I moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago and am very happy although still want to wait a bit before we get married. I want to share my life with my family but they would basically condemn me to hell. How can I approach them with this? Does any one else have family like this???
2007-12-19 15:07:31 · 10 answers · asked by Jessica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How old are you? If you are over 18 your family shouldnt let your family's values influence you anymore.
If you and your boyfriend have been together for a long time before you moved in, I dont think theres anything wrong with that.
If your family really loves you they wouldnt condemn you.
2007-12-19 15:13:08 · answer #1 · answered by Muffins 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your family is right, no matter how unhappy it makes you, and no matter what all the other answers on here say. You have no business living with a guy before your married to him.
It is against the laws of god, and it is a sin you should not take litely. First of all, there is no man alive that TRULY AND HONESTLY has any respect for a woman who will sell herself as an unpaid whore, by having sex before marriage. You risk a lot of bad things happening when you make that choice.
You risk Diease, you risk having to have an abortion, which is murder, You loose your self respect, and you are telling the guy that he doesn't have to learn to love you before he gets to use you.
It's a dumb dessission all the way around.
Your family is right.
Just admit it and repent, and dont do it again until your properly married
2007-12-19 15:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by squishy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a right to live your life any way you choose. Your parents can't "condemn you to hell", it isn't within their power to do so. Of course, they could choose not to speak to you again. But you don't owe them an explanation, you're an adult and don't have to apologize or justify your choices. I would not even bring up the subject. If they did I wouldn't discuss it or be drawn into any arguments. Just have some standard answer ready if they try to make judgments, such as..."It is too bad you feel that way". Just keep saying that one statement. They will either throw you out, or give up trying to force their will on you.
2007-12-19 15:18:18 · answer #3 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with them and be as mature as possible when you tell them. My boyfriend's dad is SUPER religious too and he didn't even say anything and didn't seem mad at all. On the other hand, my grandma FREAKED out when I told her and I haven't spoken to her since, so maybe you'll be suprised who accepts it and who doesn't. If your family's Catholic, you'll probably have a harder time (that's what I've noticed at least).
One of my friends had a "separate bedroom" in her place where she "slept" so that her parents wouldn't think she was sleeping with her bf. That's an option too.
Explain the reasons why you moved in together--you love him, it's cheaper rent, it's better than a random roommate, etc.
I'm wondering, since it was a few months ago and they don't know, is this something you HAVE to tell them?
Good luck with everything!
2007-12-19 15:13:10 · answer #4 · answered by RJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They would condemn you to hell for being happy? Wow. That's a little extreme. I guess you have to tell them that you don't judge them for their faults and you'd like the same consideration. I have a feeling they will continue to be close minded and you had better get comfortable with the heat of hell or the ice of being frozen out of their lives.
2007-12-19 15:11:37 · answer #5 · answered by Alli*LOVES*Artie*Lange 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live your life the way you want. Be open with your lifestyle and let them know what's going on. Tell them that you would appreciate it if they don't have to agree with your lifestyle but just accept that you've went on a different approach with your life and your not changing for anyone just as you don't expect them to change their beliefs or views for you.
2007-12-19 15:14:06 · answer #6 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you close to your family? If you are inform them of your new living situation, but remind them that you will not tolerate unkind statements about your relationship. If they cannot respect your wishes, you may have to reconsider how much time you spend with them
I hope this helps and good luck!
2007-12-19 15:14:04 · answer #7 · answered by terry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i do, i'm planning on my bf moving in and i don't know what they'll say and i'm scared but it is my life and when they notice and say somthing what ever it is i am prepared to respond with the best controll i can that as an independent adult i have made a desicion and as such i am independent of their beliefs and that i appreciate their concern and i feel loved because of it but I hope that they are able to respect me in my desicions as i will them.
2007-12-19 15:16:48 · answer #8 · answered by old me... past sucks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise you to go to their house or go out somewhere but don't invite them to your house, because they won't come, and don't expect them to accept your shackup boyfriend.
They consider this a sin, or at the very least, unadvisable. Don't expect them to accept this situation until you get married.
Shack ups are relationships with no commitments.
2007-12-19 15:22:30 · answer #9 · answered by serene e 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
live your life..nobody elses.
2007-12-19 15:10:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋