Do you respect Emotional Integrity to the same Degree you Respect the Right to Differing Views?

Question

This is a curious question which belongs really nowhere, so I ask it here where many of you are known tome.

When someone says "I feel" and then goes on to explain what they feel..

do you respect it in the same way you might if they said

"I think" and then went on to explain?

However bright we are, whatever frameworks of understanding we build with our intelligence, do we respect feelings enough?

Feeling make choices. We often put our intellect at the service of our feelings. To me that is called politics.

It doesn't matter how clever you are, or whether you can convince others to be part of the plan. When someone says "I feel" it is a demand to be treated as an equal because the same capacity to feel and experience exists. Even if I may not agree.

Do you respect Emotional Integrity to the same Degree you Respect the Right to Differing Views?

Answer 1

I respect the right of individuals to feel the way they feel. And for a few, I greatly respect their intuition with respect to things, so when they tell me they "feel" something I take notice. I rely pretty heavily on my gut feelings about things, as well. They haven't led me too far astray, so I understand that others' feelings can be highly instructive. That said, I think people are more reactive with their feelings. So when somebody says "I feel" this or that, the context is really important. Somebody's feelings really can't be challenged. They feel the way they feel. But the decisions made or actions taken as a result of feelings alone can certainly be suspect. It depends very much on the person and the situation.

Answer 2

Permit me to reword. Do I respect emotional response to the same degree as intellectual response?

I try to understand feelings and because they are subjective and based on experience, I don't invest energy in trying to point out any error I might see. I will debate about an issue from an intellectual base. If you can change a mind, then the emotions which are in service to that, might also change.

"I feel" is often used to mean "I think." You must decide what the person is expressing. I have seen debates where the two opinions were held intellectually and emotionally and that accounted for the heated nature and the inability to compromise.

You can understand thought. You must empathize with feeling. It is easier to do the first, so I think that I respect emotional response more, and am less likely to challenge that.
C. :)!!

Answer 3

This is an interesting question because it's caused me to examine how I value emotional versus intellectual feedback.

I suspect that the value I allocate to emotional feedback depends on the situation. If we're talking about something that is considered subjective, such as opinions about a restaurant, or your initial impressions of a new person at your office, then it might be a lot easier to discuss it in terms that don't require empirical proof. ("I feel" statements simply being the product of your emotional responses and requiring little outside corroboration.) In these situations, the result is a cumulative pooling of opinions and not necessarily something requiring action.

However, in an instance where there is a metric for deciding on a right or wrong answer, I might take feelings into consideration, but I probably won't make my decision on them.

For instance, two candidates are in front of me for a promotion to senior account director (there are several at any time in my line of work). Both have five years' middle management experience and both have similar degrees.

However, Candidate A has managed a large team on several different types of accounts, and B has only managed one small team on one account. I need someone with a specific experience history that encapsulates all of A's accounts, so I promote A.

B says to me, "I feel like I should have been promoted, because I believe I've done what's required and I feel like I've been loyal and worked hard for the same amount of time." Emotionally, I may sympathize with B's frustration. I could also understand that the jobs B chose may not have lined them up for the same opportunities. But, intellectually and empirically, I know that B just did not meet part of the specific criteria for promotion.

So I can respect that B's feelings of frustration are valid, and advise them to try for another, more suitable promotion, but I can't attribute more weight to their feelings than to the requirements of the task I have to fulfill.

Answer 4

(BIG EDIT : I just realised that I didn't answer your question .. just went about answering ... SORRY ,guess that's what happens when you start answering questions when you're tired :) sorry )

answering Honestly .. NOT ALWAYS ..

there are some things That i can accept differing opinions .. and I will even argue that i can understand such opinions despite not agreeing with them .....

HOWEVER .. when it comes to ethics and morality .. there are some things that based on what I believe and feel .. that I simply can not respect the right to hold such a differing opinion ...

to explain .. I will give two examples ..

If a person was to say to me that they believed that their should be no legal minimum of age of consent( infact if they said that they believed a very small child could be enaged in adult behaviour..... I COULD NOT accept their right to hold such an opinion .....and I would argue like nothing you have seen with them about How I felt their opinion was wrong ....

another example involves the settling of a family estate .. under no circumstance could I support the opinion of one relative who believes another ( n.b a loyal caring and loving ) family member is NOT entitled to a share in that estate...While I may not want to risk upsetting other family members .. I can guarantee my actions would be indication enough to show that I have NO respect for their opinion ( and this is something I have done ... )

If it is a matter of politics or economics . .while I might engage in a debate .. most times I will think " yeah that's ok I disagree .. but THAT'S YOUR OPINION "

I know you shouldn't judge or condemn .. and most times I won't if it only affects me .. BUT if it affects somebody else . .either somebody who is vunerable or somebody deserving .. THEN i become intolerant of SOME opinions

Answer 5

In all honesty, I probably honor emotional integrity to a higher degree than intellectual integrity. When someone says "I think" than it is almost always an opening to debate an issue on which I disagree or to explore new areas, ect. However, since it is almost impossible to debate a person's feelings (for right or wrong, they are what they are) when someone says "I feel" that is the end all for me. I will question why a person feels a certain way, see if they can explain what experiences led to those emotions. In the end though, I feel wins out over I think any day.

Answer 6

Interesting question! In a general sense, I “respect” the rights of someone to have different feelings and/or opinions than me.

But to be honest, I can have trouble respecting someone whose “feelings” on a matter are so far off base that I can’t understand how they came up with that. An example would be someone who feels that someone in an opposing political party is stupid or narrow-minded. There’s no logic in the stereotyping of anyone.

Now regarding someone’s intellectual ideas, I may also have trouble respecting how they can logically come up with their opinion. Keeping this in the political realm, an example would be for someone to vote for a particular candidate based on opinion polls (group think), and not by examining that candidate’s platform.

Answer 7

The very words "I feel" are words of cushioning so as not to cause another to feel attacked upon, such wonderful words I feel. Do I respect emotional integrity to the same degree that I respect the right to differing views? Yes. He person says how he feels and must also accept the different views. Never say anything unless you can carry the weight of your own viewpoint.

Answer 8

I respect them to the same degree, but I don't treat them as the same thing. The term "I think" implies a logical process to attain a goal. If this logic is flawed, then the remainder of the thought can be considered to be flawed.

However, emotions are neither right or wrong, since they aren't based on logic, but on personal choice. If someone insults me, I can choose to ignore it, or respond aggressively, or pout in a passive-aggressive sulk. None of these responses can be called illogical. And since emotion doesn't have an underlying logic, it must threfore be an arbitary choice. We decide when we are to become sad. Or aggressive. Or loving. If insulted, I could become combative and punch them - or tolerant and patient with them. The choice is mine - no one can cause me to feel anything.

Answer 9

I see no difference really, in what a person expresses, no matter whether they preface it with the word "feel" or the word "think." This delineation owes more to semantic nit-picking than to anything substantive.

What bothers me is so many people - perhaps even a majority - are not saying anything in either case that comes from their own (often woefully inadequate) ability to make judgements of their own, and involves merely parroting what they've been told to think and/or feel by their favorite propaganda organ. Repeat it enough times and you can get Americans to believe hogs can pole vault.

Answer 10

I respect people and listen to those who's approach is open, non-combative, calm, rational etc. If someone is explaining a feeling or a thought, I don't think I would disrespect one over another, besides, lots of people mix the two up.