How can you become an assassin?

Answer 1

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!"

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions.

He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Answer 2

Firstly, you try for kindergarten and a good one is the Iraqi Shi'ite Pre-School in Basra; you can get the full address from the office of the returning General in command of the British forces.

Next, you can enrol in primary school and here I can only recommend the Palestinian Al-Killa Primary School in the Gaza Strip. Details from the Israeli embassy.

After that comes secondary school, of which there are several.
There used to be an excellent one in Libya, which had many outstanding pupils, but this has recently closed. The school of choice at the moment appears to be the Al-Qaida Grammar School, somewhere in Afghanistan, but I'm not sure of it's location. Again the Israelis may be able to help. Many pupils from here pass over to the other side for the ceremony of the 15 virgins. This, unfortunately, has turned out to be fictitious, but nonetheless still attracts many new scholars.

If you are still alive after all of this, then you can go on to attend university and do a course in Assassination: its applications in modern life (BEd) or Assassination and the Quantum Theory in Bomb Making (BSc). Universities available are the Sho'tem Bang Bang University in Myanmar, the Blowm'up College of Further Kamikaze in Damascus and my personal recommendation, the Gunbinladen University in Tehran, run by the original M'ahd Mullah himself.

Alternatively, you could apply to MI6 and get yourself a Double 0 classification.

Answer 3

Becoming a proffessional hitman can come about in a couple of different ways. Ex-army snipers are 'head-hunted' by various criminal organisations. Another way it happens is by being trained up within the organisation itself.

Answer 4

Start as a litter picker at McDonalds. (attitude training)
Stare dispassionately at your grandma.
Point your finger at people on TV and make "pow" noises.
Make a list of people who deserve to be shot more than you do (this may prove difficult)
Ping an elastic band across a crowded room.
Find some insipid cause to believe in (this cannot be you)

Answer 5

Go to E Bay. type in Sniper rifle under Buy it Now. Get some practice on a PS2 game first, then shoot the B*********

Answer 6

build a resamay the same as eney job.
and go talk to ppl. like black water
or maybe Little more seedy types

Answer 7

you just start killing people for money you'd eventualy become an assasin instead of a mercinary

Answer 8

Buy a ninja suit

Answer 9

get to know a mob boss and tell him you would like to do some favors for him

Justin

Answer 10

Well, step one would be stealth - so yelling about isn't going to get you anywhere is it?