My friend came by last night and said she needed to talk to someone. When she was 18 (she's 27 now) she drank with some childhood friends of ours..that we GREW UP WITH!! We all hung out at school and practically like brother and sisters! Anyway, She said she went to sleep or passed out and she woke up with her pants down. She said she freaked out and started crying. The messed up part.....she was alone with her now husband alone then! She had a dream that her husband was raping her!! I am shocked!! I don't know what to say to her?? They have 3 kids now. She never told me this and I am very PISSED!! These guys were like family!! What should I telll her?? PLEASE help!!!
2007-12-20 06:41:37 · 11 answers · asked by Angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well, I'm not sure you can really do anything about the incident itself at this point. If you are still very good friends with these guys and you see them often, she could try to bring the subject up. It should be a situation where there aren't any outsiders around so that you can talk about it like a family. There is a slight chance that some of the guys will confess to doing something. That is rather doubtful though.
If you aren't seeing these people anymore, she can really just get some therapy to help her get through the situation. The main goal should be for her to be able to live the rest of her life without carrying this around.
The most important thing is for you to realize that you have a very limited role. You can NOT confront any of these guys about this incident. You weren't there when she woke up, you found out about 9 years later, the ones you talk to may not have been involved and it really isn't your business to deal with this. You should support your friend but you can't fight this fight for her. Do NOT get in the middle of this issue.
2007-12-20 07:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she needs to talk to someone who knows more about cases like this. It has happened to many women. Her dream could be a memory that was hidden for one because of the years, the pain and shock, and the alcohol. Alcohol does distort you but it doesn't delete your memories, they're there some where which could be why she had a dream it could be her only memory.
She could be married to the man that stole so much from her. He ended up getting what he wanted in the first place.
Most women are raped by someone close to them. It makes it easy because the women hesitate to accuse them.
contact a rape crisis center, it depends on how far she wants to take it. There isn't proof only a memory at the moment...but be there for her she's going to need your help.
The site below is where you can find a location in your area.
2007-12-20 15:00:00 · answer #2 · answered by buffrxinfo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, don't be mad at her, because she's obviously already going through a stressful period...
And the husband raping her part....
it was just a dream. maybe a sign, but you cant be 100% positive about that...
She should move on, unless he's abusing her now or used the rape as an excuse to marry her...
But there's nothing you can really do right now.
unless your friend and her husband are having problems, just move on and accept the past.
2007-12-20 14:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by whatever21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like an issue that she has to work out with her husband. It probably did happen like that. If he's a jerk, than she's better off without him, kids or not. If he's willing to face up to what he did and apologize for it, than they'll be better off because now the healing can begin and their love can be stronger. Maybe the guy doesn't even remember doing it because he was drunk as well and she was his girlfriend. Best wishes.
2007-12-20 14:49:56 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should get councelling quick, because if this is true and not a cry for help she may suffer with skitzophrinia and can take over the mind, if she is having these dreams to her ina few month she will see her husband as a threat- she needs to tell her husband and get councelling
2007-12-20 14:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by Hannah C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u should tell her to ask him does he know anything about her situation. tell her that its better to ask than to be left not knowing if she was raped by her husband.....though this would be alot easier if she would have told someone when it happened.And u know what...dont stress over it. try to help the situation not solve it and hope for the best.
2007-12-20 14:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OHHHHHH my god i feel so bad for her tell her i am sooooo sorry but if i was in her position GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE nobody should even be near that basterd cerial rapist
first get a restraining order then move tell her to GET OUT NOW!!!! if she suspects rape then she should get out
2007-12-20 14:47:53 · answer #7 · answered by skiingmonkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rape is really a big deal....if its eatin her up inside about what happened, then she should talk to her husband....its a really hard spot to be in because she married him and has 3 kids....if its really bothering theres always counseling...if he fesses up to it!!!
2007-12-20 14:56:41 · answer #8 · answered by Rican 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unbelievable!!!
2007-12-20 14:52:33 · answer #9 · answered by Michel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! this is serious. Anyway why would she tell you this now? Tell her to confront her husband!
2007-12-20 14:45:46 · answer #10 · answered by efwisocap 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋