why we senior citizens are not well respected by our children?

Question

although we provided them education, fullfilled their needs in their young age, they never return us the only love&affection what we expects more from them why?

Answer 1

1st - expectations can be a 'witch' - they are always based on OUR perceptions rather than the real deal and get in the way of acceptance of loving people as they ARE and how they best show love.

2nd - Parenting is not a 'payback' arrangement. They are not OURS, but rather given to us for a time to shape them and prepare them for the future.

3rd - they are not raised to be our caretakers...if in fact, that is how they behave later in life, so be it and we are grateful, but WE are responsible for our individual happiness and for fulfilling our lives.

4th - children once grown are busy with their challenging lives...today's world is SO different than we were their ages and the stress is 4x what we had to go through....try to exercise some tolerance, patience and understanding.

My kids DO respect me...for that I am grateful and also not that surprised...because I earned their respect....I do not expect them to be there 24x7 nor do I expect them to have to shoulder the monetary burden of my care when it comes down the road, so to speak.

We're a close family and I try to nurture that by NOT making them feel they have to be all and do all for me, or to feel guilty when I don't hear from them....

I have one who I speak to mostly every day; one who I speak to intermittently, as she works two jobs and has two children [as does the first one mentioned]

and I have a son...who has no children but works 6 days a week and lives an hour away and you know how men are not good with the telly!

Cheer up....your mark is on your children and when it all 'comes out in the wash' you will know you are respected and loved.

Answer 2

Don't put all seniors under one umbrella.

My kids and I have a great relationship and mutually respect each other.

I, on the other hand, don't proffer an opinion unless I'm asked, don't expect them to call me everyday - and complain if they don't, don't complain about money or health.

My kids are fully matured adults - as am I. They have their own lives - so do I.
I have wonderful grandkids that are being raised by loving parents....
I never, ever interfere in their business - but, they know I'm always available to help if they need it.

Then, of course, I have a wonderful, full life filled with the things I love to do. I am naturally upbeat and love my life.

So, I am not a complainer. Not a drag. Always greet my kids with a smile and a hug...and ask them about THEIR day instead of complaining about mine.

Answer 3

It is simple,
No human likes to believe that they are new learners, or they are ignorant of certain things and they need others guidance. If i say that u do not know certain thing, u may feel bad, am i right?
So then the youngsters are rather more energetic and restless group and do not want to show that they a new at handling something around, and we elder people always like to give some guidance or provide some help whether someone asks or don't ask, we just want to share our experience and knowledge,,,on other hand the younger groups wants to believe that they know everything and can do everything...... and as the older people around pose the ever-correcting people, and that is what the they don't want... so why not allow the younger generation to learn their own way and get their own experience,,,,
there is no need for us to feel bad..... Only wehn we let them(the grown-ups) live their own ways they will start respecting the elders... We should have faith in what they do and do not hesitate to show your trust in them and they show the same to you...
There is a proverb saying ..' When u give respect to others, others respect us' It is just the give and take relation.........
The older people wait for the youngsters to show respect towards the elders,,,, wouldn't it be nice instead for the elders to move forward and show their respect for their grown-up?
As the children have really grownups and needs to be treated as one....

Answer 4

In the first place, it appears to be a hasty generalisation!
There are even this day many persons in thirties and forties
respecting their parents and taking good care of them.
Many old ladies have a grouse that their daughters in law were responsible for sending them to old age homes. If one has treated the daughterin law also as daughter of her own ,the other would have definitely done to them as to their own mothers.
The Blble says the tre is known by its fruits. The fruit has effects of genes of the elders. Those who have shown respect and affection to theor own elders would see with their own eye their scions do the same.
However.it must be made clear that one's life is not an exclusive thing.On the other hand, it is only a ring in the chain from the beginning to the end,The ability and strength of one depends upon those o f the early and later rings!

Answer 5

Oh DON"T GET ME STARTED!!! I love my children and I thought I raised them with good morals and values and then they went to college and they were like someone I don't know. They are part of the generation of 20 something that believe they are ENTITLED to everything they want. They feel they should only do what they want to do and feel no responsibility to their parents. They feel that they should only do what they FEEL they want to do and not what they ought to do. There is no sense of caring for their parents until they go into a nursing home and then their only concern is that it is decent, they don't want to be bothered. It just really blows me away when I think of how I was with my parents, spending time on Sunday with them, washing and waxing their cars, being their for then when they needed it and wanting more for them than just any old nursing home, Although Thank God neither of them ended up in one!! It is really sad the way 20 something look at life, and I wish I was going to be around to see how there adult children will treat them when their turn comes.

Answer 6

I'm sorry but I can't agree with you on this one. I have four adult children. Two sons, two daughters. They treat me like a queen. They show nothing but the utmost respect and love.
I have 11 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren. They all treat me so sweet. They would do anything I needed them to do, and have done so much already. I'm sorry your children have disappointed you. I hope for you all of the love and respect you no doubt deserve in the New Year.

Answer 7

Because as Baby Boomers we gave them too much.
I have a generation gap between my first 3 kids and my last 2.
The first 3 were all born in the late 60s and early 70s
and my last 2 were born in 1990 & 1991.
I grew up with a similar problem, too.
One of my brothers was 15 years older, the next one was 10 older, my oldest sister was 8 years older and my twin sister and I were born in 1948.

Answer 8

I'm very lucky, I respect my children and grandchildren and they respect me.

My 4 children, 39 to 49 years of age have never talked back to me or their dad.

We had to have discussions and show our disapproval when they were still at home.

They knew we were always there for them.

When they flew the nest, they knew they were responsible for their decisions and had to live and learn by their mistakes.

They are responsible parents and don't take their responsibility lightly.

I feel good about how they are working their way through life.

Our family has multiplied and grown to 40 people and we all depend on each other.

Answer 9

If you do not grasp their ideals, culture etc. they will not show you the respect you desire. Even if you do not agree with them, try to be somewhat open minded with today's youth, be involved.
Hey, if I don't talk to my Grandchildren because they don't call, I CALL THEM. Their lives today much busy-er than ours ever were, we may not afgree with the change, but I'm sure our parents thought the same. Don't just be a "Cash Cow" for them.

"Outta Here" is right on.

Answer 10

its not the case everywhere....when they are kids you want them to abide by what you say and do...and when they are grown up and have lives and worries of their own, then also if you bully them with ur opinions and decisions....then the life becomes tough for both....its a mutual understanding that must exist...older people should try and be aligned with what the new generation is doing and i believe no kid will want his/her parents to feel bad of his/her behavior...it happens only when the limits of obsession and suppressiona nd decision making are crossed...like the other day i was ordered by my MIL to keep a partivular fast coz she blindly believes in it...MAN why should i keep it???i dont believe in such a thing...i can pry for my hubby in a better way or other way....u neednt order me at this age of mine when i am moulded enough by my parents to be what i am today...and i am not bad...
So trust your grown kids...they have the capability to take the life ahead and when they need you, they will surely come to you for suggestions...and need will arise every now n then,..so be content with what you have given your kids right from their birth...they love you!!!