why do we stil go out together and sleep together if there is no love there i wonder if he does love me He says we just don't get along except on the bed I think that is an excuse. I don't know what to do i love him but want the divorce because he does is there any hope and is it wrong to sleep with him giving our situation i feel weird about it but like sex with him.
2007-12-20 00:00:16 · 26 answers · asked by poo~poo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
His hot and cold attitude is driving me nuts we sleep together go out around town then he won't call for a week or answer my calls i go to his house and he is just sitting there everytime so he is not cheating.
2007-12-20 00:01:48 · update #1
You're adults (I assume) so it's only your business who you have sex with.
However, your post doesn't give any indication he desires to reconcile so if that's your hope, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
2007-12-20 00:03:54 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not uncommon for divorced or divorcing spouses to sleep together at least once after the split. It's comfortable. But this is an ongoing situation.
First of all, you have to understand that, for some men, sex and love are two different things. The fact that he sleeps with you does not mean that you have even a smidgen of hope that he won't divorce you. So if that's why you're doing it, give it up.
It's clear that this situation is hurting you more than a clean split would. So, you need to tell him that he has to choose. You will not sleep with him (or provide any other marital services, like cooking, cleaning, and laundry) unless he drops the divorce. He must be either in or out. Even if he chooses out, you're way better off, because you will know what direction you're going.
Good luck!
2007-12-20 00:09:01 · answer #2 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the courts got ahold of this action especially during divorce proceedings, these divorce proceedings will be ordered stopped by the Judge so be carefulof what youre doing. Its obvious he only wants you for one thing and not all the responsibilities that go along with marital sex. Youre not a sex object and definitely deserve much better than this sex starved hound dog. Get the divorce and sue him for anything youre legally entitled to and move on and find a real man more suited to you. Stop the sex encounters immediately if you want a divorce. Good luck and Happy Holidays
2007-12-20 00:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong to sleep with him if that is what both of you want and you realize that it isn't drumming up any old feelings. I mean if you two are satisfying each others needs sexually but you couldn't nurture each other in other ways to keep your marriage working then at least you are taking the best out of the situation. Just realize that is all it is and it isn't about love. It is about sex. If having sex with him is keeping you from going on your own and seeing other people then you need to quit, but if you can separate the two then you will be fine.
2007-12-20 00:34:35 · answer #4 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think these things happen. I'm not married but was in a 4 year relationship that went sour over the years. We split, I moved out and then, yeah, same scenario as you.... It's been two months now and I think that sometimes, no matter how far gone you are, if you truly want it to work, it can. Just be careful you don't confuse sex=love, because it doesn't. If you're ok with booty call, by all means, just don't fall in the trap where he moves on and you are still expecting your weekly rendezvous'.....
2007-12-20 00:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by katzy691 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this but if you are getting a divorce based on a separation for six months, 1 year or whatever your state requires, you no longer have grounds for the divorce. Separated means no sleeping together. You both sound really conflicted. Have you tried counseling? It sounds like you both are confused. And sleeping together just adds more confusion. Either you are going to try to work on the marriage or go your separate ways. but by continuing to deal with each other, you will never get the clarity to separate your heart from this situation. I think he does love you but it is easier to say we make good bed partners but don't get along than it is to say let's make this work.
Even if he won't go, get counseling for yourself to decide what you want to do and how to move forward either with him or without him.
2007-12-20 00:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by CGordo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs some therapy! He can't see that you love him, and he is taking you for granted. If you can't sit down and seriously talk to him about your feelings and have him listen to what you want in the relationship, then perhaps the divorce is for the best. I wouldn't contact him if you go through with separating, because then he knows he can have you regardless, married or not, at the drop of a hat. You'll always come off second best in a relationship where one dominates the other.
2007-12-20 00:06:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This has happened to several people I know. Some have had an agreement that they would continue to have sex, until one or the other found another relationship. I guess if that works for you, that's your decision. But I really dont think this is very healthy. Especially if you still have feelings for him, which I think you do. If he will not budge on the divorce, then I would end this "friends with benefits" arrangement.
2007-12-20 00:30:11 · answer #8 · answered by julie A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a bf with a similar attitude once, made me very unhappy. After we broke up, (about 1 and 2 yrs later) he said he´d made a mistake and I was the woman of his life, didn´t even look like he meant it.
He doesn´t seem the type of person who´d make you happy, more like the opposite. If you think that´s the case.
If I were you I´d try to find a decent man, who is there for you.
2007-12-20 00:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by Sheldon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's wrong for you. You need to let go and move on. Having sex with him is only hurting you, not helping. If you want the divorce, then get one and leave him alone. Who cares if he is seeing someone else or not. The problem is, you are married to him and he acts like he is just dating you. And even that is only when he feels like it. You don't have a marriage.
2007-12-20 00:05:19 · answer #10 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hearing you out made no difference. It's still none of your business to get your ex divorce papers. It's up to him to make the decision to divorce his wife, not you. He's said you can't be friends. Stay out of it and let him deal with his own problems. If he is unhappy but chooses to stay, it's his fault.
2016-05-25 03:54:27 · answer #11 · answered by jeniffer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋