What should I do about my best friend's engaged-to-be-married Boyfriend?

Question

They are bound by a child together and even though I believe it's not right, they play like they love each other.

Now the problem, I stay over sometimes and her bf likes to play w/my hair, harass me while I walk and attempts to cuddle with me when we go to bed. He likes me, he always has, as much as I don't want to, I've developed a crush on him for all the things she doesn't see, I really do. Before they had their kid, she cheated on him, which I believe, created this child out of his desperation to keep her. Now, he just looks fed up and she seems sad over what her life has become.

I've decided to not act upon what I feel but what if they break up? The kid being involved makes everything seem pathetic, like I'm tearing apart a family that I was like an aunt to.

Any helpful words? ANY one?

Answer 1

I would first of all tell my friend. EVERYTHING (well... your choice whether you want to tell her that you have feelings for him) Dont' let your friend throw her life away because she's in a fantasy world or trying to convince herself that he's a good guy. Just because you have a child together... wow... that is probably THE worst reason to get married if there is nothing deeper. It won't work and if you know that ahead of time and still let your friend go through with it... what kind of friend would that make you? It's like watching your friend speed towards a brick wall and sitting in silence instead of warning her. She may choose not to listen or believe you... that's her call... but you need to do what you can.
As far as you being attracted to him... You need to decide who you value more him or your best friend. As the principle rule her guy should be off limits entirely whether they are currently together or not. (Unless it's LONG after AND you've cleared it with her) But the heart also wants what it wants. If you truly love him... you can't help who you love. But know that if you do this... you probably will lose that friendship. No one can fault you for following your heart... just think about it long and hard before you decide whether or not this guy is worth all the good times you've had with your bf ... all the times you will have... and all the time you will miss helping her with her child...
I'm sorry that you're in such a hard situation... and there really is not simple answer... but I hope this helps a little. Good Luck and Keep your chin up!

Answer 2

It is hard to tell if u want the bf for Ur self or what .... here...

U really need to butt out..
doesn't matter where the kid came from.. it is not for u to start something up...
unless u just want the bf..
and if they make it they.. do.. and if not.. well .. then they gave it a try..
for the baby..
if she told u the baby is not his.. then that is different.. but until then.. u need to stay out of it..
and he is just playing u.. he has her or he would leave with u..
so.. don't play his game. u will lose in the end.
good luck,.. happy holidays

Answer 3

You need to do what you gotta do. Their relationship not working out is not your fault, and when you love someone, there's no greater feeling. I've had a similar experience the one thing you should not do, is wait to see what happens. Take the initiative. If things look bleak in the relationship talk to him. The sooner it ends, the better things will eb (for the child too)