I need some advice and please be gentle because i am really not a bad person.I am 26 yr old mother of 2 a daughter age 6 and a baby son who is just about 6.5 months old.My daughters father and i were college sweethearts.We got married right out of college and had a wonderful life together for almost 5 yrs till he passed away.He was hit by a drunk driver went into a comma and passed 3 months later.Shortly afterward my ex.bf from highschool who had been my first everything contacted me as usual because we had kept in contact once or twice a year as old aquantances over the years(nothing more).He wanted to advertise to me about his new business an auto body shop.I told him what was going on in my life and he really listened to me unlike other family/friends who seemed disintrested.We became friends again remebering the good times all the fun we had and the very bad/sad times dumb fights,when i got pregnant had miscarriage,and we broke up 3 times.He told me his marital problems ..
2007-12-19 15:32:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he ended up seperated from his wife for a little bit and one thing led to another.I broke it of and he went back to his wife for therapy.What i did not know was that i was pregnant with his son and i did not find out till i was 13 weeks.Well now i am living in the apartment over his shop but he is still married?
2007-12-19 15:38:07 · update #1
Not a tramp i have only been with 3 guys in my entire life.I am confused because i still have feelings for him and he came to my rescue when i could no longer work while pregnant.He and i are not intimate at the moment;he only stays overnight sometimes.But i feel guilty?
2007-12-19 15:46:18 · update #2
i am unsure of your problem so i can't advise on it.
2007-12-19 15:38:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sammie 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband. But I have to say this: I am a child (now adult) of a father who cheated on his wife and got her pregnant. It's not fun. It sucks. The other woman wounded up being my step-mom who was trash -- that's a whole other story. You don't sound like her at all. My point is: You sound like a very lonely, vulnerable woman who is hurting because of what happened with your husband. It happened. You can't change it now. All you can do is try to make your life the best you can for you and your kids. You can do it. Pick yourself up from your mistake and move on. Life gets better I promise. After you do that and you get yourself together, please do this: Be very picky who you bring around your kids as in a step-dad, my dad wasn't and I had to pay for his mistake. But I wish you all the luck in the world. Merry Christmas
2007-12-20 00:31:02 · answer #2 · answered by Katie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I reported a previous answerer for calling you a tramp. It violates YA guidlelines to insult other members, and his comment is hurtful and unhelpful.
To answer your question...If the guy is back with his wife...let me put this plainly.
STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!!! MOVE TO THE NEXT CITY, THE NEXT STATE OR PROVINCE, THE NEXT HEMISPHERE IF YOU HAVE TO. That's step one.
Step two is to get an income. That is what welfare is for--people who are jammed up and cannot possibly support themselves given their current circumstances. Depending where you are, welfare might pay for day care or even training so that you will be able to support yourself properly.
Step three is to stop justifying yourself. You are not a bad person, nobody here said you were except one judgemental ignoramus, and nobody will any brains or decency will consider you in a bad light.
God bless you and keep you.
2007-12-19 23:47:04 · answer #3 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
wow...you have a hard situation...don't mess with a married man even if you have a past with him..he is married now..and the wife doesn't deserve the hurt and pain..now you have a child involved and have no choice but to tell him...and he can tell his wife...all you need to do is focus on you and your kids..and try to be daddy drama free...he's an ex for a reason...and sometimes we forget the bad that happened and only look at the good..because of feeling lonely..and in your case a single parent which is hard in itself...be strong...this guy I don't think really knows what he wants..he's gone back and forth...and if he's willing to cheat on his wife...what makes you think he won't cheat on you...stay friends and just take care of baby as separated parents...good luck to you and your babies :)merry xmas
2007-12-19 23:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by ~Jenny~ 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First let me say your not a tramp. second i really think you should move, living right over where he work is not good b/c your not together and you still have feelings for him. I hate to pop your bubble but he's not going to leave his wife and if he does he's going to cheat on you, sorry I'm being real. You need to move away and start over he can still be in his sons life but i really think you need to start over without him
2007-12-20 00:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by something_exotic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about he loss of your husband. I'm not being mean by saying this but he was still married when you messed with him. You not only made your life harder, but you messed with a woman's husband. Now that they are back together, this woman is going to be really hurt when she finds out. Now you are even more hurt in your situation. It was a lose-lose situation. I'm sorry you got in this situation. Stay away from guys who tell you they are separated. this means they still belong to someone. You will find another special someone who can love you just the way your are. Even in your situation. Be patient.
2007-12-19 23:44:47 · answer #6 · answered by Mom2Five 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You should really tell him what's going on. He wasn't cheating on his wife, but she may see it like that.
I don't think you're to blame. He was seperated, and you both were in need of some emotional comfort.
What's done is done, and there's no need to beat yourself up about it. As far as you knew, you weren't doing anything wrong.
But still, you should tell him, and at least give him a chance to decide if he wants to be in yours, and the baby's life.
2007-12-19 23:43:17 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Miller 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
So he's married? I dated a married man once, he cheated on me after he left his wife. It didn't hurt because I knew what to expect, but it still sucked. I know you are hurting but let him clean up his doorstep before making any serious commitment to you. Do you like being hurt? Why would you wish that on his wife?
2007-12-19 23:37:37 · answer #8 · answered by reggie29 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
So what is the problem? You obviously wanted to get pregnant otherwise you would have prevented this pregnancy. Your like every other gal that thought you could reel in a man by having his kid. The only thing you will get is a bad reputation and maybe a support check (which you don't deserve)
2007-12-19 23:47:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your husband. Take good care of yourself and your children; I don't think it's so bad that you told him everything nor is it bad that you listened to him. You have to know your boundaries though (do not interfere with his marriage). Good luck and may God bless you and your children.
2007-12-20 00:02:07 · answer #10 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's married, married, married!!!!!
Forget him...it will be bad enough when everyone finds out you are having his baby. They will blame you for being a homewrecker, etc.
So leave their marriage alone and get child support from him and move on.
Joy to you!
2007-12-19 23:57:03 · answer #11 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋