Ok so I have been together with my boyfriend for 1 year. He has been married before and he got his heart broken so he is a little scared to get married again. Do you think he will ever come around and trust that I wont break his heart?
2007-12-19 15:54:36 · 41 answers · asked by adriannk4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hard to say. If you are supportive and always treat him with respect he will realize what a great girl friend he has in you and he will want to spend the rest of his life with you.
2007-12-19 16:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by Freddy Finger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
22 and 23 is still pretty young to get married. Not all that many 23 year old guys are gung-ho about marriage, to tell you the truth. The fact that you've been dating 5 years is somewhat irrelevant because of your ages. My hubby and I "dated" for 7 years before we got married, at 28 and 30. It was the right age for me. When he was 23 he wasn't sure he "believed" in marriage, but by 25 he'd changed his tune... *I* was the one wanting to wait, while he was ready to propose! Whether you stay or not is up to you. Since you've been with him so long, you've never experienced any other adult relationship, so you have no comparison to judge what relationships should be like, other than observing others. Being only 23, he might not be ready to consider marriage for some years yet. Men on average marry just short of 28 years old. Would you be prepared to wait that long for him to change his mind? The only thing I STRONGLY recommend is that you not have a baby without marriage. Just don't do it. Tell him flat out, "No ring, no son to pass on your name, buster." Have some standards for yourself. If he continues to insist that "marriage is just a piece of paper" and means nothing, then the best choice may be to just move on. PS... Don't buy a house or a car or open a credit card or move in with him, either. Don't give him the benefits of a wife without actually being one.
2016-04-10 08:56:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's a couple of things that could come into this. First off, how long was it before you met him and he got his divorce? In other words, was he on a rebound....never a good thing. Second, how old are both of you? Third, how stable is he? Does he have a good job with a future or is he just spinning his wheels now? Fourth, Does he have any drinking or drugging issues, has he ever drank to the point of not remembering portions of what he did the previous night, does he have frequent mood changes for no apparent reasons, does he have any drug use that is somewhat habitual, like does he have to smoke a joint before he goes out, or any other use that may seem just a bit out of the ordinary...and no everyone doesn't do that. There's reasons behind all these questions that may not seem apparent, but I can go into them more in depth if you like.
2007-12-19 16:07:48 · answer #3 · answered by joerides 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are jumping the gun a bit. Why would you think he will ask you to marry him at such a early part of your relationship?you have only been together for a year. THATS IT!!! you still have a lot of growing to do and alot of soul searching. you dont completely know him yet. it takes a few years to get to know this person and you want o jusmp into marriage with a stranger. i say you wait a few years before you start to think about marriage. Also he is not wanting to get married after it didnt work out the first time he isnt going to want to do it any time soon. I say you be more patient and wait awhile. he isnt going anywhere and besides whats the big rush? good luck!!!
2007-12-19 16:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've only been together for 1 year so don't pressure him into marrying you so soon. Since he was married before and had his heart broken then he will most likely be a little hesitant and be more careful about not rushing into things.
2007-12-19 15:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by Madison 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a year is a pretty short time to ask this of a guy who got his heart broken. But then again if you guys have been together for a year, both of you should be able to talk openly about this subject. Just ask him. If he seems hesitant or scard, don't give up so suddenly. He is probably just still hurt and scard. He wouldn't stay with you for a year if he didn't love or trust you. Just give it time.
2007-12-19 15:58:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah just give it time patience is virtue he'll come around it'll happen for you guys but then again 1 year is a little bit of time to go get married you no spend some more time together get to really no each other be best friends beside bf & gf kay when the time is right it will happen and it would be magical good luck
2007-12-19 15:59:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A year is not that long. With that said, you don't want to drag your man down the aisle. Be patient -- Stay with him as long as you can stand not becoming a misses. If it's been 2 or 3 years and nothing has changed then walk away. If he's willing to let you then he doesnt want to be married to YOU. Sure you don't want to waste 2 years of your life if he doesn't marry you but don't be "that girl" that strong arms her man into saying I do. It's pathetic!
2007-12-19 15:59:04 · answer #8 · answered by Candy517 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey it can happen, It took my Husband 10 years before he got the nerve up to marry me. Some guys just want to be sure. We have been happily married for 9 years now.
2007-12-19 16:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by snickers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've only been dating a year. Dating after a divorce takes alot of time and healing that you have no control over.
Alot of couples are far from even thinking about marriage at the 1 year mark. Add in a divorce on his end, and that makes it even more likely that he is pretty far from thinking about it.
But if you love him, and he loves you- then you don't need a piece of paper to express it. When he is ready, he will ask.
2007-12-19 15:57:31 · answer #10 · answered by Meghan 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him the chance to ease himself. He'll come for you when he's ready. Give him sometime. Besides, nothing guarantees that marriage is free of trouble, but the important things is , you face them together. Always talk to him, listen to his heart about this matter. Good luck and Merry Christmas.
2007-12-19 15:58:39 · answer #11 · answered by SASA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋