My wife and I are active duty military. We have been staioned overseas in korea for 1 year. We are now stationed in WA our problem is mainly with her parents The last time we limited her parents contact to the children they call child protective services and filed a complaint of neglect 1 day before christmas eve. Which was found to be unsubstantiated but under the law they were not allowed to tell us who filed the complaint but the grandparents admitted it later. both children have been in the temporary custody of the grandparents for 1 year because we were deployed. I need help to figure out what to do because my wife and i suspect that the children may have been brainwashed to be afraid of the other grandparents. what are our rights concerning this every time we do something they interfere i want to send the children to see a therapist to see if they can disern what has happened. They seem to want custody of my stepson not our daughter. i need help and the military can do little
2007-12-19 17:20:31 · 7 answers · asked by adasgt1981 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
i see i must clarify for some who are not in the military
1. yes korea is not a war zone but you must be command sponsered to take your children so if i was say a high ranking officer i could take them
2.to the one who states GROW SOME BALLS when CPS or child protective sevices is called you are guilty till proven innocent so hassle is fighting with them
3. the grandmother works for a law firm and is a cpa or something
4. grandparents live in south dakota
5. just reported to washington with children
2007-12-19 17:37:32 · update #1
Grow some balls dude was offensive in a certain way but I think there is a kernal of truth.... but not explained exactly right.
They tried this during the holidays? That says much so the gloves have to come off. It is your family. Sometimes you have to utterly destroy something so rebuilding and going forward can happen.
Your wife has to handle this. She needs to be no holds barred no matter how painfull. It is HER family and this SHE will make decisions. So by interfering what are their aims? To cause so much strife in dealing w. this between her and the man she loves so you breakup. So she is forced to get off active duty or the kids have to live w. them? I suspect that this is the core issue. Wanting the stepson and not the daughter says that they just flat out don't like you and want her to take a different path. If their intentions were true and you were both such bad parents would it not include both children? Going for the stepson is going for a chink in your armor. The ex would have to sign off on any court action. This is not about kids but you.... you can see it a mile away.
She needs to tell them..... no matter what she will be w. her children and you. If she later has to drop her career and be a military wife so be it. Do they want her to be divorced and hurt? She could say fine... we can get a divorce (as a ploy) and work an arrangement out. So she loses her career.
But in the end she will have all so in the end if this continues they will never see the kids again and she will NEVER forgive them.
They are trying to destroy your and your wife's life and it needs to be seen as such.
2007-12-20 05:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow some balls dude, They are your kids. Tell them if they pull another stunt like that they will never see the kids again. Even now do not allow them unsupervised visits only when you or the wife is there. Of course with that comes responsibility if you are taking money or getting free baby sitting from the grandparents you need to stand on your own feet and stop mooching,
2007-12-19 17:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by sfcjoe4d 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused. Do your children live with you now? Are the grandparents also in Washington? Is that Washington state?
If your children are with you, allow the grandparents to see them in your home or in your presence. Don't allow overnight stays outside of your home. Reconnect with your children and reinforce that you are their parents.
If you are deployed to a station where you cannot take your children, make other arrangements for their care. But if possible, take them. I don't see why you didn't take them to Korea. It isn't a war zone.
I appreciate that you and your wife are serving our country, but your children are suffering from your absence. Even if their grandparents were angels who never said a bad word about you, your children will begin to act out of a sense of abandonment. You are their parents. They need you.
If it is possible for at least one of you to leave the military to care for your children, I hope you will do that.
2007-12-19 17:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by raichasays 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, i actually sense for you . My mom substitute into so the alternative and that i've got tried to be like her. of course you could not enable her bypass , yet to nip it interior the bud as they say, tell your daughter there must be some hassle with your loved ones and you % to guard her from each and all the abuse you suffered through them. tell her you the two could celebrate with what substitute into noted on your place stay basically on your place and to not the family contributors. Write them a letter in a advantageous way and clarify that the gap and the two father and mom have reservations approximately this bypass to and you're reclining the grant , yet thank you for questioning of our daughter.
2016-12-11 09:52:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer im not sure but grandparents have little or no say in how to raise your children also im not sure but i dont think you have any say about your step son have your wife look into that hope everything works out for you!!
2007-12-19 17:31:16 · answer #5 · answered by Pacman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may need to contact a family law attorney.
2007-12-19 17:29:57 · answer #6 · answered by hamrrfan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should all seek family counseling so these kids don't have to grow up in such a dysfunctional environment.
2007-12-19 17:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋