I really have nothing to do, I can't get a hold of my boss..can someone say something funny or interesting to pas this last hour?
merry christmas too
2007-12-20 02:08:17 · 21 answers · asked by Moral Kiosk 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
LOL thank you all..good answers..
I'm not naked at the moment no, as i'm in my office..I'm very bored but not naked..lol
2007-12-20 02:13:41 · update #1
Thanks Pam! That killed a few minutes..v good xx
2007-12-20 02:23:40 · update #2
Murcia, very funny! not! lol
Shygirl, lol thanks for that, I'm sure I had that in an email this year, it rings a bell..lol the photocopier is looking rather tasty..LOL hehe
2007-12-20 02:34:53 · update #3
Oh, I can't be funny just on the spot! Pressure!
Anyway, by the sound of it, it doesn't matter what you say, he will just grimace unamused and walk on.... lol
Have a good time celebrating the good times tonight!
xox
(Lol! Check your email before you go! I just got your annual leave email, with a contact number, so technically I could call this John O'Neil guy and ask for you... tee hee!)
2007-12-20 03:08:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This should take up some time....
It's great to be a guy
Reasons why it's great to be a guy
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Monday Night Football.
Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars.
Old friends don't annoy you if you've lost or gained weight.
Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
Your last name stays put.
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
You can kill your own food.
The garage is all yours.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
You never have to clean the toilet.
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
The National College Cheerleading Championship
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
Flowers fix everything.
You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me.
You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
You get to jump up and slap stuff.
One mood, all the time.
You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
Same work....more pay.
Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
You don't mooch off others' desserts.
The remote is yours and yours alone.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
ESPN's sports center.
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
Baywatch
There is always a game on somewhere.
2007-12-20 02:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by pam5469 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry it's so long - but this made me laugh.....
ONE-POINT DARES
1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry,I really prefer it this way".
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While riding in an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
6. When in the lift with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.
THREE-POINT DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any p*rnography web sites.
FIVE-POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
5.. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.
6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same
person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14 . Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll see you tonight
2007-12-20 02:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
By the age of 20 the average American watches 20,000 hours of TV. (Add 10000 hours for every 10 years after that). Which is enough time to learn two new languages.
MRS. NICE: That website was really funny.
2007-12-20 02:12:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have super powers and the first thing I am going to do is turn back time so hey you are at the start of your morning !!
So Mr smart *** were are you going ?
Second thing is I could get hold of your boss put his tie in the window of my car and drive off good or what.
2007-12-20 05:02:11 · answer #5 · answered by Edgein 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about I sing?
I have a lovely voice Il show you.
oooooooooooooooooooh laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa laaa meeeeeeerry christmaaaaaas
I wrote that myself.
EDIT : Lmao I cant stop laughing at shyGirls post.
2007-12-20 02:12:12 · answer #6 · answered by Cellar Door. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My dog just farted really loud, a very Merry Christmas to you and yours too, have a wonderful day.
2007-12-20 02:12:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you really a naked chef? MMMMMMMM Merry Christmas to you to.
2007-12-20 02:11:33 · answer #8 · answered by Gone 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i grow to be watching a instruct approximately aspiring chefs attempting to win a contest. all of them had to entice the call of a united states of america and concentration on the delicacies of the area that they drew. One pronounced he dreaded drawing South united statesa., and he drew Brazil. the way it occurred grow to be a snort.
2016-11-04 03:12:39 · answer #9 · answered by dudderar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only the second hour of work for me and Santa left a basket full of liquor!
2007-12-20 02:18:10 · answer #10 · answered by ticktock 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋