Alright so I've been dating this guy who I thought was divorced. He told me back in Sept that he had sent the papers in, started paying child support, and moved out. He called me yesterday very upset saying that he just got a letter saying that his wife did not sign the divorce papers or there was some disagreement or something. I didn't fully understand it.
My question is..can this actually happen? I'm thinking that once he sent the divorce papers in he thought *that was that*, and didn't think much of it. He's from Puerto Rico..and still has trouble understanding english, so maybe he got something mixed up. Also, he and his wife have children together. Can this slow down the divorce process? Does divorce take THIS long?? It's been a few months now. I know why his wife doesn't want the divorce..because then she will actually have to get a job & wont be supported.
2007-12-20 02:16:58 · 11 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is trying to find a lawyer now, and says he has to go to court. I'm just not understanding how he could have been paying child support...when he wasn't even divorced! I don't think he would lie to me, but this just makes no sense.
2007-12-20 02:18:24 · update #1
I know that those of you who said I should turn around and run are probably right. I probably do deserve better, and I'm sure I'm foolish to say that I want to give this relationship a try. I love his kids, I have no problem that he has kids. He told me just yesterday that I would be better off with someone who is more "stable". If I wanted to walk away, it would hurt him a lot, but he wants me to be happy.
I should mention that he is not living at home. And..,we are not having sex. So..if he was using me for that, he would have found someone else by now. This man was a preacher for 6 years. We both have similar beliefs.
Anyway, thank you so much for the advice. I have a lot of thinking to do.
2007-12-20 02:48:01 · update #2
Yes this can happen and yes, he can be paying support if he's not living with her but still married to her. That is very possible.
It can take months or years to get divorced, especially if kids are involved. It will all matter on how willing she is to cooperate with it all. If she tries to fight it it could drag out for a longgg time.
This is why you ask to see the final order of divorce. Then you would have known right away that this guy was still married.
2007-12-20 02:21:47 · answer #1 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he didn't lie. He said he sent the divorce papers. While he is separated he must pay child support. It is the correct thing to do. If she doesn't want to sign the divorce papers it can take some time. He should try to get a legal separation for now just in case then in two years if the divorce doesn't come through he will be automatically divorced. Find out if he is really out of the house.
2007-12-20 05:36:26 · answer #2 · answered by lloydh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is totally possible. From the date of separation the primary income holder is to still support his dependents, e.g. why he has been paying child support. His future ex wife does have time to contest the divorce by law and this may have caused a delay, as well as if she is not of this origin there could have been some mix up. Also divorces usually take up to a year to completely divide all the assets, decide on custody agreements, and spousal support arrangements. Divorces aren't fun, hang tight hun because it is going to take a while.
2007-12-20 02:25:08 · answer #3 · answered by betty15 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband was legally separated when I met him 17 years ago--his son was four. Yes, the non-custodial parent is required to pay support before the divorce is final--the kid still needs to eat etc. My sister just got her divorce finalized--they ahve been trying to settle it since May 2005---when people have a lot of material assets and children, it can take quite a long time for the parties to bothe agree on how to divide things up, who will pay for kids' college etc. Brace yourself--this could take a while. In my husband's case, it went pretty quick because they didn't own anything together--they just had debt.
2007-12-20 02:26:30 · answer #4 · answered by Stacies Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girl if I can give you some sound advice, turn around and run. All divorced men have packages comprising of a wife and children and bills attached to the family, court cases demanding money and the list goes on and on and on. This is NOT fair to you. You deserve better and better is out there. Look for unmarried men and leave the divorced ones. They also have baggage of their own which they bring into the relationship and chances are the way he treated her he will treat you. There is also a chance he is bs'ing you into believing all kinds of trash because he likes having sex with you and because you are available. In the end they mostly return to their families....their consciences get the better of them. He is more than likely in LUST with you and kidding you into believing he is in love with you. Trus me he still loves his wife. He is mad at her about something or she chased him away for messing around. No one ever knows the truth because there is always 3 sides to divorces, namely HIS side, HER side and then there is the TRUTH.
You really dont need this. Run away and never regret doing it. Rather a little hurt now than a fat divorce later on because thats where you are heading!
LIsten to sense and override the foolish feelings attached to this fruitless situation. Guarenteed - he is not going to marry you!!!!! If he does, you get loads of packages and baggage with it. Is this what you really want?
2007-12-20 02:31:34 · answer #5 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happen to me as well,,ironic I'm also from Puerto Rico..lol,,,,
Maybe it was an honest mistake,,not sure,,But you should have never began a relationship with a man that is still married. If he lied to you about this, then this is a red flag that you should be aware of....Divorces can take a long time,,,and they are never enjoyable,,so, if you are willing to be drag into the mess,,it's your life and your choice. Good luck!
2007-12-20 02:52:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You can be ordered to pay interim child support before a divorce is final.
2. Divorce can take a long time - it usually takes at least 6 months to a year.
3. Obviously there is an issue that they haven't agreed on. She might be contesting his refusal to pay alimony - so eventually a court might award her alimony so she doesn't have to work. It depends on the situation.
4. You need to find a guy who isn't in the middle of a nasty divorce.
2007-12-20 02:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by Dina K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A freedom or a precise is a state granted permission to do some thing interior a undeniable potential that they later set with court docket situations. it is a humorous tale. All of politics is a humorous tale. Telling somebody they are allowed to be loose isn't actual freedom and is even worse being a finished perversion of what a precise or freedom particularly is.
2016-11-23 17:18:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, as long as the mother is taking care of the children and they are not living together she can file for child support. they don't have to be divorced to get child support. how long a divorce takes and how it's handled all depends on what state you are from. his best bet would be to get a lawyer.
2007-12-20 03:08:59 · answer #9 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it sure can... what she did was contest it... which means she doesn't want to give him a divorce!
2007-12-20 02:47:56 · answer #10 · answered by laydenirvine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋