I have a 9 year old daugter who is the oldest of 3 kids from different fathers with my babys mama. Born the summer before my senior year of high school. Now her mom and I have been on and off for the past 9 years. We were together for the past 2 years and engaged for 10 months waiting to get married. We moved in together with her son and my daughter. I wanted to make it work with her mainly so my daughter could have a good family and a healthy enviorment. Her mom has a habit of finding some of the biggest losers and going out with them, so i just couldnt watch her give my daughter a crappy father figure. I contracted Herpes that she got from her sons father.I accepted this entering the relationship ready to be with her for the rest of my life.She left and got her own apt.Three weeks later she was dating someone new. Now 3 months after she moved out she wants to get back together. Keep in mind my family hates her and she put me 20,000 in debt. I still care for her, just confused now.
2007-12-20 03:56:46 · 14 answers · asked by darkshnider42 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1....this lady is NOT for you, Hon....obvious
2....stay in your daughter's life for the rest of your life
3....continue the child support & visitation/custody...you sound like a good dad....make sure you have a court order decree outlining visitation, joint legal custody. You should have your daughter for periods of time, holidays, etc.
4....keep close tabs on your daughter's living situation....if at any time you feel your ex's life style is detrimental to your daughter, petition the court for physical custody...but make damn sure you have legitimate grounds for complaint/action.
Any step-father, short or long term, will never be a father figure to your daughter as long as you stay actively and positively involved in her life...be the the best Dad you can possibly be....and those other guys will be incidentals in her life. and hopefully you will find a great lady to share not only your life, but your daughter's as well....Good Luck.
2007-12-20 04:19:04 · answer #1 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just b/c you have a child with her doesn't mean your meant to be with her...she sounds really immature. You don't want your daughter to have her as a role model or whatever loser she is dating at the time to be around your daughter. How could she even be bringing these stranger men around her? How dangerous and stupid! Get that little girl out of the situation...it CAN be done. My brother got custody of his kid instead of the mom b/c her life was so unstable. If you have a stable job and place to stay then take her to court and get custody. Then find a NICE lady for yourself and for your daughter so that she can have a normal role model. Good luck to ya!
2007-12-20 04:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all do you just CARE for her or are you IN LOVE with her, because if you are not in love then why are you wasting your time. I have been in an on and off relationship with my baby daddy for 5 years and well I decided to move on and forget him and the main reason I was with him too was because of our baby, because I wanted her to have a dad. The thing is that you don't have to be with this woman to be a good father. If you think she's not fit enough to be a good mother, then get custody of your daughter. By what you wrote it seems that she is the only reason you are still with this woman and even though its great that you are thinking about your daughter, its not even good for her that she is going to see her parents on and off for the rest of her life. Forget this woman, stay in the life of your daughter and even though you care for her it seems like she doesn't care for you.
2007-12-20 04:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by evelyngrz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I intensely dislike (my mom mentioned do not use 'hate') the entire infant mama/infant daddy difficulty. this is rooted in irresponsibility and chaos mutually as a baby suffers. stay faraway from the entire mess! this is greater effectual to have no guy in any respect than man or woman who's constantly on the prowl for yet another infant mama to enhance his ego. And definite, that's the worst possibility of all, which you are going to advance into an added 'infant mama' to function to his chain, that's his existence's purpose.
2016-10-02 04:08:50 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should consider getting custody of your daughter. Sounds to me that your baby's momma is irresponsible and not sure what she wants. Children are the most important in any relationship. Especially their safety. As for the Herpes, many people go on to live normal lives with a special someone.
2007-12-20 04:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by blueeyes_unever_4get 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would up the ante of commitment, either this is going to be a marriage and do it right, or forget it. Your kids need role models. Start the relationship back at square one, and do not give her any more money until there is a committed relatinoship. It does sound on the outside like she is using you, so that is why I am suggesting this. I would put the entire marriage question in the site of God, so that she has more motivation(if she believes) to stay in a great marriage that is ordained by God. God Bless
2007-12-20 04:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by A 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
O boy! She is not right for you. You sound like a really kind person. Why don't you just take your child away from her because if your child stays in that life, she will have it hard. That is no life for the children to be living, especially when you want to be in your child's life. That is so sad. You don't need your ex, she sounds down right dirtty and nasty, and don't forget USED! Take your baby as it deserves a normal, cared-for life.
2007-12-20 04:05:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry sweety but this another disater ready to happen again! Please it sounds like your the one who's trying to make the wrong right with all the mess she's making she has to fix up her life not you just keep your daughter knowing you love and care about her not her mother and its not worth going into dept with someone like that everyone makes mistakes but im sure everyone doesn't want to be used like a dog and hurt and kicked in the but again you deserve better than this. good luck.
2007-12-20 04:04:47 · answer #8 · answered by bustnloose_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just not ment to be with each other.
Time to move on and raise that little girl of yours.
You don't want your daughter to grow up thinking this is how women treat themselves or the ones that love them.
2007-12-20 04:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by bren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you settle for this woman, you have hit rock bottom.
and marrying her so your daughter could have a good family, is a rediculous reason to marry the woman.
marry someone because you respect, love and trust them.
stop giving this hog things.. like money... take care of your daughter, instead.
you will ruin your life if you marry this ho.
2007-12-20 04:02:03 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋