Take your husband's last name?

Question

My boyfriend mentioned to me that when we get married he didn't expect me to take his last name because he felt that we were a modern couple and didn't need to follow those traditions of taking a last name. So I told him to take my last name--which he didn't like (so much for being modern!)

I just wanted people opinions and thoughts on taking your husbands last name (do you not care, are you for it, etc).

Thanks!

Answer 1

I'm married for the 3rd time, and I've always kept my own name. My mom and one of my grandmothers had also kept their maiden names after marriage, so you could say we have a "family history" of not following the tradition. There's no practical reason why spouses must have the same name - the reasons for the name change are mostly sentimental (wanting to become one, wanting to feel like a family, wanting to respect the tradition, etc). For me, the reasons for keeping my name are also sentimental - I like my name; it reflects my heritage; it's my father's and my grandfather's name, and these are both men I respect and admire. I'm proud of my name - and would never consider changing it. Nor would I expect my husband to change his - I expect him to also be proud of his name. At the end, I feel one's name is something very personal, and keeping or changing it is a personal choice.

Answer 2

I don't care what these other people say. I didn't take my husband's last name, and we are 100% happy. He doesn't care at all. He's not some caveman that feels he has to be in control of me. To imply that I don't love my husband or respect him just because I have my own name is insulting and untruthful.

As for having kids, we aren't going to have any. However, I have friends who didn't take their husband's names and their kids have different names, and it's NOT a problem at all. The kids aren't confused, and the schools have records you know. Really, how dumb do you have to be if you can't understand that parents and kids can have different last names?

Answer 3

I would not say its modern or not, but I would not feel as much like a family if we didn't have the same last name. i took my husbands, but if it would have been the other way around.... i would not have cared.

i would think some of the problems would come in when couples have kids... who's name do they take??? so as long as all this is decided first i don't see the problem.

Answer 4

I kind of want to hyphenate just to pay respect to my father. Of course I think even though it would be hyphenated I would end up just signing and being called my husbands last name. I also want to use MY last name as a boys first name (if I ever have a son) so I don't know how weird it would be to have my son's first name as part of my hyphenated last name....REALLY, it's not a big deal to me. I would prefer to take it though.

Answer 5

The only reason you'd do it, is for the kids. This way you are all one family, with one name. If your name is important to you though and you don't want to part with it, your kids could I suppose have both names on the record, but technically they'd go by your husband's name.

Still don't see a problem if you explain to them the whole rational process. It is your choice.

Answer 6

I, personally, will not take my husbands last name. I've established my identity and don't feel that it's necessary to change my name.

I have a dentist that changes her name every time she gets married. It's changed 3 times in the last 10 years. Frankly, I think this is a little ridiculous, especially since it's also the name of her practice.

I, personally, will not take my husbands last name. I've established my identity and don't feel that it's necessary to change my name.

I have a dentist that changes her name every time she gets married. It's changed 3 times in the last 10 years. Frankly, I think this is a little ridiculous, especially since it's also the name of her practice.

To the gentleman that said a woman is supposed to join to her husband - The actual verse states: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." It sounds more like the husband is the one doing the joining.

Answer 7

I took my husband's last name, reluctantly. I liked my maiden name. After we got married, I didn't change my name til many months later. :-)

I work in a Drs. Office and more and more people nowadays do not change their last names once they get married. If I thought about it more I think I would have kept my maiden name.

I think its just less confusing too to have everyone in the household to have the same last name. If u decided to have a child whose last name would your child have?

Things like that is something to consider.

Answer 8

Marriages are never equal. Marriages worked in our parents and grandparents generations because the women were subservient and had no say in any matter and also if the did divorce they would never get re-married.
If thats your idea of a great marriage then so be it, but I despise it. I dont have a solution but I have more respect for a divorced independent women than a married domestic.
Taking the husbands name is being domestic.

Answer 9

I didn't take my husband's last name because everything for my school was registered in my maiden name. This is becoming more and more common amongst couples.

Answer 10

im not married, but when the time comes, im going to keep my last name. if it was really important to the guy that i take his last name, i guess i would have to do the whole double last name thing, even though that really bothers me. its just... im independent and its not like getting married means i need to change who i am, so i want to keep my name.