If your loved one DIES and you do not display any sign of GRIEF....?

Question

...does it mean that you are emotionally handicapped?
You loved that person while he/she was alive but you now feel indifferent once he/she is dead; but you still treasure very much the times you spent with him/her.

This is an hypothetical question.

I am a fan of Albert Camus and Jean-Paul Sartre.

Answer 1

There are many different ways to deal with grief, even if you don't think you are being affected. Over time, you realize the loss is real - this person is not coming back. Memories will return at the oddest of times, when you hear a song or pass by a familiar place, and you feel the emotional loss and pain, and might even cry. Some people choose to concentrate on how much a person added to their life, rather than the loss, feeling blessed for the time spent with them. It is not an emotional handicap - just a different way of looking at life and death.

Answer 2

I can relate, I have had a loved one pass away. I didn't show grief the way others expected that i should so i questioned why, I went to a therapist and after some sessions I left with the understanding that all people show grief in different ways and different levels, I do not express my grief publicly though when by myself when I think of times together I get sad and shed tears because I miss them, it has been 13 years since she passed away and at times I feel guilty that she wasn't here to share the good times i have had.

Answer 3

My mother never cried or anything when my sister died. It did not mean that she did not love her, just that she was happy that she was not suffering anymore. I worked in a floral shop one time and some ladies came in to have me make an arrangement for their sister who died. They brought their own basket and asked me to make a lively, fun bouquet for the party they were having. They said their sister did not want a funeral but wanted everyone to be happy and celebrate her life and the happiness they had when they were around her.
Somehow I think it may help to be happy and think about all the good things in a person. A person is definitely not emotionally handicapped for thinking this way.

Answer 4

Not displaying is not a handicap. You have a hidden answer inside your question. You have not expressed the hidden grief.

Possible. And it may be expressed or get expressed some other time as well. As much as others are bound by their momentary emotions so does you too are. May be you are not in a mood to cry, may be you are not in a mood to grieve, now, but later, yes possible.

Answer 5

I was like that when my father died ... I think others found it somewhat unsettling .... but he had suffered a horrible lingering illness ... and I felt his death was a release for his suffering soul .. HOW could I grieve THAT ? There was no joy in having him live and suffering .... I guess for that reason I did not grieve as others did .. I could not be so selfish to wish he had of kept living ..........

where as when my grandmother died ... although she was extremely old .. she was not suffering and was a bright as a button ... HER death affected me more emotionally and caused me to *display* traditional grieving behaviours

I guess it depends on your concept of death ...

the fact that you still treasure the moments that you and that person spent together would indicate to me that you are NOT emotionally handicaped .. YOU just accept that death is a part of life.

IF that makes sense.

Answer 6

You might still be in shock. It happens.
And you may not be the type of person who shows your sorrow on your face. Some people keep up a stiff upper lip.
Surround yourself with friends who understand you.
Hugs.

Answer 7

everyone reacts differently and handles it in their own ways. when my grandfather died my dad and i were joking about all the fun times with him and laughing it up when everyone thought we should be crying. when my brother died i was a total basket case. and still i crack up sometimes over his loss. grief is a process. good luck with yours. always keep their love in your heart and with that no matter how u grieve it won't be so bad.

Answer 8

This is a psychology question. Only you can decide what it means. it could mean you are in mourning, you have a problem, you are totally normal, it can mean any number of things.