For some reason, I highly value my Mom's opinion when it comes to what she thinks about me. I'm Gay, and am absolutely comfortable with it. However, I don't believe my Mom would be too thrilled if she knew. She is a very religious mormon who believes that homosexuality is a sin and that Gays and Lesbians shouldn't have the same marriage rights that heterosexuals do. We've had this discussion many times during the last few years and the vibe I got from her was very strong. She doesn't agree with homosexuality at all.
I love my Mom very much and I want her to be able to look at me and say she loves me for me; and not for who I've been pretending to be. She's one of the most important people in my life and I am scared that she won't accept me, or that she will think I am psychologically screwed up. She possibly might try to get me 'help'. (I realize you can't force someone to love you)
My question to you is;
What is the easiest, non threatening, way to come out to my mom? Any ideas
2007-12-19 21:17:33 · 15 answers · asked by I'm forgetting what? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
my mother is very religious too (i bought her a bible for christmas, amongst other things) my mother and i had issues at first when i told her i was a lesbian but after gettin over whatever she was thinkin about the situation she realized that i was still the same child she loved before i told her and that nothing changed she just became aware. now she asks me how are my g/fs and who do i talk to now and i even ask her advice about my relationships.
when i told my mother i just sat her down and told her that i had something to tell her about myself and before i could even get it out she was like "what your gay?" and the convo juss took off from there.
2007-12-19 21:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes we know mom's background... she thinks that eveything is phycological. She will probably try to get you "help" again. Well, you don't need "help" because there is nothing wrong with you. I understand how difficult it is to try to talk to mom abotu things she doesn't agree with (like when I got pregnant and wasn't married). Like some of these people have said, moms have a 6th sense. She probably all ready has an idea that you are gay and is just waiting for you to confirm it. I think you should tell her everything you jusy wrote. You wrote it in such a sweet way. She would be so happy to see how much you value her opinion. She really doesn't think you like her very much. She feels like she is of no importance to you. I really believe that after telling her how you feel and coming out, the two of you could have a better and stronger relationship. It might take a while though. You know I am behind you 100% and I always will be. If you need anything I am here for you.
2007-12-20 18:29:52 · answer #2 · answered by e_babe86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the October 2007 Ensign is an excellent article by Elder Jerffrey R. Holland about homosexuality. The church has also recently released a book called "God Loveth His Children" about this issue, which you can download from www.lds.org/same-gender-attraction.
Perhaps the simplest thing would be to use these to open a discussion with your mother. This shows respect for her beliefs, reinforces the Church's view that she should love and accept you as you are, and may help to break the ice.
Good luck.
2007-12-21 19:28:40 · answer #3 · answered by sunnyannie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your difficulty.
I was raised strict Catholic and never did "come out" to my parents, nor anyone else until after they died.
I SO regret this.
It would greatly depend on your particular circumstances and how you believe your Mom will react.
I can give very little advice except PLEASE you need to NOT live a lie.
There are 2 orginizations that just might possibly help with some answers for you.
1) Gay and Lesbian Acceptance -
"GALA is an assocication of gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight persons, their families and friends of the Community of Christ (formerly the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) faith community."
2) Gay Mormon LDS Reconciliation
( A resource for gay mormon men, women and their families)
LDS Reconciliation affirms the spirituality of Gays and Lesbians and seeks to provide a safe haven for individuals with a Latter-day Saint background to discuss the gospel of Jesus Christ. Being gay mormon or gay LDS, whether man or woman, can be difficult to reconcile. Gay reconciliation within christianity is possible and LDS Reconciliation can help you put being gay mormon into perspective. This site is not only for you as a gay mormon but for your families as well, to open up dialog and begin the understanding of what being gay mormon is and how gay reconciliation and gay spirituality can be achieved in a gospel of love.
(Forgive me for not being able to offer anything more.)
2007-12-20 05:50:51 · answer #4 · answered by roccopaperiello 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should talk to her. There's really no other way. Face it. If she really loves you, then she should accept who you really are. She shouldn't force you to do anything. If I was gay, my parents would probably be exactly the same. But I always tell myself it's sooner than later. It's always easier to come clean before it becomes too late. Sooner or later she has to accept the truth. I think, if she truly loves you, she'll understand though i can imagine it's hard. I think you need to show her that you are happy as who you are. Tell her, just as you did here on yahoo, how much you love her and how important she is. You guys could try going to organizations or something where professionals could help your mother and you from this situation too. Good luck!!
2007-12-20 05:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by aji 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't have these discussions without reason and your mother knows it.
So she most likely suspects it already (mothers have a sixth and seventh sense for lots of things), but she won't be too thrilled on actually having to deal with it.
Right now she can still ignore it. If you come out you make that outright impossible.
2007-12-20 06:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by mgerben 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the "easiest" way is to have a heart to heart talk with her and tell her the truth. It would not be easy actually but it is the best way that you can do under the circumstances. She won't be happy but mothers love their children unconditionally, no matter who and what they are.
2007-12-20 05:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sexual orientation has nothing to harm your mother love for your. In case she gets upset that will be because she has never anticipated it for you. You should not be afraid of her being judgmental. I know you have fears for her getting hurt but as the time go by she will come to terms with you.
The best way is to remind her how she has stood by you in rough times and how she has always encouraged to become an honest man....here is real you and if you do not admit it to your mom you will feel guilty of being dishonest to yourself and to her.....it will take time but it will work.
All de best!!!!!
2007-12-20 05:28:20 · answer #8 · answered by Nav 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why hurt your mother with news of your sexuality--when doubts exist she'll discover it? If there's NO way she'll know this truth about you--why even tell her?
Some things are best kept unsaid.
2007-12-20 05:22:12 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Act like ur not gay? L0L
no, she will love u no matter wut, ur her son or daughter w/e
if she duznt accept u, that just means u should never worried about he in the first place
shes NOT worth it
2007-12-20 05:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by viv 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋