Should I back out or slow down my relationship with my Fiance' based on these red flags?

Question

1. Past addiction to Cocaine (23 years ago) but still has an addictive personality.
2. Recently (within the past 9 mo) addicted to frequenting Karaoke Bars. He loves to sing & drink.
3.He is still communicating with a woman he did booty calls with even when I asked him to stop.She lives hundreds of miles away right now.
4. Previously addicted to pornography(within the last year)
5. I found an email where he had been pimping himself on Craig's List to have sex with strange women before we met (a married one) & he did not tell me about it once we started our relationship.
6. Does NOT want to attend church AT ALL. I am thinking when I have a child I would like to attend church for the child.
7. He can't have sex with me & get satisfied unless he has constant serious sexual visual stimulation (i.e all the lights on & mirrors). I am sure this has to do with his past porn addiction. He can't just feel it. He has to see EVERYTHING. Sometimes I feel like he wants the porn shot & not me

Answer 1

1. I think you answered your own question by stating all that he has done in the past.
2. People never really change they just suppress their habits.
3. How could you ever be truly happy when you are worried about everything else when it comes to him.
4. Would you want a family member or even you own daughter to marry someone w/ this past.

Answer 2

i think of it quite is a call you need to make for your self. Strangers on the internet can't inform you to diminish back out of a relationship based on the guy's previous. None the fewer, i will handle each and every little thing you problem approximately... a million. The previous is the previous. in case you probably did no longer have a difficulty with the coke habit from an prolonged time in the past once you met, do no longer draw close it over his head NOW. 2. i do no longer think of desirous to pass to Karaoke bars would properly be construde as an habit. no count how in lots of situations he is going. He likes to have a solid time, enable this is. 3. Are you threatened by potential of somebody 1000's of miles away? they'd purely be buddies. enable him have buddies. i'm specific you have buddies who're male. 4. he's a guy. i'm specific he likes porn. It does no longer imply he's a undesirable guy purely because of the fact he likes porn. 5. He in all probability has a fetish the place he's aroused by potential of strangers or he grow to be stressful up for money. i think of he in all probability din't point out it using shame. I doubt you instructed him each and every ingredient of your lifestyles. 6. no longer all human beings has to worship interior a church. 7. you are able to attempt to thrill him and not be disillusioned by potential of what he likes. in case you adore him then you definately could do what it takes to verify he ispleased regardless of if it calls for mirrors and lighting fixtures fixtures. Makes movies or take photographs. make him happy, that's what you're meant to decide to do. you need to use that trait on your benefit.

Answer 3

Definitely. This guy sounds like a total fruitbag. Think of what life will be like in a few years: You're living in a run-down house because he uses all the money to drink and do drugs. He possibly hurts you because he finds no sexual satisfaction, yet he keeps you around because you cook and clean and provide a little something (plus, divorce is expensive). You have a small child who is cold at night or doesn't always have food because he squanders all of your money away. You know he cheats on you, but you feel powerless to stop him. Now really think about it; is that the type of life you want?

Answer 4

you dont trust him now and never will
why are you looking for things to back out of this relatioship over a cocain addiction 23 years ago get a grip you dont trust him so dont marry him its that simple.
find a man that loves the lord and that you can trust god will send him to you... throw him back in and put on a different type of bait and go fishing again. good luck

Answer 5

Wow! I definitely think that you should back out. I can't imagine a happy marriage for you with this guy. Even though these behaviors were in the past, it sounds like they are boiling right under the surface. Get out before getting out involves a divorce.

Answer 6

I'd call it off sweety.
I don't see where he had to tell you about the craigs list thing though that happened before you.

once one has a addictive personality it never goes away tell they do.

Answer 7

The guy has too many issues for me, that's for sure. If you can deal with 'em that's up to you...people with addictive personalities can be very tough to live with long term, because there's always something they are getting hooked on and having to get off of...

I wish you well, if you decide to hang in there.

Answer 8

Just go away. he obviously doesn't want to change. Frankly, I am shocked that it has taken you so long to wake up to his foolishness. Church alone would be a deal breaker as would each of the other things. All together, they scream RUN!!!!

Answer 9

I have a question for you..... If your very best friend, or your future daughter, came to you with the same scenerio and asked your advice, what would you tell her to do? Do that. That is where your true answer lies. Also ask yourself this question.... if these red flags don't give you cause to pause, what would?

Answer 10

If you read what you wrote, I hope you know the answer.

You need to establish some personal boundaries and live with them - you can't "fix" people no matter how hard you try.