I mean..
Why do we expect them to know exactly how we feel, what exactly we want and things like that ??
2007-12-19 18:24:45 · 26 answers · asked by Brilliant Queen (BQ)_forever !!! 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well, I think it´s not because of the fact we´re in love with that person.
It´s more likely that it´s because we usually wait big time before we find someone that we think is right for us and we imagine how it will be like and get our expectations up.
Not a good thing if you ask me, because these high expectations put pressure on the person we love and that can mess the whole reationship up. I think it´s better to relax a little and let things come to u in time so the person can act on his own. This way we will probably even be haüüier because we know that things are happening because our partner wants it to happen and is doing things not just because of the knowledge of our expectations.
P.S. Putting pressure on a person just because of our own hopes often seems pretty selfish to me. Because we spend so much time thinking about what we want to happen.
So when you really love someone genuinely it should be all about that person...and not all about you. At least that´s the ideal....
SO keep cool fellas =)
2007-12-19 18:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not sure if this applies to us men also.
But do tend to think the person in love with should know what would make you happy or sad, read your mind, know if what they are doing or going to do, is likely to upset you, and if you are upset then they should know why without you telling them.
And if you have done loads for them, some appreciation would not go amiss.
But sadly sometimes, "like one of answers you have been given" suggests, they may not feel the same way too.
Some just like to use others.
Sure you know lots of stories about this.
People can be venerable when deeply in love. Some men like a girl that way, but some woman are even wiser, and know they do, so they flaunt it all the more.
As for me, I think I will just stay with my cat Poe.
*******
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A symbol of justice and freedom
the mechanisms of war against imperialism
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*******
Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!
2007-12-20 02:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Projection. If we love someone, we project love feelings on them, thinking they feel the same. We project our attitude (like: i care a lot and I'm ready to do a lot of things for her sake) the same attitude is expected from her; for no logical reason.
Again, i think it is more useful to expect less from the others and more from ourselves, and to deal objectively with everything around.
Example: Don't you feel that your teddy-bear loves you and feels lonely when is left in a dark corner, instead of being hugged at night? Although it is an emotionless piece of cloth and cotton .. the same goes with what you're asking; we don't think objectively
ADD:I can say that in love, there are a lot of expectations. Actually, people seldom notice that they love their "expectations" rather than this person of flesh and blood. We love the image we project on them. They become a kind of screen on which we project our own hopes . We are far from being in real communication with them. We are not aware of them, nor of their needs; we are taken by the enchantment to that extent; enchantment made by our own reality distorting prisms. We are in love with what they are "SUPPOSED" to be, and not with what they are for real. That's what makes us live our whole lives not knowing the reality of things, alienated from people who are the most intimate to us, yet the most estrangered, probably.
2007-12-20 11:33:50 · answer #3 · answered by Psychological Moment 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We love a person when we are attracted to that person for no reason at all.
It might be physical attraction Or attracted when both of us are in same frequencies.This brings two person into a union.
We think the other person has the same likes & dislikes & also thinks he likes us a lot.
We expect them to be always the same even if it is physical attraction.But we realize that is not the same, very late.
It's all the mind's game.
2007-12-20 08:28:40 · answer #4 · answered by lalachi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Love" is an exchange of self, and in its most wonderful expression, we give to each other more than we expect in return - and feel uplifted, empowered and enhanced by the regard and response of the other.
There are a couple of outstanding books that discuss this exhcnage quite well. Erich Fromm's "the Art of Loving," now about 45 years in print, is superb. The psychological effects are exceptionally well discussed by an author whose works I generally don't much like - Dr. John Gray. "Mars and Venus in the Bedroom" happens to make great sense of the psychology of sex.
What you describe is more an expression of insecurity and needs. Lots of people feel this, and often blame their significant others for failing to understand. It is important you TELL him, not that he is disappointing and upsetting you, but that you FEEL this and what it is you need. Remember, even a close and caring lover is NOT a mind-reader. Being able to express your needs and hopes is a sign of trust and commitment.
Good luck!
2007-12-20 07:58:16 · answer #5 · answered by Der Lange 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We shouldn't do that, because true love does not depend on getting something in return. But, as we are all human beings, we expect something from the other person.
2007-12-20 02:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you feel this tremendous love for someone, you would like them to give back as much as you put in, unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way.
Sometimes it doesn't matter how long you love someone, or how much you put in to that relationship, sometimes you get very little back.
Love can hurt an awful lot.
2007-12-20 12:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by Loxie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is your Trump Card
If you have used it on some one you expect to come up TRUMPs that is a WINNER and expect them to feel the same and reciprocate. which in normal circumstances would be the result,
But when this doesn't happen or they don't reciprocate we should check within our self whether what we are giving is great in their eyes (Put your self in their shoes) may be what they are getting from us they don't feel great about it or don't even know you are showering the same on them or may be they are plain insensitive
BQ Try to shower the same on me it would be reciprocated
2007-12-20 06:34:18 · answer #8 · answered by Deepak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you love them and expect them to secretly love you back. So, you think that they will go to the ends of the Earth just to make you happy. But, you're just imagining it.
2007-12-20 02:30:24 · answer #9 · answered by The Answerer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love and expectation go together.Once you love somebody, you naturally expect lot of things from him .....this is true for the other person too.Who else can fulfill your expectations.A person who is hardly close to you is not the one you expect anything from.
2007-12-20 02:29:47 · answer #10 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋