How do I univite someone unpopular from a party?

Question

A group of friends meet on a regular basis, but one unpopular guy wont take the hint and leave the group? What should we do - move?

Whoa!.. the group is a bunch of guys 25-30 and he's 45. We play poker together. The guy is such a drag everyone is thinking of quiting the group. Maybe "popular" was the wrong word to use. He's an ok guy... just a real drag.

Answer 1

Do you in all honesty think everyone you come in contact thinks you are a great person, there are people that think you are a "drag" too. He just wants to play cards with the group, you and your friends are really rude and inconsiderate people. Not everyone is cool and the hit of the party but they do have the right to be there and co-exist. Cut the guy a break let him just play with you. I thought this only went on in school aged kids, not 25-35-40 yr old men! He just wants to be part of the group.

Answer 2

Get over yourself. Honestly, all this popular crap is ridiculous. It really doesn't matter now and it isn't going to matter when you get out of school. No one will care if you were in the popular group when you go to get a job or even care if you go to University.

Why don't you take the time actually start being a real friend and make the time for everyone to get to know him instead of being so shallow and spineless.

LOL I just read your additional details! You made yourself sound as if you were still in high school! LOL!!!!

Oh, dude...it is past the time to grow up. Look just be honest with the guy. He can't read your mind...no one can so all these so called hints you've been giving him aren't doing anything because he doesn't get it. Just be open and honest with him. Maybe he doesn't realize he is bringing the party down...maybe he has a lot on his mind and this is his only outlet. Maybe being around you guys is his type of therapy...did you ever think of that. Communication is the key fella...just sit him down and tell him how you feel. Man to man, cut through the bull crap and the girlie hints and be a man.

Answer 3

It is kind of shallow to exclude someone, just because they don't quite fit in, but whatever you do, you should be respectful of this person. Simply ignoring them or treating them badly so they will leave is immature and rude. If you really want to exclude them, you could try saying "Its great that you want to come with us, but this is really something for Jen, Sean, Anna and I, maybe we could get together another time and have coffee/conversation/whatever." That way you are still making them feel included in a way, and you are also making it clear that this other time is for your group.

Either way you should try to be polite and as honest as you can without being rude. You never know... there might be a day when you need a friend and all those people in your group aren't there for you.

Also, I just thought... you could try and find this guy some friends to hang out with that have more in common with him.

Answer 4

if he's not catching the "hint", then one of you is going to have to man-up and talk to him in a straightforward, honest fashion. not only is this the simplest way to end the problem, but it's the most decent and compassionate way you can be towards another human being, by being honest with him.

this doesn't mean you need to give him a list of all his faults in your eyes and make him feel like garbage. just tell him that you don't feel like he's compatible as a friend with you and the others and that you wish him the best, but don't want to be his friend or hang around with him anymore. it's going to be unpleasant, awkward and uncomfortable, but it's the best thing you can do to honor him and yourselves rather than stringing him along with constant resentment and hostility.

Answer 5

Lots of times, we as human beings are more afraid of someone we dislike than they are of us. Your problem is as simple as telling him the truth. But be advised, people are capable of harbouring wonderfull personalities inside. What if he is really cool? Ok, maybe he is not, but look at it this way, you letting him come is a favour, do it for him. In this world we tend to lump people together by excluding thenm from our groups. When thry leave ours, they join "the outcast gang" which opens them up for more ridicule. Sure, its not wrong for you not to want to be with him, but always think about what would happen if every one in the world uninvited others from thier party. we'd have one big problem to solve.

Answer 6

Go out of your way to hang out without them. Don't tell them where you are going and when. Don't let them know after the fact. Every once in awhile invite them to come along. This way they will eventually learn/understand that they are not in your tight group of friends. Some people just don't click.

Answer 7

You think about Columbine High School and what the "unpopular guys " did after being cut out and made fun of for years. Its because of people like you that school shooting happen. you and your cool friends need to grow up and act like human beings!!

Answer 8

Get to know him. Maybe hang out with HIM sometime and see what he does for fun. Who knows, you might find that you enjoy playing D&D. Besides, I bet he's way smarter than you and could be a lot of help on your homework.

Answer 9

Tell him frankly that all the others including yourself doesn't want him in the group maybe he will understand and if you cant tell him then bear him as you told he is ok type

Answer 10

you don't.

if you want to be shallow and go with a crowd instead of being an idividual just walk up and tell them face to face. Even if they are not popular they have feelings, and you never know, your party may make them popular after people get to know who they are.