please revise this short pargarph please its urgent plz thank you?

Question

When listening carefully one will notice that when young children have acquired a new language, their speech often does not bear the same accent that their parents do. In fact, they bear no "foreign accent" at all. According to a recent study, young immigrant students are more likely to speak a new language with the same diction as native speakers. However, those who learn later in life usually have accents no matter how hard they study. There are reasons why young students master the pronunciation of another language in a short time. Youth like exposure to new things. They listen to the foreign language on television or radio and imitate the speech of the actors. On the other hand, senior students have a habit of watching their favorite shows and listening to music in their own familiar language. Hence, there is a huge gap of experience with the language between the two groups. For instance, I study both Spanish and French as second languages

Answer 1

When listening carefully to them, it is noticed that young children have acquired a new language. Their speech patterns don't bear the same accents that their parents have. In fact, the children bear no semblance of a foreign accent at all. According to a recent study, young immigrant students are more likely to exhibit a similar speech pattern as native speakers. Those who are a part of learning later in their lives, still maintain their accents at some level or other. Incentives are usually very deep within a young student. This is why they have the capacity to learn and at a very fast pace as well. With exposure to television, radio and the "natives" in their new habitat, the learning process is accelerated. Many students find their favorite shows on television and imitate the voices heard on this programming. This leaves an immense gap wherein experience and language should be correlated. I know, because I study both Spanish and French as second languages.

I wish you well. Peace, Love and God Bless.

Answer 2

young people learn foreign languages more quickly than those of higher age.This is because they have good exposure to learn new languages.old people being hard -workers do not master the accent as well as the young people do.

Answer 3

I think you could find a better pairing of words to compare than "youth" and "senior students."
Maybe, children-teenagers...
Oh and def the two whens in the first sentence...

Answer 4

This is a great paragraph. I think it would sound a little bit better though if you changed 'one will notice' to 'you will notice' in the begining.

Answer 5

When listening carefully, one will......(etc.)

Sounds good to me. Good job. Take care.