What to do in this situation?please be kind..?

Question

I am 26 yr old mother of 2 a daughter age 6 and a baby son who is just about 6.5 months old.My daughters father and i were college sweethearts.We got married right out of college and had a wonderful life together for almost 5 yrs till he passed away.He was hit by a drunk driver went into a comma and passed 3 months later.Shortly afterward my ex.bf from highschool who had been my first everything contacted me as usual because we had kept in contact once or twice a year as old aquantances over the years(nothing more).He wanted to advertise to me about his new business an auto body shop.I told him what was going on in my life and he really listened to me unlike other family/friends who seemed disintrested.We became friends again remebering the good times all the fun we had and the very bad/sad times dumb fights,when i got pregnant had miscarriage,and we broke up 3 times.We dated on/off from 16/17 yrs of age-19/20.He told me his marital problems ..continued

he ended up seperated from his wife for a bit and one thing led to another.I broke it of because i felt sick emotionally and he went back to his wife for therapy.What i did not know was at that time i was pregnant with his son(who is now 26 weeks old new born) and i did not find out till i was 13 weeks pregnant.I had worked as a teacher for 3 yrs before comming home and after my husband passed i went back to work in human resources.I ended up on bed rest because i was so sick and my ex. came to my rescue.Well now i am living in the apartment over his shop that he owns but he is still married?I dont feel right about this because he does sleep over sometimes nothing sextual though but he has started hitting on me again.I have strong feelings for this man still .I feel emotionally a mess do i confront him?or just wait till i can get on my feet before saying anything?

sorry my lab top keeps stalling on me because of connection problems.

My son is my ex.bf child

Answer 1

It looks like you are adding more. I can see what is coming. You need to wait until he is divorced before seeing him. You don't need to break up a family, even if the marriage is all ready rocky. I don't think you sound like the type of person that would do that to anyone. Hang in there, if it is meant to be then you two will be together.

Added** I am confused do you have a baby with your ex?

Added** It seems kind of too late. You are not in the best situation. You probably need to move out as soon as you can. Take care of your kids and don't worry about men for awhile. I feel for you and your situation. Personally I think your ex took advantage of you after your husband passed. Keep your head up and you can make it though this. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

I first want to give my condolesants towards the lost of your husband, that I know was a trajic experience. It appears you were at a very low time in your life when this ex boyfriend of yours came into the picture. I am sure, having him to talk with and share past memories lessened the pain you were going through. His marital problems also led him to seek solice from you. Now there is a child. Above all priorities here, the child should be way up there on the list. As far as any relationship between you and his father, you already know that it is wrong because regardless of what you feel for him, he is still a married man. I am sure you did not go into this to get yourself involved with a married man, but the fact remains you are. Until he can get his life staightened out to a point that he knows what it is he wants, I am afraid you have no alternative but to leave the situation. First off, you need to move from living in an apartment right above his shop, for living there leaves you too available to him and too much temptation for you. Get love and support from family and friends to help you through this. You have been through so much, and now you have 3 children to raise. Take care of yourself and your children and do what you know is the right thing to do. Best of luck to you always!

Answer 3

The attraction sounds strong here, but I would caution you to take everything very very slowly. You are in an emotional limbo so to speak...losing a spouse, feeling alone, vulnerable scared about the future. Here comes along a safe person who is known and comfortable to you. Sounds all very good except I think that any decisions you make now would be made without really thinking about it. Give it time--use your head and not your heart to decide. When kids are involved, you need to be very careful and be sure what you are doing is the right thing for them Good luck to you--this sounds hard...

OK with your additional info: you do need to be able to rely on him for help with your son at the very least. I am betting that his wife does not know about any of this. I think you need to tell him to **** or get off the pot--and why does he sleep over again?

Answer 4

Bad news for you because you already have gone through enough pain,,but you are a mistress now,,and probably will continue to be for years to come unless you brake free from this cycle. He is not leaving his wife. He went back to her,,,,HE WENT BACK TO HER!!! Get it,,,Now is time for you to focus on the kids,,Forget men,,Focus on the kids,,Be unselfish for awhile,,Get out of there,,Life can still give you the happiness you deserve, But you need to take the first step to make things right in your life for the well being of your babies,,Please take heed on the advice,,,MOve away,,start again,,just you and the kids for now!

Answer 5

I can see what is coming next.... AND NEVER!!! Stay away, no more than the one or two phone conversations a year! I don't fully understand, but I have an idea of what you're going through and I'm sorry for your loss... But, don't break up a home, no matter how unhappy he says it is. Now, if he wants to divorce his wife and then contact you, that is one thing... BUT NOT UNTIL THEN!!

Answer 6

So I take it that you guys got together first how long after your husband died did this take place. Also is he still married people might not listen because they may feel it is all happening to fast. With you moving on and all

Answer 7

Right now you have a lot of emotions going on, and hes married. if hes hitting on you, it means, hes thinking about it, but maybe it would be better to say nothing, and just be friends. if he divorces his wife and then asks you on a date, go. if not, when he asks you out, tell him you will wait till he moves out of his house with his wife since you might like a date with him at that point, but until then, no thanks.

Answer 8

you need to tell him that as much as you appreciate the room to stay in that you are still suffering from the death of your husband and the added burden of the new baby. You don't see yourself having any more children and you don't want to be the reason for his failed marrage.

Answer 9

You are vulnerbale now, he is not good material for you now, you might make a bad decision out of your grief and loneliness. If you want to talk to him on the phone, fine, but hold off on any major decisions for at least one year.

Answer 10

a novel in the making here. no doubt a dramatic ending too by the looks of it.