How can I get my husband to quit smoking?

Question

I just quit smoking last month because I had just delivered my son and didnt want it in my life...my husband said he'd quit with me, but took it back after I quit. We have so little money, and he gives me a hard time about what I buy, but he sets aside a budget every month for his smokes. He coughs so bad that it sounds like he's going to die, he wheezes horribly, and frankly I'm terrified for his life. I dont want to lose him. I've tried asking him to quit, talking to him about it, but nothing is working...what can I do? He just gets defensive and angry when I say anything about it, and I'm only scared to lose him...
What can I do?

Answer 1

Tape a picture of your baby to his pack of cigarettes with a note that says "Daddy, I want to grow up having you by my side, please stop smoking so you can be here for me." Worked like a charm for me. If that sort of message doesn't do it for him, I doubt he'll be quitting until HE gets sick and tired of the habit.

Answer 2

Perhaps the excessive drinking and smoking were his way of coping with the depression that he was already feeling, and now those crutches have been taken away, he has to deal with the problem directly. Or it could be just a part of the whole withdrawal symptoms, especially if he was a heavy drinker and smoker. I know that when hubby gave up his two pack a day habit, he was like a bear with a sore head for quite a while, but it does get better. If he truly was/IS an alcoholic, then going cold turkey on his own may not be the best option. If he sees a doctor, they might be able to give him short term medication to help him with the symptoms, and cope with this difficult time. Also he will need to join AA or some other support group, otherwise his long term prospect of staying sober are slim. He needs to learn the techniques and skills to stop himself when the cravings hit (and they will), and the support of others who have been there, to get him through. If he is to get through this, he is going to need all your love and support. This isn't the time to make this about you, and your needs. If it gets tough, and its going to, remember that he's doing this for his health, and for the both of you, and offer him whatever encouragement and support you can. That's a part of loving fully. Making the sacrifices during the tough times to get your partner through. Good luck.

Answer 3

Just because you quit doesn't mean it's time for him to quit. Sounds like you two both smoked before, so why should he stop just because you stopped?

According to the timeline you indicated, you quit smoking "last month because I had just delivered my son" so does that mean you smoked up until he was delivered?

Shame on you, if you did. If that is the case, then you are the LAST person who should criticize your husband.

Answer 4

Well, he has to have the will to quit on his own regardless of what you tell him and lecture him about (I know from trying to get both of my sisters to quit smoking). However, you can start printing out pictures of lung cancer and people who died of cancer.. then sit him down and tell him how you feel about it, that you don't want to lose him one day just because of the cigarettes that helped shorten his life.
You can also hit him with an, "If you love me you'll at least try to quit and get on the patch or something."

Answer 5

I have the same problem with my husband...I've done everything to try to get him to quit. Honestly, he has to be the one to WANT to quit. It's a very hard habit to kick which I am sure you know how it feels. You WANTED to quit and you made an honest attempt and succeeded...I give you props for that! But as hard as it may be to hear, he has to be the one to make the ultimate decision. I hope everything works out in time...have faith in him that he will open his eyes and see the agony it's causing you and your family...best of luck to him and congratulations to you for quitting for your son!

Answer 6

Nagging won't make anyone do anything. He will just tune you out and do as he pleases. We can't change anyone's behavior but our own. He has to want to quit, but might be helped by patches or nicotine gum. You might get him to try those. Get some materials from the American Cancer Society and try to make him more aware of the death sentence he is imposing on himself.

Answer 7

Make sure you have him purchase a nice big life insurance policy. And you should be the beneficiary. Actually, you can't get somebody to quit unless they want to quit. I'm glad you quit. Tell him you are afraid you will lose him. Maybe that will help.

Answer 8

Tell him that in as much as he has continued to smoke...you intend use the money that you will save by not smoking in order to take out a Million Dollar Life Insurance Policy on him with you as the Beneficiary.

Answer 9

i quit smoking 7 moonths ago on the new drug called chantix, but no one asked me to do it or nagged me to do it, i quit cause i wanted to better my life, as lng as your pressuring him he will smoke more and he wont quit unless he is ready, its not a easy habit to give up. put some rules down about smoking in the house, its bad for the baby. he dont see that your afraid to lose him, he sees it as your nagging him to quit. you cant get him to do it, he will do it when he is ready if he ever gets ready.

Answer 10

That is very personal. He has to want it. I suggest rational.org because it helped me stop drinking. Only other thing I can think of as far as persuasion is convincing him in a calm way that he is hurting his baby with second hand smoke.