What are the tricks to getting people to like you?

Question

I am a good looking female, I'm very shy and I don't smile much. These 3 things have really screwed up peoples perception of me.

I don't smile much, not because I'm miserable or anything.... But its mostly due to nerves. I feel uncomfortable around new people, I'm still not really sure why. But this makes me come off like I'm very stuck on myself and unfriendly which is actually far from the truth once you get to know me. I feel so rude, because sometimes people will actually look right at me and smile and I just stare and them because I'm too nervous to smile back. I know it sounds very strange, but it actually happens.

How can I fix this problem? Has anyone else experienced the same kind of thing? I used to have a lot of friends, and I was extremely confident in social situations and it just flowed through me. But now I'm having to work my way to get back up there. Any advice would be helpful, thank you :)

Answer 1

you gotta practise being in touch with your feelings before you can change things like that

ya sound like you mite of had some problems getting love, or u were hurt in someway and that ur being over critical to yourself, and blaming urself

people who are blank, unsmiling, or even who dun even get angry or sad are usualli because they were punished or laughed at when showing emotion.

baby ur emotions, if you want to heal. stop blaming youself for the seeming low in social flow. and yeah you dun have to be nice to everybody. and yes it is sometimes hard for a pretty girl. if you smile at everybody it wil be just as hard =P

so just love ur self first.

Answer 2

This is a matter of insecurity. You don't have confidence in yourself and it's showing. There isn't any harm in returning a smile, be sure of that. If someone tries to start a conversation with you, go with it. Talk. This is how new friends are made. Now understand that I'm the opposite. I can start a conversation with anyone, anywhere and be totally comfortable. Consequently, I have a lot of friends all of whom say they were first attracted to my great personality. Allow yourself to let your show. The more friends you make, the easier it becomes but you've gotta start with one. I'll bet you're a total sweetheart but you have to let everyone else know it too.

Answer 3

If you're not comfortable around new people, that's gonna be a big road block. Smiling is the best way to tell others "hey, I'm nice and I think you're also nice enough to deserve my smile."
That's the first step. The next is to just go with what feels right to you. If they seem interested in you, always return the favor. If they are intimidated by you, why not prove to them that you're actually fun to be with instead of making them think you're a total wreck.

TRUST ME...I've been there.

Answer 4

Are you my long lost twin sister by any chance!?

I've got the perfect solution for you! Have you ever heard of a man called 'Norman Vincent Peale'? (he's dead now about 20 years so you may not have) but he's got a book called 'The power of positive thinking'..quite an oldie but it's so beneficial and if you apply it to your daily life.. your future will take a turn for the better..

There's a certain chapter called 'How to get people to like you'.. (may not be the exact wording') one of the best chapters in the book. It's also a christian book cause you're gonna need a friend to rely on and get you on your way! (ie. God)

Good luck, check it out - it's was a best-seller when it first came out..

Answer 5

It's interesting that you used to have confidence, but it's gone away. I wonder what happened? If there is one thing you can put your finger on, it may be helpful for you to work through the issues from that thing for some relief. Sometimes life changes bring on a shyness that wasn't there at an earlier time, and I am a huge advocate of short-term psychotherapy (talking it out with a therapist) to get to the source and resolve that. It's a great resource for any rough spots in life. If there is something like a social phobia that has kicked in, a therapist can work with your physician to get you on a short course of meds that help with social phobia. Sometimes that's enough to give you time to practice feeling comfortable with new behaviors you learn in therapy and then can go off them. It's a good one-two punch to get rid of an uncomfortable thing like social discomfort, which can affect a lot of things for your whole life, if not resolved. Good for you for looking for a way to do that!

Meanwhile, from just a practical standpoint, I have always found that showing interest in another person puts the spotlight on them, off of me, helps me feel more comfortable, and makes them feel interesting and important. That's kind of the key, I think, to good social skills--making the other person feel that you are interested. At first it can be something you have to force yourself to do, but after that initial ice-breaking exchange, I'm always amazied at the interesting things I learn about and from other people.

The key for me is taking some time to prepare what to say, like an ice breaker question. It doesn't have to be profound. It can be something you think about each day, as you get your shower, or each week, as you lie in bed and wake up on your day off. It can be tied to the shared things among people, like this week, "Are you ready for the holidays?" or "What are you doing for the holidays?" These kinds of questions usually will get the other person off and running, and then you can share your own answers.

It all comes down to a one on one exchange, initially. After you get comfortable doing this with one person at a time, you can use your confidence to expand to a bigger group.

Hope that helps!

Answer 6

You have social anxiety. It is VERY common. To overcome this you have to experience relationships with others and get use to people being around, to achieve this you have to get out of your "shell". You cannot trick someone into liking you. You should NEVER feel as if you should. Just be yourself and try to allow yourself to be in social situations. Small talk is everything with strangers, try relating something with yourself to them.
Example: This guy I was attracted to wore a Third Eye Blind jacket, what I could of said was "Hey I like Third Eye Blind too!"

You also said you have experienced having friends and such, it sounds to me something really effected you and its just something you have to get over.
Make yourself confident. The first step is believing that you are confident!

Answer 7

It sounds like Agoraphobia, you may want to seek counciling . I think there may be medication availible. Its nothing to feel ashamed about and could become a serious problem if left untreated. I have heard of cases so severe that people have actually had axienty attacks just from the thought of leaving their homes or room.

Answer 8

No tricks, if you need tricks it ain't real and neither are you, period and that is why you need friends. To tell you the truth it sounds like you are mega normal, especially in todays world where people don't know how to function normally because of the internet instead of being outside with the three dimentional people. Tell you what, I'll be your friend and we can talk about all this stuff, be my friend?

Answer 9

yeah i used to be like that very sociable but times change gotta work it way up there.
but yeah rather then an anchorless people pleaser at the end feeling disappointed, just be yourself.. really. life's short meet those you feel comfortable with.

if there really is a sure fire proven method behind this, then presidents wouldn't have so low consensus ratings. everyone's entitled to their own believes, some like them, some won't; but just go and find those that understands you.

Answer 10

First, you must start trusting YOU again. I went through something similar and I realized it had to start with me....I took a piece of paper and printed the word ME on it and hung it on my mirror. I then set about to discover me again...my good qualities and I began to develop these qualities. When I started having faith in me it showed. My confidence rose and that SMILE came back out from hiding...ready to trust again. Hope this helps.....