how should i handle the rejection im facing without getting angry ?

Question

im a 30 year old borderline personality disorder sufferer whos never made any friends in life, ever....never been in a relationship, ever....never gained qualifications....i live in a one bedroomed flat on sickness benifits........own no posessions except an old dusty computer....thats making funny humming noizes.

ive had the internet for 2 years...its been my only contact with the outside world since i dont go out because i struggle with rage and aggression and controling it....plus i have extreme anxiety and panic...and i isolate myself.

in my life ive been bullied, sexually abused...assaulted attacked and victimized.
recentley most of the contacts i made through Y/A that ive added to messenger have all stopped talking or contacting me and they appear permenantly offline..

they happen to be white u.s women.

im so utterley angry about this, i feel ostracized, lonely, rejected..
i cant bare to see other people happy or grinning or enjoying their lives when im not & never have.

what should i do ?

i want to be liked, loved and accepted...but its never happened and i get rejected everytime.............everyTIME !

im 30 and have prematurley aged to.. have 2 missing teeth....torn ankle ligaments

Answer 1

Fantome- you expect too much from people online. They are not your friends. People answer questions and don't mind helping people out with SOME emotional support but it never ends with you because you are not doing anything to overcome your problems. Going over and over these thoughts is just firing you up and that's not helping you.
Maybe you could use this forum as a progress diary and let people look in on you from time to time to see how you are improving?
Understand - nobody is obliged to like you, love or help you.
If they do then you are lucky in that instance but don't keep expecting people to take on your problems. I get so tired of reading your lines and seeing you do nothing to get better and I am certain others feel the same. Your problems are your problems and you need to accept that. You are not a little boy who needs taking care of. You are a mature man and you have to accept that and grow up - taking on the responsibility of your own life yourself. Trust me when you commit to your own mental health and do something constructive and then make progress - you will feel better about yourself and then others will do the same.

Answer 2

You sound like somebody I know. You need to get a life. I don't mean this in a mean way. You are angry because of the people who bullied you. You need to realize that those peope where probably abused at home. They didn't know how to handle it so they took it out on you because they could. I would start by getting your teeth fixed so that you can begin to get some good self esteem going on. Let the past be the past. Try to get out and find some kind of hobby and meet people. The reason you can't keep friends is because you are angry and clingy. Girls are able to pick up on self confidence. So hold your head up and be proud. You will be one hell of faithful loving mate once you get the chance. Don't wallow in self pitty. The more you do the further in it you will become buried.

Answer 3

It is not possible for someone to give you happiness.You must generate happiness from within yourself.If you sat on the moon how small would your problems look from up there.Barely visible if at all.But your mind will still be there reminding you of everything.The unrealistic way we tend to look at life is what causes our problems.Be happy and approach others without expectations.If you approach others with sadness then you remind them of sadness,with anger you remind them of anger,with doubts then you make them doubt.Its not easy but if you live life as a normal everyday person others will eventually see you as a normal person.Don't remind people of whats wrong remind them of a friendly spirited inspired person who turns lemon into lemonade.We first crawl then walk then run.Set yourself realistic small goals and draw your inspiration from there.What we see in life`s mirror is who we are,change what you see in that mirror and the rest will follow.God bless.Look at lovespace,even though she has a lot if pain nothing gets her depressed or down.Set your mind free.

Answer 4

i know it may sound harsh but you gotta stop feeling like a victim. life is what you make it, and having and keeping friends takes a lot of time and effort. you have got to try and get some positivity in your mind and make a strong decision to make others feel special.
you must also remember people can sometimes have a lot going on in their own lives and sometimes forget about others, don't take it so personally.
try your best to get out, join a club, go for coffee, it will help.
a Buddhist saying i very much like and use often to keep my own anger at bay is;
if something can be remedied why get angry about it, and if something cannot be remedied why get angry. anger doesn't solve our problems it only makes them worse.
good luck!x

Answer 5

I answered your other question recently I think.

Its not going to be easy, as there seems to be lots of things you're suffering with right now from what you say but all you or anyone can do is one thing at a time.

Thats what I'd do,it Is what I do when things build up.

Start with one thing,like sorting out the torn ligaments..

There is plenty of help for anxiety and panic, not easy but it is there.

Make it your goal to ry to address One issue this week if u can.

Good luck man

Answer 6

You really make a meal of this, your situation, don't you, you dine out on it often enough - seeking sympathy which does you no good at all ...after all, you can't eat it and it has a short shelf life, so you can't store it away.

Anyway, why change it, your situation, it's nice and safe in there where you are. Safer than out here because the world you have created for yourself is so cosy, where you can exists within the boundaries of it and play it for all it's worth - with the occasional foray outside (in safety) for a little tea and sympathy.

0h, and its NOT advice you want as to these 'problems' you present here, they are just a tool for your dinning experience. You seek advice without any intention of following it, but seek it because it helps you practice your martial art of combating it.

It is just self serving.

Having said all of that, I'm not calling you a liar, I don't doubt your problems are real, but I do doubt your desire ro do anything about any of them at all. You won't 'work towards change, you want change to be handed to you' - and that isn't likely to happen, and even if it did, you wouldn't value it because 'IT COSTS YOU NOTHING.'

If you want change, then make it happen - through working for it.

Sincerely.
Sash..

Answer 7

Just accept you're not the sort of person who makes friends. Why do want them anyway? Do you honestly like people that much? Just get on with things you do enjoy. Find an interest. Doesn't matter what as long as its something you enjoy. Then when you're so busy getting on with your life, you might just find people are friendlier.

Answer 8

You need professional help man. You're driving people away by your angry and jealous attitude to life. No-one can help you if you won't at least try to help yourself. You need to get off your backside and start to do things to make your life better - there are places you can go to get stuff free for your flat - decent stuff at that. Being jealous will only make you bitter and on your own for even longer. You've had some good advice in past questions you've asked - why not try taking some of that advice and using it xxxx

Answer 9

Life is full of rejection of one kind or another, if I got angry at everyone of them I would be mad all the time. You live life as it comes or you give up, there is no sidelines.

Answer 10

This is the place for you.