I'm 20 and have never dated. I dont have many friends at all really. I do well in school and everyone tells me I'm doing great, but school is my whole life. The future makes me nervous? Am I always going to be this way? I'm very focused on my career (becoming a lawyer) but I'm worried that all life has for me is work, and then I'll die. Help?
2007-12-20 06:37:09 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm shy and don't seem to fit in anywhere.
2007-12-20 06:37:34 · update #1
Join a volunteer group. . take some of the focus off of yourself.
or go talk to a life coach or an emotional counselor.
get some professional help.
or join some kind of young adult support group, Good luck
2007-12-20 06:40:28 · answer #1 · answered by smurfee68 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sort of relate to you, except I am younger then you :)
First, Business is Law is generally a serious job, although plenty can be the life of the party, and very outgoing.
School won't be your "whole life" forever. Once you graduate and get your degree, you'll be busy with law practices. And once you're a lawyer, everyone wants you ;)
But part of it is, you need to make sure that work doesnt consume your whole life. Perhaps you need to add a night of clubbing with some friends (even the married ones, if they an keep their hands to themselves. otherwise, they can bring their partner) on the weekend, and use that as a way to socialize, and meet other people. Even the shyest of people will open up envetually, though it may take 2 or 3 nights before you are comfortable. You'll be more comfortable if you bring a friend who will let you hang on them the night if you don't find anyone to entertain you. Since you can't drink legally, you shouldn't be worried about getting drunk and being stupid.
xD
Work wont be your whole life forever, sweety. I hope things look up for you.
2007-12-20 06:44:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things are not all bad.Get out more, and get away from studies awhile. If you are doing so
well, then a little time away is not going to hurt. Then, you may meet some people you like. Don't be shy, talk to people. You will find that some are as shy as you. And once you get started, you will never slow down. When you are a Lawyer, then you can meet a lot of people. Some you may not want to associate with but, what the heck. good luck and Merry Christmas.
2007-12-20 06:47:34 · answer #3 · answered by mtchndjnmtch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are a Meyers-Briggs INTJ like me. I am lucky because as a female, I never had to ask anyone out on a date. If I had to ask someone, I would still be single, LOL. All of my friends and also my husband had to be the ones to make friends with me, not the other way around. Sometimes I made it hard for them. But I like people, and I am a good friend once you get past the icy exterior.
If you are a guy, you will have it harder, because people will expect you to be the one to make the first moves. But, this is not impossible. I had to learn it, because it was not natural for me. Smile. Say "Hi!" Introduce yourself. Assume other people will like you (this is a hard one) and guess what...they WILL like you. Keep smiling and saying hi. Then, ask people questions about themselves. Look interested. Remember what they said. As an INTJ, you are smart, and you can file away lots of info in your brain. Then, next time you see them, recall some fact about the person and ask them about it. Finally, ask someone to accompany you to some activity. Lunch is good. The library is good. Join a group like a club such as music, chess, or something.
You can do this. You can succeed, just treat friendships as you would treat a subject in school. It takes work.
I know, and I am a doctor. I have overcome this in my life, and so can you.
2007-12-20 06:46:43 · answer #4 · answered by greengo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now you being focused on school is wonderful !
Just loosen up a bit.. Try going to a random place now and then.. Get a MYSPACE.. and join some type of club at school..
Clubs always lead you to meeting people..
There are tons of people who are just like you out there..
if you think you study to much join a study group.. that way you can study with others....
Don't give up..
work is just one small part to what you'll discover in life..
THERE IS MORE.. [it just might take some time to find it]
good luck and tell me how everthing works out..
broken_and_underconstruction@yahoo.com
2007-12-20 06:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a normal human being...don't ever think you are not normal. And it is true you are doing great...now what you need to do is just go out to the world and find somebody who you have something in common with..like for exampl... how about another law student and start out from there. And good job on you focusing on your career. Nothing wrong with that..just make sure you also have a social life.
2007-12-20 06:43:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are normal.
Some people are social and get along easily with people and make friends easily.
For others it does not come naturally and we have to really work and forming and maintaining lasting relationships.
My advice would be to stay open-minded. If someone seems interesting to you then start conversations. If another person approaches you talk politely and friendly.
You never know what is out there unless you try.
Try writing in a journal, this will help your depressed feelings.
Best of Luck to You.
2007-12-20 06:42:44 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have not accepted your greater purpose. We all have a greater purpose we just have to find it and embrace it. Love will come when it is meant to come. Don't rush it, concentrate on graduating. For now take comfort in the fact you are taking charge of your future. Fix yourself up, do something different with your hair, spruce up your wardrobe, change your makeup or start wearing some, join a gym. Exercise always relieves stress and depression and you will start looking better too which is always a plus. Become comfortable with who you are inside and out. Just one more suggestion go to Church this Sunday, never know might cheer you up.
2007-12-20 06:48:00 · answer #8 · answered by Holy Believer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry so much .As you get older things get better . Take me for example. I was sooooo shy growing up that I could be in a room full of people and they would for get I was even there. They'd say, so and so when did u get here? Just noticing I was there after I had been there for hours. Iike you I was very shy.I still am but no were as bad as I use to be.Now I talk to everyone that will listen to what I have to say! Ya can't shut me up sometimes. Things will get better .They always do!: )
2007-12-20 07:17:51 · answer #9 · answered by Joy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone is shy to some capacity, you just have to make ur self more humble. Be friendly, keep in mind that working hard is ok but you need to have a social life. Know when to stop and say eneough is enough i need some fun. Approach people with humor or even small talk until ur comfortable with them. dont worry we all have some phase in lyfe that we must go through. most importantly be ur self. u will be fine
2007-12-20 06:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by yayohelpme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hardest thing to do is the smartest. Stay active and get envolved. Join a club. Help out at a charity. Go to church and get involved. Church is great for depression even if you don't believe. Go for walks. Sunlight really does have a positive medical effect on the body. Exercise does help depression.
2007-12-20 06:40:39 · answer #11 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋