2007-12-19 14:54:31 · 20 answers · asked by Expert 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
No.
1. You did not respect him, so you wouldn't be going to "pay your respects".
2. You will get no relief from grief or closure from the experience.
The only reason to go would be to support your parent during their time of grief. If you cannot do that, don't go.
2007-12-19 16:26:47 · answer #1 · answered by raichasays 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you should go. Not for him or anyone else. You should go for you. Think of it as the last time you have to put up with his misguided beliefs. You don't have to make a scene or anything. You can stand in the back or sit in the front or whatever you want.
Funerals are for the living not the dead. You don't have to honor him or his memory. I would say that by going, you will keep members of the family from questioning you later on as to why you didn't show up. Remember no matter what you do, someone is going to be upset with you. I am thinking you are not alone in despising him and his racism. Just remember that attending a funeral does not mean you agree with him. It only means that supporting the family in a time of need is more important than your individual needs.
2007-12-19 23:06:56 · answer #2 · answered by hensleyclaw 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you don't, particularly if his racist friends will be there. It could become nasty if you got into an argument about their organization. I tend to be withdrawn and socially awkward but if something really annoys me I find it difficult to be quiet and I get into trouble. Also, I think not attending his funeral may be a chance to make a stand and show how you feel about their ideology. A very good reason is also that attending the funeral would be like feigning a family bond that didn't exist for the sake of custom, and that would be cynical.
(I was tempted to say something like "Well, if there will be free liquor..." but then decided to be reasonable :-)
2007-12-19 23:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by matti_tirkkonen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a personal choice you have to make. How will you feel years from now if you don't go? Maybe you won't feel any different but only you can know that, maybe. It won't matter to you grandfather, he won't know either way. Your/his family will know, but how close are all of you? You can't go wrong by going, and you might regret not going. It could be helpful to other family members if you went. After all, funerals are for the living, burials are for the dead.
2007-12-19 23:18:30 · answer #4 · answered by robbie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funerals are for those grieving and to say goodbye.If you chose to go think of it as support for those who you do love in the family and saying goodbye to the good and the bad in your grandfather. If your bad feelings toward him will negatively affect those you love more than your absence I would say don't go. I disagree w/ racism also, but for other aspects of his personality that you may have appreciated or may grieve over later, this is one later regret you could avoid by going and saying goodbye. This is the last time you will see him on earth and I believe it would be good for you to be able to say goodbye. if you don't you can never take it back and may always feel guilt or sorrow for it. After you lose someone and time has passed you tend to remember the good stuff, even when they weren't the best people and you regret what you didn't do. I would go, for your family and for yourself and be respectful for them. Going doesn't mean you agree with him, it is just saying goodbye and being there for your family. Believe me no one's is perfect, but that's what we have, until we don't anymore.
2007-12-19 23:27:55 · answer #5 · answered by la 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go to the funeral to comfort the survivors. So - if there are others in your family that will be upset over the loss and your presence will be a comfort to them - it's ok to go to the funeral.
Either way -it's your choice.
2007-12-19 23:11:12 · answer #6 · answered by Boots 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely you should go. There's nothing wrong with paying your respects to family, even if the person in question wasn't a great guy. Nobody says you have to give the eulogy, but make an appearance.
2007-12-19 23:03:57 · answer #7 · answered by Robert 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, he was your grandfather. Just show up for a few minutes, sign the book, and leave. You have done your duty.
2007-12-19 23:07:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't. You're not talking about a different ideology of democrat vs republican.
I would not respect anyone (even a family member) who was a KKK member. And I would not pay respects to someone I didn't respect.
2007-12-19 23:00:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I guess it would depend on how much it would bother my father or mother. If it meant a lot to them that I be there, I would go for them. Most funerals I have attended, I went to support the ones left behind, not who died.
2007-12-19 23:04:24 · answer #10 · answered by grumpyoldman 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋