my ex has constantly pushed me out of my kids life what should I so?

Question

I have a 9 year old daugher that I just took her mom to court and got the parenting time guidelines. I visited her at her moms before this court thing untill she was 5 always asking for more. then she came to my house and never got over night. her mom has refused to refer to me as dad and calls her new husband dad and so my kid wont call me dad now either. she seems to be ok here it is hard to get her to come sometimes. there was a time she loved spending time with me then with her mom alienating me she now really dosent want to come. it is hard on me and hard on her. is there a time that it is to damaging for everyone to force the visits. what do I do. be consistant with visits. or leave the door open and try to communicate but let her mom ruin her more. I just am fed up I love my kid but this hurts so bad. is is mentally damaging to her for me to make her come. even though she is usually fine once here. encouragement and advice please

this is a shorter version of a question with tons of details that I added a few min ago. for those of you that do not like long stories I tried to get to the point. if you want more info look back alittle about what to do with my kid.

Answer 1

Stay in her life however you can! Do not bad mouth her mother, instead just repeat that no child can have too many people to love her. I would still insist that she come for her alloted time, but make sure you are taking her to her obligations for sports or friends get-togethers.
I know it hurts and is emotionally draining, but she is too young to make this decision. My children at times say it is hard to visit dad, but I support their visits because I want them to have a relationship with their dad. So don't give up! You both deserve to be a part of each others lives, she may not realize it until she is a little older, tho.

Answer 2

My partners family went through the same thing. Only its their dad who wouldn't let their mum see the kids.

It sounds like the mum is manipulating your daughter into thinking you're a bad person, and you left them alone because you don't care about them.

Here's my question: What is your job and living status? Do you rent/ own your own house and have a full time decent paying job?
If its a yes, you should apply to the court for either full or shared custody. You need to be in your daughters life in order to stop her from totally hating you.

The judge probably will be on the mums side at the beginning, because mum's are usually the main figure, but if you can prove that you can hold a better house and more decent living arrangements than your ex, then you should at least get shared custody.

In Australia, even if the dad can't provide well for the child, the children at least get to stay at their fathers for the whole week end, once a fortnight.
Aim for that.

Your ex should be taken aside and spoken to. It is wrong for her to treat her daughter like this, no less you.

Answer 3

You daughter has the right to have both parents in her life!
You are doing the right thing. Someday she will know you never gave up on her. Mom has a new boyfriend and will cut back on time with the kid and you want to be there for that.
Like the others say document every interaction you may need to prove PAS some time.

Answer 4

keep visiting even if it hurts your feelings right now cuz of the treatment...your daughter is young right now..she will get older and remember everything her mom has said and done..but importantly she'll remember you never gave up and never stopped coming around..this will backfire on your ex when the time is right...you're little girl is I'm sure so confused..and only wants to make mom happy and you...but is caught in the middle..my dad took my mom to court cuz similar things went on...judge ordered that I see a court appointed therapist to figure out if it was in my best interest to remain with mom..hell they could've just ask me...bottom line...I went and lived with my dad..cuz therapist said that with my mother saying and doing certain things to turn me against my dad was emotionally and mentally unhealthy and yes could be damaging...mother had to attend parenting classes and divorced parents of kids support groups to learn new ways of communication etc...so I wouldn't be in the middle
once that was done...I was then able to move back in with her...now I'm in my 20's and thank god that people stepped in and that my father never gave up on fighting for me and what was right

Answer 5

My ex husband wanted my daughter to call his new wife who he cheated on me with mom and call me by my 1st name.
I think you should have your child over every visit and never miss. Even if you have to haul your child out the front door of your ex wifes house screaming and kicking, pick her up and take her with you.
As far as I am concerned, your ex is the scum of the earth. How can she do this to a child.
My daughter is 20 yrs old now and calls me mom and hates her dads, now, ex wife. She said she was mean to her.

Answer 6

i would leave the door open; call her and invite her and let it go; spend your emotional energy, time and money on developing a new family. i know that sounds harsh but the reality is her mother has already brainwashed her and alienated her and there is very little you can do; you can spend literally THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS and countless hours on this in court, put yourself through unmitigating hell and the result is going to be the same.

Answer 7

I think you shouldmt make her come but talk to her seriously talk to her and let her know that if she doesnt want to come anymore that is ok as long as you get to talk to her on the phone or email each other. write letters whatever as long as you are still in her life. have her school send you a calender of her school events and stay in her life. see ifyou can attend her school plays, christmas programs, awards assemblies, whatever so she can see you still want her to be in her life. Let mom say what she wants but you need to form a special bond with your daughter before it is too late. drown her with your attention.drown her with your love, dont spoil her but show her things and take her places , teach her things and you will win her heart, dont ever give up on your child because a jealous spouse is trying to kick you out of your daughters life. Dont let her win, you win your daughters heart. stick with it and if you want document everything, so later you can show your daughter that you did try to see her despite what her mother said. show your daughter you love her by being there for her. good luck.

Answer 8

Continue to make the effort. Don't make a point of it. Just let your daughter know that you are always there. Eventually she will understand. It won't be easy, but eventually she will understand. And it will take years, but don't give up hope.

Answer 9

attempt calling toddler protective amenities, they are going to come to their abode today.. they could interview the toddlers, and take it from their.. additionally document a police rfile, you need to maintain up data so once you pass to court docket you have something to pass by potential of.. you need to be a drama queen once you pass to court docket, cry, do regardless of you need to do to get the opt to be attentive to which you relatively concern on your toddlers lifestyles.. keep pushing at them till they hear to you. and attempt to get a restraining order against that woman.

Answer 10

just keep doin what ur doin thing will get better ...