My ex-fiance & I were together 4yrs. We had alot of love & affection for each other & for the most part got along well. The one major issue we had was his alcohol addiction & caused alot of arguments. It started getting worse at the end & after a very heated argument he walked. Its been two mths. He continued playing head games & gave me hope. About a mth ago he started seeing a married woman so I figured Id leave him alone (I still love him) so he could see that the grass is not always greener but, now I hear that as soon as this woman gets divorced she wants my ex to marry her. He has not said yes to her but, I am devestated. First of all, how can he be in-love with someone in a mth time where he would consider marriage especially with a woman who is cheating on her husband. Its obvious that he has an addiction so why would she want to jump from one marriage into one with an alcoholic. Can this possibly work out & could he still come to his senses & realize what he has given up?
2007-12-20 03:23:33 · 11 answers · asked by Mary B 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would ask you the same question. Why would YOU want to jump into a marriage with an alcoholic?
Or, for that matter, a man who plays head games?
She may be his rebound woman. She may not realize that he is an alcoholic. She may want to marry him, but who says that he wants to marry her? Maybe he's playing head games with her, too. You can't really know for sure because the information you heard is hearsay.
At this point, it's none of your business and I, for one, would be grateful that it's not! You said yourself that your relationship with him was growing worse. Do yourself a huge favor and let it die.
2007-12-20 03:30:54 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The question should be why would YOU want to have a relationship with an alcoholic... not why would the other woman want to jump from divorce into a marriage like that.
Hon, i'd suggest going to Alanon... it's a support group which is part of Alcoholics Anonymous, for those of us whose lives have been affected by an alcoholic.... you will find there are many others living the same sort of life you have.
I've had experience living with alcoholics (my family) and when i grew up i started drinking, as well... i quit, but i do consider myself to have an alcohol problem because my drinking caused problems with my family and others.
Your ex boyfriend, i hope, will never "come to his senses" and come back to you... that would be THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN TO YOU!
Avoid men who drink... there are many out there who don't.. You deserve to treat yourself much better than this...
hugs
2007-12-20 03:34:43 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all sweetie he needs to realize he has a problem. If he does not know he has one then there is no way he is going to realize what he has given up. Remember someone who is intoxicated can not think straight. So in all actuality HE HAS NO IDEA what he is doing!!! I think you did the right thing by letting him go. His alcohol abuse would have only made things worse in the long run especially if he did not want to do anything about it. I have a philosophy..."I will not help someone who does not want to help them self" now if you are trying and I see that you want to do better then we can work things out. I know your feelings are probably torn to pieces but just pray that he will get things together and come to his senses. Until then get yourself together be strong and guard your heart!!!!
2007-12-20 03:41:58 · answer #3 · answered by vonsmommie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a difficult one and only time will tell
Have you heard the not so nice expression ''the only way to get over is to get under'' thats exactley what hes doing is easier to get over someone with someone and im sure he will kid himself on he loves her for quite a while, seriousley he like the newness of being with her but hed need to be magic to put four years completley out his head!
Im really sorry for you I know how you feel but life just has to go on and things happen when least expected you never know whats round the corner dont bet on it but he'll be back it will take longer thatn a month for him to realise the grass isnt greener especially when the husband gets wind of it!
you just need time to heal but you need to show im that that you dont care cause if he gets an inkling you do hel push you to oneside as a last resort no doubt about it.
I hope you find happiness and make the most of crimbo
Remember new year new start
Good Luck!!
2007-12-20 03:39:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should look into Alanon, its a support group that helps people who are in relationships with people who have addictions. Addicts of any kind can be very manipulative, and tend to play games and are ususally very self centered, I say it will never work until he gets help for his disease of alcoholism, unless you can accept him just as he is you need to move on for your sake, living with an addict of any kind is very hard. Good luck and Alanon is a great program, if you decide to stay with him or not it will help you deal with your emotions where he is concerned. Good luck.
2007-12-20 06:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by Wanda Foxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things got tough between you guys and now he is just filling the void that was left between you guys. He is just getting attention from this other woman and when she gets sick of him she will boot him to the curb. What you need to do is have one last talk with him and tell him you still love him and want him back. But also tell him to choose you or this other married woman NOW. If it is meant to be then he will pick you if its not move on and not look back. There is alot of guys out there that would love to have a woman that loves them back. Good luck
2007-12-20 03:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want him if he is an alcoholic? And if he can "love" someone in a months time, he can "unlove" in that short of a time too. Plus, who else might he have slept with (let alone, who did the married woman sleep with) and he could have STDs. And, head games?
Stay clear of him, move on with your life and find someone who is good to you and for you.
2007-12-20 03:31:31 · answer #7 · answered by fruitie7 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The one who has to come to their senses is you. The guy is a creep, and an alcoholic. Consider yourself lucky that he's moved on to a new woman, and you're free. It hurts now, but not nearly as much as if you had married him and watched as he cheated on you and ruined your life.
2007-12-20 03:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by Q 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon, you are the lucky one in this situation.....count your lucky stars and thank the heavens you didn't marry this guy! you are already 2 months farther from being around him, in another month it will be 3 months and then 4 and before you know it, you'll be asking yourself what the heck you ever saw in him........
2007-12-20 03:32:16 · answer #9 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not your problem anymore!!! Don't dwell on it! He will learn on his own,,for now Focus on your life and your own healing!
2007-12-20 03:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋