You learn from your mistakes,,you grow and you get wiser. I'm in a very happy relationship,,,but I'm afraid my ex wife had to pay for it. She is also happily married,,so the story, at least with me, ends well,,,,
2007-12-20 15:04:34 · answer #11 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋