My husband and i aren't getting along at all and he is now living with his mother we have many problems. My mother in law is having her traditional christmas gathering this year and im thinking of not going this year because he will be their and im very unhappy with the things he has been doing to me (nothing physical) should i not go so i can make a point that im very unhappy or should i go and endure the gathering although inside im dying because of his ways. we do have children together also.
2007-12-19 14:48:13 · 14 answers · asked by cocoa 4 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For the sake of your children, it would be a good idea to suck it up and go. Be nice to your mother-in-law--even though I think your husband MIGHT be a momma's boy and she is his ally against you. I don't know, but there is an indication of that. Why else would he go to her house, instead of crashing with a friend or something? Men don't go to their mothers.
You can show that you have class, and poise, and values and standards.
How bad can it be?
2007-12-19 14:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you feel that strongly about not wanting to go ... then don't. You can't fake having fun when you're looking at the one who is making you unhappy. No one wants their Christmas ruined if you two end up getting into a fight.
Talk to your husband about coordinating your kids to go with him for half the day and then get the kids for the other half.
You don't want to be w/o your kids on Christmas but they should be allowed to be with their dad also.
2007-12-19 22:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by Paula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT obligated to go, under any circumstances.
Why not start a new tradition with you and your kids starting this year. Do something special with your children, and let him go do whatever he's doing. Try to accept that it might be this way every Christmas from now on. Might as well break away now.
2007-12-19 23:33:09 · answer #3 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband and you need to work this out together without involving his or your family.
If you are close with his mother and family then it would be some what rude to just not show because you're arguing with him. Be the better person and at least make an appearance for a little bit.
2007-12-19 22:58:12 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not going just to "make a point" probably won't work the way you think it will. I doubt he'd care one way or the other, especially if he's treating you as badly as you claim.
If your kids are old enough to understand, ask them. They should definitely go. They need to stay in contact with the entire family--as long as it's safe for them to do so. As for you, if it's okay with your kids that you're not going to be with them and their father, then bow out this year.
If your marriage is truly at an end, this will not be the last time you two are not at the same table during the holidays.
2007-12-19 23:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by mattdaddy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not so sure that I would go. It would depend on the circunstances ... and one of the circumstances is that he is not living with me .. and IS living with his mother.
Also - if he is making you very unhappy - would be another big reason not to go .. you could not spread lots of cheer being so unhappy.
I don't know what is going on .. but if you have kids & he is living with his mom, etc ... it kinda sounds like he is running all over you. Don't feed his ego.
Since you have children together .. he should be at home .. living with you.
2007-12-19 23:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go with my children and enjoy myself and the children .You can ignore him and have a great time with the rest of the family.Let the kids be with their family on Christmas.and no matter how you are getting along with your husband the kids will want to see their dad at Christmas. good luck
2007-12-19 22:54:10 · answer #7 · answered by ba125712 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you going to go to a place where you will have a miserable Christmas? Do you really think your kids won't know? I am sorry to say that it sounds like you are headed for divorce so why add extra pain to the situation.
2007-12-19 23:03:00 · answer #8 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of the children you should go, I don't think you are obligated, but for them I would. This is one of those ocations that we have to rise above our own pain and be superheroes for our children. You need time to heal, I agree. You also have your reason (which I don't doubt very legitimate), and you have all the rights to be upset. But it is just one day.
2007-12-19 22:56:44 · answer #9 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should go. children needs their grandparants. Take it easy and show elegance/cofidence. You still call him husband else it is an ex & you do not need to participate.
2007-12-19 22:53:17 · answer #10 · answered by TT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋