I've been with my fiance for 2 years now, She won't tell me what she likes sexually, Whenever I ask she always says that she doesn't know what she likes because she never experimented with herself besides using a bullet ( vibrator ).
I myself have experience in the area and with other women have been successful in helping the lady reach her climax, So I have no idea what to do with this, I've tried foreplay and oral stimulation and since she birthed our child she doesn't even like the thought of that anymore.
I have not once been able to give her an orgasm during intercourse, But would always get her to climax during oral.
Is there any advice anyone could give me, the most i know is that she likes it when i do it at a slower pace more on the sensual side.
It's creating a heavy ware on our sex life which is impacting our relationship because she never wants sex.....ever.
And I believe she would want it more if i could get her to orgasm on a regular basis during intercourse.
HELP!
2007-12-20 02:25:41 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
After a woman has a child often times her sex drive goes down. So there is nothing that you are doing wrong that's justthe way it is. I bet if you try this it will help you get more sex one day run a bath for her with little tea light candles and put them around the tub. Tell her today you are taking care of the baby you just want her to relax and that you are goign to get up at night with the baby she is probably tired from taking care of the baby it's a hard job. You'll get it more now your the man
2007-12-20 02:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by Debbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women go throu a a stage after giving birth that they dont want sex. Mostly because they feel tired all the time even if they dont look like it. First thing I would do is give her the night off this means from everything get a baby sitter take her out on a real date and romance the hell outta her. This doesn't mean Spend lots of cash just be creative. Show her shes special because u love her and not because she's ur baby's momma. If sex doesn't happen that night dont push it jsut let it come. Romancing a new mother is a great thing to get her back in the mood. Even the little things like leaving post it notes for her to find to let her know how special she is. Sounds cheesy? IT REALLY WORKS. Time and patience.
As for the sex start with what you know works and go from there. If she doesn't know what she likes help her find out try different things together. I know this sounds bad but google Sue Johanson yes the old lady on Oxygen TV she knows everything to know if not will find sources for u. At 37, I am still finding new things I like sexually and in my 20s I thought I knew it all.
2007-12-20 10:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by easojo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she sexually open? I mean does she seem comfortable when you are talking about sex? If so, then just suggest trying different things. Tell her to talk to you during sex and tell you what she likes and doesn't like.
Sometimes watching porn and imitating things they do can lead to better sex - or least other options to spice things up. If she is a more sensual person, I would suggest blindfolding her and playing tease with feathers, ice and such to get her sensual side going - that should turn her on.
You should ask her why she isn't sexually excited anymore. Was she more interested before the child? Some woman tend to feel "guilty" for having sex once they have given birth. I don't know why but it's common for a lot of women.
2007-12-20 10:38:48 · answer #3 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All women are different - no matter how much experience you have ---- getting her to communicate and experiment is the only solution that I know of.
One thing that you have on your side - you seem to care about her pleasure. Many men don't want to deal with sex beyond their own pleasure.
When I was young and had trouble with orgasm and communicating my needs, I had a boyfriend with an attitude similar to yours. He was determined to solve the problem no matter what. I said to him, "the pressure that you are putting on me to have an orgasm is making me tense and will make the problem worse." I WAS WRONG. His caring determination was just the ticket - WOW.
Continue to encourage her communication and maintain a positive attitude about the outcome. Don't get discouraged and have FUN in the process.
PS... Debbie has the right idea too... I didn't have kids, but all my friends talk about how exhausted they were the first year or two of thier kids life.
2007-12-20 10:38:37 · answer #4 · answered by Bentley 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK. You think you are doing it right, right? Well, maybe not.
What works for some might not work for others, but one thing holds true for all - foreplay, foreplay, foreplay!!! And please, do not assume that you are doing everything in your power to please her. How long has it been since she gave birth? Men simply cannot understand how much of a toll this takes on a woman's body, mind and spirit. Be patient with her. And above all else, treat her like a queen. Love her deeply!
2007-12-20 10:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by raininonsunday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your playing with the wrong end> It;s the mind you have to cultivate> The body will follow> She has to want to have orgasm & climax> Keep bring it up and it won't happen your making her frigit>Be paychant>You have a start as she can have them just find the key to unlocking the treasure chest>
2007-12-20 10:34:31 · answer #6 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You only THINK you know what you're doing, trust me.
2007-12-20 10:30:00 · answer #7 · answered by Violation Valerie X 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋