we found out about 10 wks ago that we're having a girl, and my husband (who really wanted a boy) was... let's say apprehensive.... he also didn't think the u/s tech really looked that well (someone came in & interrupted right before she told us what it was, so she seemed a little distracted)... so he's made some comments about how she could be wrong (which i know is a possibility)....
well, the past few days he's been referring to the baby as "HE" and wants to pick out a boy's name, too... which isn't necessarily a bad thing, as there's always the possibility that they were wrong, but it kinda bothers me that he's calling her a "he" & is suddenly thinking having a boy is a high possibility again...
i don't know how to handle this... so far i've just been correcting him & laughing it off, but i'm worried that he might be in denial about us having a girl...
2007-12-20 03:16:45 · 26 answers · asked by Ember Halo 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
my insurance won't cover medically unnecessary ultrasounds
2007-12-20 03:26:51 · update #1
btw, the u/s that we found out the sex at was done at almost 21 wks.
i'm almost 31 wks now.
2007-12-20 03:35:07 · update #2
He'll get over it once the baby is born. It's his way of whistling in the dark. He is probably nervous about being a father to a daughter (many men are, because THEY know how most men treat women) and he may think that he would be a better father for a son.
That is how my bf is. We are ttc now and he is worried about having a girl first (if we are lucky to conceive.) He keeps telling me "you are going to have to dicipline the girls! i don't think i can do it!"
Many men want their son first. I know i would like to have a daughter, because i would be able to watch her grow and see how much she is like me and not like me.
2007-12-20 03:21:35 · answer #1 · answered by Malina 7 · 10⤊ 0⤋
At 21 wks the sex of the baby is known, and if the tech didn't say anything was hanging then it is def a girl. Your husband will get his reality check when the baby is born.
OK, this is what you do, go to the Dr and explain to him your husband is "NUTS" and he is driving you up the walls. Ask him if he could write a script for a medical Ultra Sound that will be covered they can easily do this all they have to place on the scrip as a code is "Patient is Experiencing Pain" in stomach. At 31 weeks ultra sound, the sex of the baby will be conclusive a GIRL. This will be his reality grip and get him ready.
Hopefully he will not be a sh muck, and deny the baby his love some people are funny like that.
2007-12-20 03:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by TTFN10000 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
His behavior is absolutely normal :) He obviously wants a boy - not so much in denial and he is right they could be wrong I have seen it happen. I would go ahead and pick out both a girl and a boy name.
Are you having another ultra sound? If so maybe that can confirm - the tech that did my ultrasounds ( I have twins ) kept trying to find a boy lol as I actually wanted a boy myself.
I have two girls :)
Regardless of what his thoughts are now - when that little bumblina comes into the world he will love her / him either way.
I would not stress yourself too much.
Congrats!
2007-12-20 03:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by chasetwins05 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Most men are apprehensive about babies regardless of their sex. And then they go and think that maybe if it's a boy, they can relate more. Truth is, they don't have the background most women have with the idea of babies and taking care of them. A lot of them start connecting with their kids when they're older, like around 2 or 3, or even at 5 years of age! They'd be too scared of a newborn and wouldn't know what to make of it.
Rather than just ignoring his apprehensions, why not try to get him to explain why he would adamantly "prefer" a baby boy, and then give him assurance and pointers along the way to get him used to the idea. When it comes to babies, their needs are pretty much alike anyway, whether boy or girl.
2007-12-20 03:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by jotdown 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it could be the tech was wrong but in most cases it does turn out they are not wrong. there are a few cases where they are wrong but i would take a look at the ultrasound picture and see what you think, first thing to do with your hubby is sit him down, tell him hunny i know you want a boy but what if its a girl? second tell him that when he calls the baby a boy and its a girl most likely that he is upsetting you. ask him to refer to her as a girl till otherwise proven right or wrong. ask him if you can choose a girl name 2! you gotta let him know that this is making you feel upset and that you want reassurance that what ever sex it is he will love it. its juast normal for a man to want his first born to be a boy but remind him that there will be more kids after her so one of them will be his boy.
good luck
god bless you
congrats!!!!
jesus loves you
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ginger
2007-12-20 03:28:18 · answer #5 · answered by BestFriendsForever1988 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got told once I was having a girl and I just went with it.. but since you were told boy.. its kind of hard for you. I could have that feeling because I wasn't told other wise. With this baby- the ultrasound tech didnt sound like she was 100% sure.. she sounded like she was 60% sure that its a girl.. so I have a feeling she will be a girl (better be- I bought her everything pink). Hope I am right. Get your third and final opinion and go with that.
2016-04-10 09:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEWARE!!! My father apparently did the same thing with me...but even after I was born he was still in denial. I was named after him (Roberta), he bought me only boys clothes, boy toys, only baseball was allowed as a sport and gave me a serious complex about being JUST a girl. So yeah for some men they'll get over it after they hold their little girl in their arms but some men never will. It might have been because he had 2 other girls previously but I still don't think it's right to be constantly disappointed with a child because of their sex!
2007-12-20 03:47:15 · answer #7 · answered by Shiningami_Gurl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well he'll have to face the facts sooner or later. I know what you mean it can be frusterating though having him refer to the baby as he. My fiance does that, we haven't found out yet but I hope it's a boy for his sake but whats worse is his father refers to the baby as a she, so much so it's almost like he thinks if he says it enough it will be a she and that gets really really annoying. Especially since he only wants it to be a girl because he knows my fiance wants a boy.
2007-12-20 03:23:05 · answer #8 · answered by Alexa's mommy ♥ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, my husband was the reverse situation! He was in denial for a month (almost two) that we were having a boy. He wanted his first born to be a girl so badly, and shook his head when the u/s tech said it was a boy, oh and his face literally drained of color - he always dreamt of having a little girl first, so he could have his 'daddys girl.'
I felt miserable at first, like I did it you know, that I was responsible for it, and his family noticed he ONLY called the baby a 'her' and our mothes pretty much ripped into him saying how could he be selfish, when the baby was such a blessing, and he shouldn't be thinking anything differently, and that we will probably have a girl later on.
When we went for the 2nd ultra sound (the u/c didn't show in the first one, so we went back the following month) the tech practically dragged him to the screen to show him it was a boy, and then she was nice and zoomed in on his face, and was like 'Look he already looks like his mama! He has her nose! Didn't you tell me you didn't want the baby to have yours?' That made him laugh, and now he is estatic. Something so simple.
He admitted to me last week, he felt bad about calling our baby a girl, and says nothing is going to change about how much he loves our son, and keeps telling him that 'you are going to take big care of your little sister when we have her!'
Now I tell everyone about how his face drained of color, and was in denial for so long, acting like a nut. He just turns red embarrassed, and says "Hey I dreamt something for so long, and I admit, I was stupid over everything. Now I just can't wait to hold him"
I just thought I'd tell you about what happened with me, and I ignored him as much as I could until he made me feel horrible, and the day I cried in bed, about how I felt that he didn't want the baby, he snapped out of it. He hated seeing me hurt, and realized he was acting foolish - even after the lectures he recieved. Now he is estatic, and is counting down the weeks. (11 to go as of tommorrow!) Until he can see and hold his baby boy. :D
Best wishes, and best of luck. I know your husband will turn to mush when he sees his little girl. I'll bet anything you will see a side of him you never knew before - or he even knew before- when he holds her. They say girls change men, and I believe it, I've seen my friends hubbys do it instantly. Think of it this way: you will laugh about this in a few weeks, and then you can tease him about how silly he acted, and point out how in love he is with his little girl!
2007-12-20 03:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by Tara 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband wanted a little boy soooo bad. My DAUGHTER is now 15 months old and my husband told me just the other day how happy he is that we did have a little girl. Your husband will warm up to the idea (and actuality! ha!). It's just that most guys DO want a boy to "carry on the name" and to have a son. But once that little girl grabs his finger for the first time.. he'll be wrapped around her little finger forever!
2007-12-20 03:31:47 · answer #10 · answered by jenadee_01 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋