Will my kids hate me forever because.........?

Question

I have NO money for Christmas presents this year. I have been struggling to pay my bills (tax bill just went up $500 poof just like that). I don't know how to tell them, and I just cry when I think about this. And no, I don't have credit cards to just "put" the presents on. I don't even think I can get them a stocking this year (3 kids).

They are 12,13 and 15 years old

Answer 1

I don't hate my parents for all the Christmas' I had without store bought presents. I was 5 years the first time I remember not having "something store bought" for Christmas because things were economically tough for my parents. But Mama made the best Christmas dinner I can remember from hamburger, potatoes, 3 sweet potatoes and squash. She also cooked up some rice pudding from 1 pound of rice that our neighbors had shared with us. A bit of spice here, nutmeg there, red and green kool ade just rounded off the feast. I still remember that and I'm 64. I don't remember much about the Christmas which had store bought toys. But I remember that one Christmas as if it was yesterday. Mama, bless her soul, set me down and explained as best she could through tears of sorrow that Christmas was going to be a little shy of trimmings because Daddy had to pay extra bills that couldn't wait. It was the way she explained it. Sincerely, hugging me, stroking my hair with my head to her chest so I could not see the tears in her eyes but I knew they were there. I said "O.K." and went about. On that Christmas day I awoke to the best ever Christmas day I can remember. Children are more understanding especially when they are already in an economically depressed family. They know what hand-me-downs are. They know "only 1 piece because Janie or Johnny needs to have one too". My children have been my greatest teachers to me than all the college I have attended. I could tell you some stories that will forever remain etched in my heart about times when I was the student and my children were my teachers. I'm sure at some time or another we also were teachers to our parents. I just don't remember it that way. Wrap each child in your arms with a motherly hug, a kiss to the forehead and a sincere I Love You as you gaze directly into their eyes. That's a present that no body can give them except YOU and one they will cherish forever.

Answer 2

If your kids are old enough to understand that they get presents at Christmas, then they are old enough to understand about the "greenhouse effect". Tell them that you want to make this a "green Christmas" and that you will not accept any presents that have not been made by yourselves. Also you are going to try to have a special picnic for Christmas day, they each get to pick something that they really like to eat and even if you have to put a blanket on the floor, have a picnic with them. Then each one is to give the present that they made for the other, these will be put in a place that all can see ( that you have already made eg; on top of the TV) It is not the cost of the presents that you give to each other but it is the time that you put into them that makes it special. You have a wonderful opportunity to teach your children that price tags mean nothing if the thought was never there, do not waste it as these do not come around often. Best of health, wealth and happiness for the New Year

Answer 3

I would try to go to the local salvation army or food pantry and ask if there is anything they could do for you at this time. I have been hearing that even those programs are very limited this year , people are just not giving...I think most people are in the same situation you are in right now, with the fuel prices, food prices, heating...ect.
I also think that at their ages, they will be upset but, would understand that the roof over their head and food on the table has to come before electronics, and games...ect. If you have taught them reality of life...needs before wants and they know right from wrong, they wil get over it fairly early...Maybe if there arent any places to help at this late stage..you can explain to them that money is too tight and that right after the holiday you will get them some things...they will just have to wait a alittle bit longer then Christmas...most kids will be olay with the truth, and to know that at least something is coming.
I just think it is horrible that any parent has to go through this, what if I cant afford it, Seems it is all about the money spent on the gifts we get, not the real meaning of the holiday.

Answer 4

I'm really sorry that you are going through such hard financial times. They are old enough to understand what is going on. Just let them know that you can't get them anything for Christmas this year but remind them that they still have birthdays and random days during the year that, once you get a little extra cash, you will get them something. Your kids won't hate you. Honestly, they may not FULLY comprehend the magnitude of the situation until they are in their 20s and they experience on their own the dilemmas of money. Don't cry..pray about it and let it go. You'll be okay. Plus, you could always make them each something special. It would be more personal. Christmas isn't about the gifts and just remind them of that.

Answer 5

Absolutely not! My parents were tight on money some years and I still love them.

This is what you should do:
Explain to them that money is tight this year and ask them what they would rather do to celebrate Christmas. Tell them that you can all exchange a homemade gift, or spend some quality time together or something like that.

If they were younger they wouldn't get it, but they are old enough to understand that money doesn't grow on trees. They may not like it, but it's how life is.

Also, I'm not sure where you live but, a lot of areas have programs that offer assistance for things like this. I know that the marines do "toys for tots" and there are the "angel trees" at Salvation Army. It might not be too late to take advantage of something like that.

Good luck, God bless and Merry Christmas!

Answer 6

as a parent, we always want to give our kids everything... sometimes it's just not possible. depending on the ages of your children, I'm sure they won't hate you forever. my mom went through rough patches as I was growing up and occasionally there was a Christmas where I might get one present. I didn't care. if your kids can understand how hard life gets sometimes concerning money, they'll understand.
some suggestions could be contacting toys-for-tots, because I'm sure you'd be able to get some help there; or maybe if you have a little money, you could browse the local salvation army or goodwill - you could get good stuff there; or is it possible that you could explain the situation to a close family member and possibly get a loan to buy presents - b/c a family member would be easy on you paying it back and would definitely understand what is going on!

in the end, christmas is a time to be together as a family. you may not be able to give your children material possessions this christmas, but you can give them love. there are a lot of children who don't even get that.

best of luck! i hope you have a merrry christmas!

Answer 7

Do a family thing instead? maybe make stockings, find some old sheets around the house, sew them? (depending on how old the kids are) No, i actually do not think they'll be mad at you, if they're old enough to understand, just tell them it's tight. Make christmas decorations together, do secret santa within your family, pick names, and do nice things for them all week without giving away who you are. (this doesn't have to include giving presents!) Just think of creative things you can do! If they're under 5 or something, try to get something really small, they won't really understand why you aren't having christmas this year. Craigslist is good... salvation army?

Good luck and merry christmas!!!

Answer 8

no, i think they can understand. They are old enough to know whats going on. I grew up with barely anything for christmas and times are rough and as long as there is family and cheer everything will be ok. Do something fun with them and make a family dinner. Or you can go to like the dollar store and spend like $5 on each of them on just little nifty things. Explain that you are trying and tell them that christmas isnt always just about the presents.

Answer 9

No they will not hate you. In fact, they are all old enough for you to sit down with them and talk about your financial position. It would be a great life lesson for them.

You really should not attempt to hide your financial situation from your children. They will find out one way or another.

You can make Christmas presents for your children. If you can afford just a few items, you can do scrapbooking type projects and have wonderful presents for all three of your children. You must have pictures around the house. Just put together a few simple scrapbooks.

If that sounds too expensive, just make a scrapbook picture for each child. You can put the pictures in frames if you can afford it or not.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 10

Even worst case scenario, they won't hate you forever :)

As suggested, why don't you try some charities.

Or are there things you could do that don't cost money - like make up vouchers for doing things as a family or individually with each of them so they get time with you alone. (i.e. a picnic and a long walk, a cosy night in with a DVD and popcorn ) Or if you think you are going to have more money in the next few months you could give them a rain check for a specific present? If you're crafty then you could make something (i.e. personalise a t-shirt out of one that they no longer wear)

Maybe speak to some family or friends and ask if they have anything they can donate - even if it is second hand.

Good luck to you...