how do you divorce when you still love?

Question

How do you divorce from an unhealthy relationship when you are still so in love with your husband. He cheated on me a year ago and we worked through that but he has this cyber sex addiction and i consider that cheating as well. He wont stop he even did it while i was in labor with out daughter...do i just reserve myself to live with this or do i leave? the problem is i feel like he is looking to cheat again...But he is such a good husband in every other way and an amazing father to our 4month old....i don't know what to do. I just told him i was done with him but i don't think i want to go through with it. I don't know if i can....i don't know what to do, i wish he would just stop, and fight for me and our daughter...but i can't make him change...any advise would be great

Answer 1

This is a though one because is a huge decision,,but let me paste something you just wrote:

"But he is such a good husband in every other way and an amazing father to our 4month old."

Don't you think then it's worth sticking around and going through counseling about this.
Don't jump the gun yet,,,don't throw in the towel,,,Focus on getting your marriage healthy again,,,,Sometimes it only take one to tango,,,,,,you can make a difference,,,,good luck!

Answer 2

I guess you need to discuss this addiction with him. If he truly feels it is not cheating, then I would consider divorce. He may not be cheating on you physically but he is emotionally. Go talk to a divorce lawyer and find out your rights in your state. Then you will know how to better proceed. You do know that most times it doesn't end with cyber sex...it will escalate into meeting one of these women one day especially if he has cheated already. He may be cheating right now. Good luck. You deserve a husband and father to your child that respects and loves you. This guy doesn't.

Answer 3

You deserve better.
It's okay to still have love for him because he was/is your husband and you shared a lot of memories together including having children..
However, if he loved and respected you he never would have cheated on the first place. And, with his cyber sex addiction, it will only cause more drama and problems for you.. how selfish of him to be doing that while you're in labor.
Do you really think you and your child need to be around a man who views porn as more important then the birth of his daughter? You need to get out of this marriage, it's not healthy. If he's unwilling to seek help for his porn addiction and work on counseling for the marriage then you shouldn't put yourself through the pain and misery that he will cause you.
It's ok to still love him and that's normal..but you have to move on if he's not treating you right.

Answer 4

Love is a two way street dear. It's time to move on. We don't think we will survive, but it makes us stronger, and we do find love eventually. You can't make someone love you. And when you finally find true love, you will see where it was wrong with the others. You can do anything you put your mind to. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. You can remain friends! That is up to you. Never speak badly about him in front of your daughter, and never make her feel she has to make a decision of which one to side with. I would want nothing less for you then I would my daughters. And they have also been there! Good Luck! have a very Merry Christmas, and know someone out here truly cares.

Answer 5

he did what when you where in labor? if his crime is cyber sex stay with him if he is such a good man that you love I mean could be worse.
Remember one thing most people are good parents to a newborn they are so cute!
Anyway getting back to the story don't make any decisions now you are hormonal and you need help with that baby.
Wait one full year before you make a life changing decision.
Trust me

Good luck!

Answer 6

there comes a point in time that you are going to have to say "enough". you are the only one that can make you happy. obviously he has no caring for your feelings if he is still doing this and has no intentions of stopping. i don't know about you, but i don't consider that a good husband or father. it's up to you what to do, but i left my hubby for the same reasons. my child and i deserve better than him. i love him very much, he is still my hubby and the father of my children, but i will no longer let him run all over me.

Answer 7

if you are unsure about your marriage dont make any decisions..you dont want to do something that you will regret in the future, and also think about your child so, that will be hard on them not having a father figure in their life. i am not saying to stay with him but i am saying do not do anything unless you are sure of your decision.. if you show him enough love maybe he will eventually change. its your decision but make sure it is a stable and what you REALLY want. you did say for better or worse, and this is the worse but it can get better.

Good luck

Answer 8

You need to do what is right for you and your daughter. If he is not showing that he is willing to fight, then you need to move on. I understand that you love him, and you will always. But you do deserve to be happy. Also, it sounds like you are not going to be able to trust him, which is not a healthy for your relationship or you. You don't want him to bring anything home to you. Sorry to say, but I say leave him. You deserve better.

Answer 9

Forget about love. Cheating is about a lack of respect. He has no respect for you or he would not cheat. Do you really want to resign yourself to a life of loving someone who does not respect you?

A good marriage is based upon two best friends who trust, respect and love each other. He cannot be your best friend if he does not respect you.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 10

I think it's time for someone who is more suitable for a family life. He may be great in other ways, but this is nothing small. If your children every catch him doing that down the road, it will ruin their outlook on life and family. Move on.