My 12yo has just had her first kiss. It was just a kiss on the cheek thanking another 12yo for the Christmas gift her got her. I want to get onto her, but I want her to feel like she can tell me anything without me getting upset.
2007-12-19 16:45:10 · 13 answers · asked by billie b 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
So Sorry. That should have read the Christmas gift he got her.
2007-12-19 16:45:53 · update #1
She and I have been having "the talk" for quite a while now. I am not meaning that I am upset with her like I am so angry I can't even see straight. I just want her to know that she is still a child and as far as a peck on the cheek, that is fine. But I am scared of how to deal with the bigger stuff that I know will be coming. I mean in my opinion, a 12yo doesn't need to be doing any french kissing much less anything else. Just look at the news. I KNOW that we all know about Jamie Lynn by now. She has a friend whose sister is 13 and she is already having sex. I am just SOOOOO not ready for her to have to deal with all this. Sorry this is so long. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond.
2007-12-19 16:56:54 · update #2
It seems she did the kiss with class. Let her know that her gesture was really nice, and that you are pleased that she only kissed him on the cheek. Drop it there. You said enough. You let her know that you would not like it to be any thing different than what she did. You got your point across. You complimented her, and that will keep the communication open. Being a parent is really hard. Good job!
2007-12-19 16:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by L. J. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with all the previous answers in that telling her that you are pleased that she only gave him a kiss on the cheek. Asking her what a kiss means to her and then steering the conversation (make sure it doesn't turn into a lecture) into where you think it needs to go.
I can speak from the other side since I was 13 only ten years ago. Every time I would just get NEAR the boys and try to hang out with them I would get dirty looks from my dad like I was doing something wrong. I could never talk to my dad (even though he actually wanted me to) because everything concerning guys he pretty much forbade..... so I was always uncomfortable with it. If you keep the line of communication open and Teach rather than Lecture then that makes a HUGE difference.
I will be in the same shoes as you in wanting to make sure my children can talk to me about ANYTHING but I've got another 6yrs minimum before I'm dealing with the same issues.
2007-12-20 01:10:40 · answer #2 · answered by lovemy2boys&girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not see the issue here. What is wrong with a kiss on the cheek? And she's twelve years old! She's old enough to start kissing if she likes. Do not try to repress her sexuality so young. I think it's time to have 'the talk' with her. Let her know about safe sex and appropriate behavior but do not forbid her to experiment because the best way to get a teenage to do something is to tell them that they can't. They live to rebel. Just talk with her about staying safe and leave a window of communication open for her to talk to you. Do not punish her, do not yell at her. She is growing up and you cannot stop. Guide her in the right direction and let her grow.
2007-12-20 00:52:18 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you concerned? Your friend or family member might kiss you on the cheek just cause you care about each other. I wouldn't get onto her. but if your that worried about it sit down and have a civilized discussion with her about here feelings for this boy and address any questions or concerns she may have about this person and her feelings, and the things she may or may not have done. (By the way many girls that age have had their first kiss and it wasn't on the cheek)
I don't have a child that old yet but I'm not a child I'm 28 and have a 3 1/2 year old myself.
2007-12-20 00:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by loquitaamericana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should tell her off. It was just a kiss on the cheek. It's not like they were French kissing or anything (if they were, then it'd be a WHOLE other story). I think you should just leave her and talk to her to make sure she's not doing anything more than that (you never know with kids these days ... And I am one myself !).
2007-12-20 00:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not be worried; it was just a little peck on the cheek. I would tell her casually that if she wanted to talk about anything, that she could always come to you for help. A good place to connect this conversation to would be school. I'd say something like "If you'd like to talk about school or anything else, I'm always here." If things became more intense from there on, then I'd voice my concern.
2007-12-20 00:50:30 · answer #6 · answered by Zαrα Mikαzuki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hopefully you have been having "those" talks with her for many years now. It was small so don't make her put up a wall about those things... you can schedule a "talk" but don't relate it to the peck. just keep the lines of communication open
2007-12-20 00:50:26 · answer #7 · answered by purplelites 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would a handshake have been better? If you make this seem like the equivalent of rape you will alienate her.
Assuming it was just a peck you should have said My that was nice, then changed the subject.
2007-12-20 00:53:37 · answer #8 · answered by MR HENRY S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I would make a big deal out of it...I think it sounds rather sweet....you don't want to alienate her this early in the game IMO
I assume you HAVE been talking with her about sex, boys, touching, etc.?
like I always tried to remember, was to pick my battles wisely & don't sweat the small stuff
good luck !
2007-12-20 00:52:39 · answer #9 · answered by sreshowtime 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont get 2 strict and give her a timeline of when ull let her date like 15 or 16 and try 2 inform her of std that way iif anything happens shell be prepared
2007-12-20 00:59:50 · answer #10 · answered by :'I 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋