Hello. I met my guy 2 years ago when his daughter was 8. Him and the childs mother broke up when the child was 3 months old and have NEVER got back together. i first met her when she was 8. we got along great. we went to movies together, parks, ect. all this without her father even being there with us. im not trying to be a 2nd mother but was showing her a nice time. me and him broke up for 2 years and we got back together. now her is mother married. everything was FINE again. then one day she woke up and hated me and comes over with a bad attitude. i speak and she wont speak back. she told her dad that her and her mom and step dad FIGHT ALL THE TIME and her mother always cries. her step dad does not do anything for her. wont even pick her up from school when its raining and he's at home doing nothing. maybe she is taking her anger out on me due to whats going on at home. but why me?? i have been nothing but wonderful to her. im almost sick of her now. what should I do??
2007-12-19 15:00:33 · 6 answers · asked by melonie3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i wonder if her mother has said anything about me to make her act this way? me and my guy have a wonderful relationship. we never fight and laugh all the time. things are great. we are getting married in june. when she comes over now she acts like she is scared of me and im a stranger. before the change she walked over with some of her friends just to visit me without her father even being there. and now she is scared of me?? whats really going on??
now when she comes over she acts like a needy 3 year old child. her father gets upset and yells at her to stop acting like that. before she would come over she would just chill and watch tv downstairs by herself and call her friends or on my computer. not even worring about what we are doing. now she wont. she will want to be in my room with us sitting on the floor on his side of the bed. me and him are not doing anything but watching tv. im not trying to take her father away from her. she needs to see that.
2007-12-19 15:39:25 · update #1
She's venting on you because she sees you as safe. This probably feels like the worst time in her life. The people who are supposed to care for her and nurture her, are instead, selfishly fighting and in a way, abusing her. Often when kids act out it's to the person they feel safest with. The adults in her mom's house are ruining her life. I'm sorry you're the one taking the brunt of her frustrations. If you possibly can, when she does this, look at her with compassion and empathy and tell her that she deserves the best in life. Counseling might help too.
2007-12-19 15:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's testing you, she wants to see if you will turn on her. Keep up the good step mom role and be supportive. Talk to ur guy about sitting down with his daughter and all of you having a family meeting. Maybe he needs custody if things are really that bad at her moms. Don't spoil the girl though, if she was supposed to have her homework done b4 getting on the computer then stick with that rule, don't give in just because shes being a brat and u don't want her to hate you. Alot of these changes are probably due to her age...preteen? you remember that time don't u? :)
2007-12-19 23:09:37 · answer #2 · answered by evo queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. She might be very stressed from all of this and taking it out on you and everyone else. This might just be how it is all the time at her mothers and it might have become normal for her. I would tell her that you do not like when she acts like that. Ask her what has changed and how you can help her. If talking to her does not work your husband needs to lay down the ground rules. She needs to be told that this behavior and disrespect will not be tolerated.
2007-12-19 23:17:37 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey I am so sorry. *hugs*
I found a lot of support for a similar issue at a site called steptalk (think that's what it was called).
These are sticky, sometimes frightening issues, I know. The step-kids can do a complete turn around and we wonder what happened to our little buddy/baby/darling.
Do see about talking it out on that site, plz? Best of luck to you!
2007-12-19 23:07:31 · answer #4 · answered by Misty P. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack a bag and hide it in the bushes outside.
Set your alarm for 3am and sneak out.
Grab the bag and RUN!
...or simply tell her who is boss and that if she doesn't like it, tough. Get used to it.
2007-12-19 23:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by hellaeddie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
does she live with her mom? if she does then shes probably trying to tell yall that she is having problem at home and wants to live with yall
2007-12-19 23:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by alcohol_my_ANTI-drug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋