Divorce?????????

Question

My husband and I discussed divorce last night.
This will be quite a shock to everyone we know; we put up such a good front at being happy.

I love my husband but ever since my business that I started went belly up; everything just seems to be going wrong. I have no zest for life anymore. I get aggravated easily and I'm so down on myself. No one sees this except my husband and kids. It seems as if we are just living as roommates. No oneis cheating as far as I know; we don't argue and fight; we just co-exist.

My question is how do I tell the kids? The husband says I need to decide which two I'm going to take with me. I don't want to seperate my kids. But I am so unhappy. Maybe I have mental issues i don't know.

I have been researching divorce all morning; I hate breaking up my family; my kids are going to be devestated. Damn.

We both can't see ourselves without the children; that why there was talk of two living with him and two living with me. It seems the only time we enjoy each others company is when we are attending events with the kids.

Answer 1

I am not sure that you are in the right frame of mind for divorce. It sounds like you are depressed about your business and may need therapy, but throwing away your marriage does not sound like the answer.

Before you end your marriage, you should get some therapy and see how you feel. Sometimes when a person is depressed, they are ready to give up everything, but that is not an answer.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 2

Think about this for a moment; you put on such a great show of being happy that no one noticed.

Could it be that your married friends had been occasionally doing the same?

Actually, EVERY relationship goes through some rough spots. No one has a perfect marriage, no matter how good it looks on the outside. Having hard times where the love seems low or gone is not unique. Every marriage has highs and lows, some higher and lower than others.

Before you decide to divorce, get some counseling. A good relationship counselor will have seen this before, and probably experienced it several times themselves if they are married.
You owe it to each other and your kids to try to stick it out through this low period. Imagine how much stronger your relationship will be if you overcome something like this!

Answer 3

So you're just giving up? That's the easy way out. You both made vows to each other, and as I recall, there's something in there about "for better or worse, sickness and health". There's two things you need to do, and both will benefit your marriage. To me (and I've been there), you sound like you're depressed. Talk to your doctor about going on an antidepressant, at least for awhile. Clinical depression is nothing to be ashamed of, and given your circumstances, it's no surprise at how you're feeling. Second, both you and your husband need to go to counseling. Marriages are not disposable, and unless there is abuse, adultery, or substance abuse, it's fixable. Think long and hard about what it will do to your kids. Right now things seem to be pretty hopeless, but please believe me - there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Answer 4

Divorce is a ugly situation to be in, so my advise to you would be to do anything & everything you can to keep the family together, & if it means putting your happiness on the back burner then so be it! As you have no idea of the destuction & damage it will bring to your children, & it will, divorce can take a stable child who receives straight A,s in school & turn the child into a whole different person, divorce makes a ugly change of events take place in a child, so at the end of the day you must do what 80% of women are doing on a daily basis, & thats making a sacrafice to your children, its putting their needs above your wants, lets face it we all cant be happy all the time, so forget your happiness! think about the wellbeing of these childrens, think of their futures!

Answer 5

Seems as though you've done a pretty thorough job of self analysis. In fact you and your husband sound very rational and appear to be the thype of people who look into something before jumping off. So that tells me that there is more than hope in saving this whole thing. Co-existing for now is better than hating one another. Co-existence means that you still love and care for one another. Time to nuture the feelings again and let them blossom.
Don't give up. You both can pull this off. Take it slow and you'll see. It'll happen. I'm confident of it.

Answer 6

I would def suggest getting some help. You've let the world break you down but you can let that break up your marriage and family. Think for one moment about your kids...and your husband. Don't think about yourself. If your husband is a good man, supports you, wants to make you happy, I would suggest putting in all effort to make this work out for you family. I pray all goes well. Just deny yourself---seek God---and accept what has happen and try to move on...with family in tact.

Answer 7

A freedom or a precise is a state granted permission to do some thing interior a undeniable potential that they later set with court docket situations. it is a humorous tale. All of politics is a humorous tale. Telling somebody they are allowed to be loose isn't actual freedom and is even worse being a finished perversion of what a precise or freedom particularly is.

Answer 8

You don't need a divorce, you need antidepressant medication. Your business's failure brought on a depressive episode which adversely affected your marriage. You owe it to your husband and your children to give antidepressants at least a 6-8 week try before giving up. Take it from someone with personal experience -- they really work.

Answer 9

Research a marriage counselor or some career courses instead. Just because you've hit a low point doesn't mean you should break up your family. Try to remember how it was like when you guys first got together and come up with ways that you can recapture that.

Answer 10

Marriage is an expression of love and respect and trust and faith in the future, but the union of husband and wife is also an alliance against the challenges and tragedies of life, a promise that with me in your corner, you will never stand alone.
Please seek counseling and remember what Love and Marriage is.