I really want to have a breast reduction but my husband is totally against it. His ex-girlfriend had one and he said "they" were never the same again. I have always had larger breasts. Not the largest out there by any means, but way too much for my short body. I have to be careful about what kind of shirt I wear because that can REALLY affect how they look. I have to buy sturdy bras because the cheaper ones don't last long. I have to buy button-down shirts a size bigger so there aren't any gaps. Sometimes they do make my back hurt and they feel like they're pulling me down.
He swears that if I lose weight "they" will shrink. I don't believe it. In highschool I was about 130 lbs. and was in a 36C or D. Now, 12 years later, I am a 44DD. I am 5'2" and about 200 lbs. I don't look like I weigh that much because all of my weight is in my stomach and my breasts.
He said he isn't going to have any input on this topic, but I want to look into it. What should I do?
2007-12-19 18:14:52 · 9 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This could and would probably ruin our relationship. Yes, he is THAT adamant about this because he feels I should leave my body the way God made me. I am sick of these heavy things though. Maybe I won't look so top heavy if I get rid of them. I honestly want to be an A or B cup, that is after I lose some of my stomach.
2007-12-19 18:15:57 · update #1
If your goal is to lose your stomach anyhow, and you said that they were about a C or D when you were 130, then maybe you should try to do it his way and get them back down my losing weight. That way you're sort of compromising. After you get to that point, if you're still miserable, then maybe he'll see that you DO in fact need it.
I think if you do it, it might make him feel as though his thoughts don't matter to you at all and that you don't care about what he feels. When you have two very opposite thoughts, sure it's going to be hard to find middle ground. However, you said you wanted to lose weight anyhow, so why not just try to do the best you can in the meantime, which you know he'll support, and hope that after getting to a C he'll agree that you do need a breast reduction. Because it's all about comfort. If you're just not happy because you have to buy a shirt that's 2 sizes too big, that's one thing. But if it's actually causing you pain, that's more of a reason to need to get a breast reduction.
Good luck!
2007-12-19 18:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
A girlfriend of mine had a breast reduction and she was very happy with it. Having such large breasts (even larger than DD) was actually hard on her physically especially her back...the only trouble was after the surgery, at first she felt like she was losing her balance because she was so used to having to lean backward!.) She got over that though and she wished she had had the surgery years before!
So I do understand from her how this can really be almost a necessity for some women. It is not just a cosmetic thing.
If your husband thinks it's "just cosmetic" or all about clothes, yeah he knows it's your body but he probably feels like he loves your big breasts and ought to have a say in it. But if he understands your breast size is having a negative impact on your health, it would be pretty selfish of him to still be against it...and hopefully he won't be like that.
But remember that every surgery carries a risk, and that might be part of your husbands concern too, Actually I think a lot of reputable doctors would say they would rather you try to get down to a healthier weight first before an elective surgery because it would be not as hard on your heart....and especially since the weight loss might make the surgery unneeded.
Between that and your husband feeling so strongly about it, I would agree with Just Some Girl--you should at least try to see if losing weight would help-- it will be healthy for you anyway and honestly it probably WILL reduce your bust size if you were like a C back when you weighed 130. If you could manage to get down to at least 150-160, and it does not work, your husband will have seen that you have truly tried a non-surgical solution and he may feel more inclined to accept the idea of surgery. Maybe at that point, a doctor who recommends the surgery could talk to him and explain the benefits.
Good luck!
2007-12-19 19:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by Ariane deR 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hell yes. If he cannot see that my back is hurting so badly that I need a reduction, then too bad.
If it ruins the relationship, then he truly is not worth it and only is there because of your breasts.
If you lose weight they MAY shrink, depending on how fatty versus how dense your breasts are. If you are overweight you may lose in the breasts while losing weight.
However if you are at a healthy weight, then no amount of working out will help you.
You need to do this for YOU. If he breaks it off because you want to improve your health, he is not worth it.
My fiance is totally supportive of my breast reduction (Feb 2006 38J to 38C).
Please look into this and get it done for you. Don't let ANYONE's opinions (including your husband) sway you from improving your health!
2007-12-20 00:14:12 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If your husband loves you he should accept you for whatever you do with your body.
Besides, a breast reduction isn't wasting away on cosmetic surgery, it's because you can end up getting severe back pain from having such large breast and being so short.
It's your decision in the end and if he changes because of it then you'll know he didn't really love you for you in the first place.
2007-12-19 18:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I had this surgery years ago,when I was in high school, and I'd do it again. I lost a little weight before the operation, but nothing came off my breasts. I'd say do it; the operation really changed my life-- I felt a lot better about myself and have much more self-confidence that I did before.
2007-12-19 18:26:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u know, my hubby would kill me if i got a reduction. i might get a lift one day when i'm older but not reduced, or if reduction is a part of that then only slightly. but i know he loves big boobs and i dont wanna mess w/ that b/c it is one of his major sexual turn ons. I wouldn't want him to change anything of his that i find arouses me. i am a 38H and yah my back hurts sometimes but they don't really bother me all that much. i love them and he loves them and i'm married to him so his input has about as much weight as mine.
if i were u i would consider trying to lose some weight instead of taking ur boobs away, that would naturally get rid of some of the boobs wouldn't it? and if my wife were to go down to an A or B cup i might just not wanna have sex w/ her anymore. that's almost pre-pubescent.
2007-12-19 18:32:16 · answer #6 · answered by Casey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go to counseling. These are some serious warning signs because what matters to you should matter to him. He is being totally selfish, and only thinking about what he wants. The world does not revolve around him, and neither should your chest. Geez, he isn't the one having to clothe them, nor is he the one complaining of back pain. Good luck!
2007-12-19 18:21:31 · answer #7 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
talk to him and instead of doing it against his will, explain it to him so he understands... and explain to him that a breast reduction will not change who you are... explain to him what you are going through and how important it is to have his support, even if he doesn't think its the best choice, and to have his understanding, because you love him and he loves you...
and if that doesn't work...
still get the reduction! lol ITS YOUR BODY.... not his
2007-12-19 19:32:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh you poor thing! He has no idea what your going thru. Grrrrrr...get the reduction. He is totally clueless.
You go girl.
2007-12-19 19:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by ellen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋