Do most married couples share their money?

Question

So, I just answered this question about a stay at home mom worried about borrowing money from her husband to buy Christmas presents. Isn't this Strange? I've been married for 19 years and we have always shared our money as well as the bills. I can't even imagine a relationship being strong without sharing everything, thoughts, feelings, love, laughter, memories, fears, and even money. Marriage is a bond where two people come together. What's going on in the marriage world today that would keep couples from wanting that bond?

Answer 1

Personally speaking, we share finances and money. I think some of that ladies problem is dealing with lack of trust or selfishness is her relationship. I used to work with this lady at my previous job, her and her husband didn't share finances or money. What she had or bought, she had to pay for. What he had or bought, he had to pay for. I will never forget her telling me before going on maternity leave with her 1st child, that she was only taking the minimum of 6 weeks off because she couldn't afford it. She said that she was going to have to borrow money from her husband just to get by with. My jaw hit the floor. My thought was you are having HIS BABY. And you have to pay him money back?? I just think that people like that are just troubled. Makes no sense.

Answer 2

first of all i'm nt married but if i were going to be i would discuss our financial habits BEFORE we get married. i want someone that wants to set a budget, invest in retirement plan so we won't have to work forever, & still have money left over after we pay the bills to go out & do whatever we want. i do not want a stay at home wife. if she's my wife she has to work a ful time job & pay half the bills. its only fair since its a partnership. even if we had kids i still expect her to work. time are different. this isn't the 1950's anymore when the woman stays at home & cooks & cleans & etc. women today don't even want to do that even though the man works like crazy to support her. if we didn't agree on how to handle the finances that would be the deal breaker. i wouldn't get married to her even if i loved her. its only fair. life isn't just this free car u ride w/out consequences. reality is reality. everything costs money. even if u love the girl & all if u 2 don't agree on the finances there will be some hard feelings.

having said that when i get married i expect the money to be put in 2 seperate accts. 1 acct for our working capital & the other for our savings. there will be a 3rd acct for reitrement like a cd, mutual funds, savings bonds etc. if u trust the person enough to marry them u got to pool ur resources together but keep a watchful eye. never let the spouse spend money w/out permission. that's just respect.

Answer 3

I think what most people do financially is not what you should be asking, but instead, what works for you. I think many people (maybe even most) put money into a family account. But most people have no idea how much they are bringing in, how much they are spending, and how much they are wasting. While its not a bad idea to have a single joint account, there are other options. Personally, I can keep track of who spent on what much better if money and spending habits are separated. Whatever you choose, you (even if you have seperate accounts) is sit down and figure out how much money you have after taxes per week/two weeks. Then, figure out what your basic monthly expenses are. With what is left over, figure out how much you can afford to put into a 401K or IRA while also putting money in the bank account(s) to up your savings. If you are like most people, you may not have much money left to worry about after that. As far as discretionary spending, whether joint or separate, have a conversation about what you are both comfortable spending after you figure out the rest of your savings/spending list. Just make sure you are both honest, open, and on the same page financially!

Answer 4

The thing is maybe she doesnt work and is a stay at home mom. Some men do not believe in 50/50 they believe you get what you work for and some men dont believe that stay at home moms, work.
If she is married to a man who is like that, then it would be a big ordeal to ask for money to buy christmas presents.
Some men are just like that and some woman fall for a guy like that.
I believe as you should be able to share everything...money, thoughts, feelings, good times and bad. And not be afraid to talk to each other.

Answer 5

We have all our money go into one bucket. We have never had a problem. However, I have many friends who keep the money seperate.

Whatever works for your situation is best.

I will admit, I think that is is unfair to keep the money seperate and have one person feel like they have to "borrow" from the other. If you both pull your weight (even if you stay at home) - then the salary that comes in should belong to both partners equally.

Answer 6

There are a lot of irresponsible people getting married these days. In my first relationship, I had a shared account, what a nightmare. In my second, we had yours, mine and our. He still overdrafted my account a couple of times.

I find myself a very generous person, however, I also feel being responsible for the bills is more important.

Answer 7

My husband and I share our money. Since we both work hard, it makes sense to us. We do have a budget and get an 'allowance' to spend however we choose, but we share everything else. I think some people can't be trusted with money so that's why they have separate accounts and issues with money. Sounds to me like you're doing things right.

Answer 8

We have one account that we share. It has worked for us but we have similar ideas about how to spend money and a healthy relationship.

I never thought about not having a joint account and it seems strange to me that people do.

My in-laws both stash money in places that the other doesn't know about. I'm worried that if something were to happen to one of them, there would be accounts out there that no one knows about.

Answer 9

Okay, maybe I'm the wrong person to answer this because I've been married twice and wouldn't be called an unqualified success. Both my wives and I shared all our money. As in, we had all of our accounts in both names. Both paychecks were deposited in one checking account and we shared all financial issues. It was a great help when my first wife lapsed into a coma and then passed away, but led to huge problems when my second wife left me. Second wife stole all of our money and put it in her own account, although because she'd used the same bank, it was all traceable and subject to revocation and an even split at the time of the divorce. (At least that was the judgement, she still hasn't paid up ten years later.)
As to how happier times go. In both marriages, we had personal credit cards and could charge small amounts indiviudally, but would agree on any larger expenses or investments. We never had private accounts and never lent money to each other.

Answer 10

My wife and I share our money. Whats mine is hers and what's hers is hers...that's a joke before everyone gets riled up. I don't understand people that keep their money and split the bills up. I know a LOT of couples that do that. It seems like it becomes a "this is mine" attitude as they hold onto their money. To each his or her own. If it works and it makes you happy, great. My wife and I started out with hardly anything, so we just got used to putting it all together to pay the bills. Just makes sense to me. They are OUR bills.