my dad is really abusive likes to hit me around has also done some other things i'd prefer not to say and my mom has m.s. and drinks and smokes a lot with her meds...shes also hit me around and recently i started to fight back against it i called cps (who didnt even investigate the claims) ive tried and tried to get out any way possible & nothing works its been really pushing me to my limits and on thursday i had a choir concert and i just broke down i didnt leave my room until tuesday afternoon i also didnt go to school friday monday tuesday wensday and i got really weird when i was cutting i couldnt control myself and then i got this horrible nightmare that became a hallucination (i think?) and my shrink doesnt believe me like he ever has and everyone has stopped listening to me so today i just snapped i got in a fight with mom and wrote on her door some awful things in my blood and started breaking christmas ornaments and and yelling and i borrowed without permission the car and
2007-12-19 16:32:00 · 10 answers · asked by Raitlin B 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
she took my phone and i grabbed her by the arm so hard i bruised her...am i becoming the abuser?...is their past soon to be my future?...can i avoid this??
help please!
but see i have a feeling the only way im getting out of this one is in a body bag...
right?
2007-12-19 16:32:43 · update #1
i dont have any money for a lawyer to get emancipated...i was fired from my job...it doesnt feel like anyone is listening to me anymore and it seems like i cant do anything ive tried cps so many times and it always has failed me and living with a friend my mom made me come home but who would take my word the word of a cutter a loon over that of a kindergarden teacher or a surgen?...my word means nothing in situations like these
2007-12-19 16:51:25 · update #2
you should call kids help phone1-800-668-6868 there are places you can go to get out of situations like that and they will be able to send you in the right direction. They should definitly not be hitting you but you should also not be hitting them . The situation could not be headed in a good direction. It is so true that people who are abused often become abusers themselves but you have to remember that your fate is not set in stone and you are ultimatly incharge of it. You do not have to become an abuser aswell. It seems like there is alot of frustration in your house and lack of listening which is a key part in communication. I wish you the best of luck in life and remember that you control how you react to the situation. You do not have to become anything you don't want to become . There is always light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dim it may be when you start to look for it.
2007-12-19 16:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by Passionate C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No...it isn't okay to stay silent in this kind of a situation. I'd find a responsible adult (perhaps a teacher, counselor, administator, friend's parents, etc.) and tell them everything that had been going on. I'd show them the injured wrist as proof that your household is an abusive one. You also should contact the police; abuse is not to be taken lightly. As a last resort, if all else fails, then you should just legally emancipate yourself; you may be better off by yourself or with another more responsible adult.
2007-12-19 16:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by Zαrα Mikαzuki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question directly; No. Although the conditions you live in cause you a horrible stress remember that you can ALWAYS make the difference no matter what your past is nor under what conditions you live. You definitely need to get somebody to help you out; if your psychologist doesn't believe you then try to find another one. Don't feel like you are alone because you are not, help is there, you just have to look for it. Try to control your reactions; although you may feel powerless and feel these reactions help get your parents attention or or that they help you make a statement a defend yourself, be the better person and instead of indulging in their way of living and committing their same mistakes (which you evidently know are not going to lead you in a good road), move out of that hostility. I don't know what your specific conditions are but I advice you to start by calling a hotline, I'm sure they will be of better help and guidance.
The most important think to remember is that you can make the difference no matter what and choose what kind of life you want to lead. Good luck!! ;)
I also found this site that lists several hotlines in different areas, you could try them under the cathegories that you think will help you the most: http://smhp.psych.ucla.edu/hotline.htm
2007-12-19 16:46:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start telling teachers, school counslers, tell the social workers you will run away before you will go home. Tell them about the things you are not saying on here. If they still do not listen, Call the district attorny and tell him what is going on. Everytime something happens at home call the cops and Child services. Keep it up. YOu therapist can lose his license for not reporting abuse if you have told him about it! Im so sorry you are in this situation. All I can say is tell anyone that will listen and keep telling them. Show them, take pictures of what they do to you. And try to get a new therapist. Good luck
2007-12-19 16:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh Hunny................I am so, so sorry that you are gong through this! PLEASE, NO NO NO a body bag is not the answer. Number one...get a new 'shrink'! You have to have a strong sense of trust with that person, or at least in a teen's eyes, not hate them! If you are seeing a male Doc, maybe look for a female...sometimes when it comes to abuse situations, it's easier to talk to the same sex doctor.
It does sound like you are now becoming the abuser, however, you have caught it(it sounds like)....now is your chance to nip it in the bud---so to speak. Start to see a counselor also...a psychotherapist or 'talk-doc'.
Good Luck To You Dear,
Momma P
p.s. if you would like to e-mail me and talk some more, please feel free either on yahoo, or msn with coolmom_always@hotmail.com
2007-12-19 16:44:51 · answer #5 · answered by Momma P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both yes and no. You are the only person you can control your action. But don't forget to get your strength from GOD. Did you share you past with your friends? Did you tell anyone about this? Why did you hide it all by yourself when you're not supposed to? Sometimes, life is nothing more than pain itself. But brace yourself so that your past won't be your future.
2007-12-19 16:45:25 · answer #6 · answered by SASA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is this true? if so ur not the abuser ur just rebelling
u should talk to ur friends and teachers at skool and ask them for help and see a social worker and a psychologist or a counsellor u might be better of not living with ur parents if they constantly abuse u maybe stay at a friends house
also dont cut urself
2007-12-19 16:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hm....this all sounds terrible. i'm sorry. cps is a pile of ****. they dont do their job when they're supposed to, and can't stop getting involved when not needed. i grew up in a fairly difficult situation myself, and the best i can tell you is just GET AWAY. it sucks, but you need to realize you're in need of taking care of yourself. in california you can be 14 and legally emancipate yourself from your parents. its a bit of a task (filing paperwork and going to court). you have to get a job and be able to support yourself. its worth it tho. but you HAVE to stop cutting yourself, that will only do you harm in the long run. you run a serious risk of being thrown in a mental hospital which, if you're not crazy, will make you crazy and will only ruin your future. you have to realize that your parents are very selfish ppl and aren't quite thinking fully of you. so think of yourself and do what's best for you, without them. get emancipated, or just up and leave.
2007-12-19 16:42:15 · answer #8 · answered by kandie_licious 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i hade a friend in an abusive situation and we couldnt do anything for them either.idk how old u r but im 15 n if u ever need to talk to someone you dont know and wont judge u snd me an email backdraft199@sbcglobal.net
2007-12-20 07:34:24 · answer #9 · answered by backdraft199@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not right. It was wrong of your parents to abuse you and it was wrong of you to break ornaments. You should show your counselor your marks on your wrist from cutting. Did you eat for the days in your room?
2007-12-19 16:38:03 · answer #10 · answered by Erica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋