I met this lady about a month ago, and she seemed kind of forward to me at the time, but she was going thru a messy divorce and told me that her husband had been beating her, ect so I tried to help her as best as I can. She seemed to need a friend, so I tried to be there for her. But she kept calling and calling me. She also talked to my husband a lot. I grew suspicious that maybe she's after him because he is a really great guy. Then one evening I went to bed early and left my kids with my hub and her.
She started digging all sorts of information out of him about me. Next day she called me and told me some of what he said. Nothing big, just personal stuff. So I asked him and we talked about it openly, as we always do. It opened up some communication and we got closer.
He called her to thank her for telling me but when she found out we didn't fight she started shouting on him. Then she called me (I had already spoken to him and got the story straight from him) and told me all lies about him, that he threatened to beat her, wanted to meet her alone so he could hurt her, he wanted to take her dancing (I know, makes no sense!) ect. Actually it was really apparent she was LYING. She badly wanted my husband and I to fight, but we just talk and got closer instead. So now she was trying this new tactic.
She called my cell phone the next day, but it was with my husband as I had left it at his office. She apologized to him and indirectly started trying to convince him to go for divorce and why did he marry me, ect? (they are both from same culture, so she tried to use that to get to him.) He just hung the phone up on her and immediately called me and told me what she said. We both decided she was trying to be a homewrecker and we won't answer anymore of his calls.
BUT- and here is the big but- she keeps calling ME over and over again, leaving nice messages, ect. She keeps pursuing me. We are starting to think we were wrong about her motive, and maybe she is not after him, but after ME. And that makes sense because she told me that she hates men and prefers company of women. I didn't understand what she was telling me at the time tho. Now she called 16 times in the last hour and I am not picking up the phone. She is only calling MY cell phone, not his. I think her next move will be to show up at my door. She's like that. Looks like she wanted my husband and I to fight because she is pursuing ME. He also told me that whenever she talks to him it is ALWAYS about me, never about anything else.
I am interested in getting a third point of view here. Are we wrong? Should we give her a second chance? How do I react to all of this?
Thanks ahead of time.
2007-12-19 16:27:57 · 24 answers · asked by Minerva 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You're dealing with a very troubled individual, capable of pretty well anything. She's already all but stalking you. If this behaviour continues, you might have to take legal action to keep her from bothering you ... and your husband. Take care!
2007-12-19 16:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk this over with your husband and then--if you think it necessary--discuss the matter with an attorney.
You and your husband should be absolutely united when you tell this woman to buzz off. She sounds like an absolute looney tune and you need to get her totally out of your life. If it is necessary to file a complaint iwth the police to do that be ready, but discuss this and the other aspects of this with the attorney.
I cannot overemphasize this--make sure you and your husband are both totally in agreement about how you intend to do this.
Don't give her any kind of chance, first, second or other. No good will come out of this. This is harassment at its best and stalking at its worst and you don't need or want it.
2007-12-20 00:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Wow! Lucky you (sic)! It looks like you've got a real clinger on your hands. People like that can be dangerous to your well being and your lifestyle. They worm their way into your life and if you let them, they take over. And shake up your mental stability. But they can't sustain any long term relationships because they are too "needy" and clingy and full of drama, and most people can't take that for very long. I think you need to separate yourself from this person, both of you. It make take time and persistence, but it can be done. Don't answer your phone if you know it's her. If you accidentally do, just be cool-ly polite, but conveniently busy. If she shows up at your door, be aloof, smile sweetly and say you're sorry but your just on your way out (or something) but DON'T let her in. Once she figures out that you want no part of her little game then she'll gradually go find somebody else who will for a short time.
I had one of "those" try to latch on to me once. Ohhhh, it was horrible. She tried everything she could to entice me to leave my husband (of 10 years -- like I'm sooooosure). Telling him lies about me and me lies about him. It was creepy, it almost had a stalker feel to it. But we both saw throigh it. We both told her to stay away. She wouldn't. She called. I ignored the calls. She finally quit calling, and started sending gifts and flowers to my office and the house. I refused every delivery. The gifts finally stopped. This whole thing happened over the span of several months, but that was way back in the early 90's. Thank the Lord, THAT'S over and done with.
2007-12-20 01:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How in the world did you get so much content in there! Whew, that was a really long story!
Look, if you haven't seen the red flags by now, I don't know what to tell you. Move, change your phone numbers, do whatever you can to rid yourself of this psycho!!!!
A second chance, puh-leeze. This person is obviously unbalanced, and is telling you her sob stories so you will stick around. Sounds like you have a good relationship with your husband, so don't put yourselves in jeopardy. She could easily harm you, stalk you, or scam you. Run, run as fast as you can!
Good luck!
2007-12-20 00:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by art-nerd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious that your relationship with your husband is very strong and it's very obvious that you want nothing to do with this woman - she's proven to be a lying nuisance and you should probably call the police for a harassment report about this woman. You always want to leave a paper trail - especially when you're protecting your family. Good luck
2007-12-20 00:32:58 · answer #5 · answered by *Meg* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, avoid all contact. Who cares what the real motive is. She is totally nuts. Keep away from her. Speak to the police to get a restaining order if necesary. She sounds really unstable. Could she be possibly dangerous. Lying and constantly calling are warning signs.
2007-12-20 00:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by Heidi62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that lady sounds kina nuts. I'd advise changing your cell phone number and considering a restrainging order if she actually starts showing up at your door. I can't say for sure if she IS after you.but she definately sounds like a homewrecker.
2007-12-20 00:33:59 · answer #7 · answered by jetblacksnake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell this woman to stay away from you and your husband;you tried to help her but it's beyond your control if she keeps it up then go to the courts and get a restraint order against her;Once she validate that she will be out of your lives
2007-12-20 00:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by Juanita T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you want to get rid of her? I know a guy. He'll have her six feet under in less than a week, ok? Haha, just kidding. Why don't you file a restraining order? Don't give her a second chance. She's a whackjob.
2007-12-20 00:35:34 · answer #9 · answered by Freakin Smuckers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She definitely does not want you and your husband to get along. ( maybe her misery wants company ? ) She also might be pursuing you. You both need to distance yourselves from this person. She does not have the best interests of you and your husband. Keep away from her, it will take awhile, but you must do it.
2007-12-20 00:35:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋