1. {(The Number of the Beast × π) + the number of bad pick up lines employed by Gene Simmons} ÷ the number of times Christina Aguilera has had her bottle rubbed the right way.
2. If Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse have a cocaine party on Saturday night starting at 11pm, what times does Scott Stapp show up, and what time does he become even too unbearable for the wasted likes of Love and Winehouse and get tossed out while screaming "BUT I AM A ROCKSTAR!!"
3. (The followinq question is being brought to you by Guiness.)
Guiness: BRILLIANT!
(Yes, that's right, I sold out.)
If × is the number of pints of Guiness Dave Mustaine drank on the Peace Sells tour, and ý is the number of black'n'tans made by Klaus Mein with rich Guiness stout drank during the Moscow Music Peace Festival, then what is ś if ś is equal to (× + ý) ÷ the number of Guiness' any publisher would have to drink to release a Lynne Spears parenting book.
4. See the additional details for more....
2007-12-20 01:45:03 · 9 answers · asked by Mike AKA Mike 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music ➔ Rock and Pop
5. In the very near future, Miley Cyrus will cause a massive rift amongst the Jonas Brothers when_______.
a) she dumps Nicholas because Joseph is older and more sophisticated
b) she reveals in Teen Beat magazine that Paul is "hung like an inchworm"
c) she announces that she prefers real men like Dylan and Cole, the stars of The Suite Life of Zack & Cody
d) she's photographed licking Lemmy's mole, sending shockwaves of depression through the three brothers
6. Which of the following does not belong?
a) Pete Wentz
b) Adam Duritz
c) Kelly Clarkson
d) Alicia Keys
2007-12-20 01:46:25 · update #1
7. During the great intergalactic war against the one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eaters, many bands and musicians signed up to go to war in the defense of our planet. In order to maintain a sense of commradery and continuity, full bands were assigned to a unit together. Choose one of the artists below and describe one of their memorable exploits from the war.
Aerosmith, Backstreet Boys, Culture Club, Duran Duran, The Eurythmics, The Foo Fighters, or Great White.
2007-12-20 01:47:05 · update #2
Man, I used to do just fine in this class with: "that song is 1,2,3,4 by Canadian singer-songwriter Feist". I don't know if I can handle this kind of academic pressure *gulp*...
1. {(The Number of the Beast × π) + the number of bad pick up lines employed by Gene Simmons} ÷ the number of times Christina Aguilera has had her bottle rubbed the right way.
A: I thought of just making up a random number to answer this, but the ghosts of Albert Einstein and Blaze Bayley's Career (RIP) hovered over my shoulder and I thought, nahhhhhh, let's do this right, so:
(666 x 3.14159) + 2,783,854*** ÷ 23 (the bottom: 13, the side: 9, the hole: 1) = 121,128.
***Based on 1-on-1 interviews with all known Simmons pick-up line victims, comprising 2,783,850 women, three men in dimly-lit bars, and Peter Criss during the notoriously "lonely" KISS tour of Uzbekistan in 1976.
2. If Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse have a cocaine party on Saturday night starting at 11pm, what times does Scott Stapp show up, and what time does he become even too unbearable for the wasted likes of Love and Winehouse and get tossed out while screaming "BUT I AM A ROCKSTAR!!"
A: Shows up (knows of party in advance): 10.59 p.m.
Thrown out once: 11.01 p.m.
Climbs back in through window: 11.03 p.m.
Thrown out a second time, while screaming "BUT I AM A ROCK STAR -": 11.05 p.m.
Sticks head through window and yells " - UNLIKE YOU, B*ITCH!" at Courtney Love: 11.06 p.m.
LAPD Homicide Unit called in: 11.08 p.m.
3. (The followinq question is being brought to you by Guinness.)
Guinness: BRILLIANT!
(Yes, that's right, I sold out.)
If × is the number of pints of Guinness Dave Mustaine drank on the Peace Sells tour, and ý is the number of black'n'tans made by Klaus Mein with rich Guinness stout drank during the Moscow Music Peace Festival, then what is ś if ś is equal to (× + ý) ÷ the number of Guinness' any publisher would have to drink to release a Lynne Spears parenting book.
A: Anyone who drank with Dave Mustaine would, by definition, have passed out (along with Dave) long after their ability to count had been lost in an alcoholic haze, thus rendering "x" a variable quantity in the following equation:
ś = (x - cosine ý) + (gallons of Guinness required to be imbibed in order to make Jamie Lynn Spears
Spears look vaguely attractive - Brewer's Droop variable) + Z (where Z is J L's Refusal To Learn From Older Sister That Removing Panties Can Have Serious Consequences) ÷ [q (where q is desperation of publisher - cost of Courtney Love Negligent Parenting motivational tapes for Lynne) - chances of Dave sending X'mas card to Lars Ulrich]
5. In the very near future, Miley Cyrus will cause a massive rift amongst the Jonas Brothers when_______.
a) she dumps Nicholas because Joseph is older and more sophisticated
b) she reveals in Teen Beat magazine that Paul is "hung like an inchworm"
c) she announces that she prefers real men like Dylan and Cole, the stars of The Suite Life of Zack & Cody
d) she's photographed licking Lemmy's mole, sending shockwaves of depression through the three brothers
e) Lemmy's mole licks her in return.
6. Which of the following does not belong?
a) Pete Wentz
b) Adam Duritz
c) Kelly Clarkson
d) Alicia Keys
A: In a bass guitar instructional video: a
In a hair stylist's training manual: b
In a men's restroom: a, c & d
7. During the great intergalactic war against the one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eaters, many bands and musicians signed up to go to war in the defense of our planet. In order to maintain a sense of commradery and continuity, full bands were assigned to a unit together. Choose one of the artists below and describe one of their memorable exploits from the war.
Aerosmith, Backstreet Boys, Culture Club, Duran Duran, The Eurythmics, The Foo Fighters, or Great White.
A: LOG OF COMMANDER JOSEPH PERRY, Stardate 2456.18: The sudden appearance of a new mutant strain of one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater threatens the slim victory we achieved yesterday. Indeed, it threatens our very existence. It is a truly grotesque creature, being possessed of a gigantic mouth, capable of swallowing an entire Flying V fighter squadron. We have fired lasers at it, only for our troops to be sprayed with fountains of pure heroin and cocaine from the monster's open wounds, thus rendering them, (although happy), unable to fight.
The monster seems strangely familiar; it may be a certain expression in its one eye, or perhaps its unpleasant habit of repeatedly humping any available crater in the vicinity. Either that, or the fact that it sings "Toys In The Attic" constantly, in a raspy yet instantly recognisable voice.
I have summoned Captain Tyler to my room; hard questions need to be asked.
LOG OF COMMANDER JOSEPH PERRY, Stardate 2456.19: Alas! The tide, which seemed in our favour, has turned bitterly against us due to the treachery of one of our own men. I have questioned Captain Tyler (who was wearing a purple T-shirt with the words: "Hey, I Have One Horn Too, Can I Eat You?". He has admitted to sleeping with the female OEOHFPPE with the biggest **** on this remote planet. Hence, I have established the paternity of the new monster that is decimating our forces.
"We are not backstage at Madison Square Garden now, Steve!", I yelled at him. "The future of the human race is in the balance! That hellspawn of yours out there is going to destroy us all!" He pursed his ample lips and replied: "Her name is not hellspawn, it's Liv. Oh wait, I've used that one already..."
LOG OF COMMANDER JOSEPH PERRY, Stardate 2456.20: As a precaution, I have confiscated Captain Tyler's penis, frozen it in liquid nitrogen, and locked it in the cargo hold, under armed guard, where it can cause no further mischief. "That's what you think", smirked Tyler, when I personally removed the offending organ (with triple-layered rubber gloves, one cannot be too careful).
LOG OF COMMANDER JOSEPH PERRY, Stardate 2456.21: I hear thumping noises and the faint strains of Barry White records coming from the cargo hold. Captain Tyler, seated opposite me, smirks a little wider.
We are losing forces rapidly out in the battleground. I order the final weapon to be used against the mutant purple people eater; it is the Backstreet Boys themselves, strapped to a rocket. I hope against hope that their indigestible saccharine will prove fatal when swallowed.
Pray for us.
2007-12-20 08:20:03 · answer #1 · answered by Bowzer 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
1.the answer would be 1, apparently gene doesn't have bad pickup lines because he's slept with practically an entire nation...and i'm sure the answer is more than 1 for aguilera, but since this is her first time knocked up, i'm giving her benefit of the doubt
2.stapp would show up at 11:10, thinking that is "fashionably late" do 1 line of coke(he's a supposed christian right?) and be kicked out at 3am when they come down enough to realize he's only annoying, not awesome
3.damn i got nothin.....
5.b just cuz that's funny as hell...
6.d, she's the only one i know of who doesn't have 12 year olds wanting her to molest them
7.Katie Couric: "And in other news, today Aerosmith rejoined the human race after defeating the ppe(purple people eaters) in a face off of wits and skill...Steven Tyler had a stare off with the leaders of the ppe association and while staring, burst out with a chorus of "pink"...the ppe associate could not take it anymore and took a flying leap off the edge of apollo 13 into outerspace. Steven Tyler, when asked why he risked his life for his country simply replied, "i may not be able to make any great contribution to music, but i STILL don't wanna miss a thing".
2007-12-20 10:14:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. 32648926482347.
2. He shows up at 11:01.
He gets tossed out at 11:03.
3.What's a black'n'tan? lol.
Minor in the building.
4. c!
5. Adam
The rest are women.
6. The Backstreet Boys were all sodomized into insanity.
2007-12-20 09:54:04 · answer #3 · answered by rocket queen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. 6 6 6
2. He shows up at 9:30 and gets tossed before anyone else arrives.
3. I'm just gonna say 42.
4. ?????
5. D.
6. A.
7. Great White sets their intergalactic nightclub on fire with their sweet pyrotechinics show!
2007-12-20 09:51:13 · answer #4 · answered by gillianinchains 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. fricken math this time of day............763
2. Scott stapp arrives 1/2 and hour early and is booted from the party moments befor winehouse is arrested
3. 89 and its guinness with two n's
4. ill be back someone stole my other page of the test
5. d
6. d
7. Backstreet boy where used as bait in the final battle backstreet survivors
2007-12-20 11:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by Bored @ Work 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. 2,147
2. 11:04 pm
3. 548
5. D
6. A
7. You know I completely fold on these questions because the bar has been set so high. *looking for dog whistle*
I believe that the Eurythmics were the most decorated unit in the battalion, though. Would you mess with Annie Lennox? I didn't think so.
2007-12-20 10:00:13 · answer #6 · answered by Sookie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1) any number divided by zero = 0
2) Scott is too drunk by 11pm to even remember where he's supposed to go.
3) Has to be 1
5) C
6) B (all the girls stay together)
7) Great White are the leaders of the Flamethrowers Brigade and cook all the aliens!
2007-12-20 11:04:14 · answer #7 · answered by Beatle fanatic 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1 Dopes To Infinity
2 Stapp show up at Midnight, and gets thrown out at 1 am when Love realizes his jokes are lame.
3 775,472
5 d) Lemmy gets all the action
6 Trick Question, they all do
7 I recall how awesome The Culture club were at distracting the aliens by making them physically ill by singing "Karma Chameleon" while Aerosmith would sneak up behind their backs and annihilate them in ambush.
2007-12-20 11:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont have that much time onmy hands mate :P
2007-12-20 09:50:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 7⤋